154: Do You Ever Feel The Urge To Disrupt Your Life When Things Are Going Well

It wasn’t until I landed in a place that felt like home that it became clear that a new path was unfolding — Recently I hit a year mark of staying in one place, after years of bouncing around. I am struck that I was able to do it. Now, surrounded by people I love & the energy that stability has given me, I see clearly the comfort I have allowed myself to feel.  I used to think to think that comfort was a bad thing. I used to think that if I wasn’t meeting new people & experiencing new things all the time I wasn’t living. I realize now, that was just a different type of living. As I become more conscious of this thought I still struggle with the urge to disrupt. disrupt. disrupt. There’s so much to be said about the need to create chaos when life feels good — especially when you live in constant chaos for so long.  When I think of why I feel this way I see the profound impact that discomfort has left in my life. In discomfort, I have seen, done & experienced. But maybe choosing comfort over the urge to disrupt is the uncomfortable choice here. Choosing to sit in the beauty of everyday life with familiar faces & places — making it easier to stay grounded in my goals & visions.  But recently, I haven’t felt the most connected to myself. I feel distant from the parts of myself that have shown up during times I have been elated by the world. Is it possible that even more parts of myself will be revealed? Parts that couldn’t come out during constant periods of stress & chaos? I don’t know the answer. But if I know I have a consent impulse to feel alive. I am learning the art of intentionality over impulse & challenging myself to ask “why?” -- to be curious every time I feel the urge to disrupt. disrupt. disrupt.  More on this to come, but for now I leave you with a podcast about the urge to disrupt.