156 Loving Your Self - Even If You Don't Feel You Do

This is a very personal story about when I felt so alone.  Depressed and anxious I felt so unloved.  Abandoned by the universe and all in it.  It was around 1978, and I had just escaped from a Christian cult.  I was enrolled in a 4-year Master of Theology program looking for answers.  I was, also, taking refuge.  My life was upside down.  Perhaps you have felt despair, anxiety and depression.  Maybe you feel despair now.  If so, I offer you what I found then.  As I sat still, suddenly, in my despair, I saw that I felt so intensely bad because I cared about myself.  If I didn't care I would not feel so bad.  Yes, feeling bad is not a good way to love oneself.  It was maladaptive but I did love myself.  I wanted better for my life.  That is why I felt so bad about the way it was.  My direct experience that I was loved became a foot hold out of the dark pit.  I baby stepped my way back into health.  Perhaps my plight and what I did can be helpful to you.  Maybe the preceding podcasts as well.  That is why I made them.  If you are really feeling bad, please consider seeing a psychotherapist or minimally reaching out to friends or those that can help.These podcasts are meant to supplement your personal path of awakening whatever that might be. They are a compilation of what I have found to be the most helpful over the last 50 years on my path of awakening. I feel these podcasts are most powerful when listened to in sequence from podcast one forward because each is built on the last.  Though they, also, all stand on their own.  Since we are each a bit different, if anything does not resonate, please disregard it and follow your heart. All my podcasts and website are free. Enjoy!Though I am a psychotherapist, and these podcasts are offered to be spiritually helpful, they are not psychotherapy.  If psychotherapy is ever needed, please reach out to a psychotherapist.www.williamecooper.wordpress.com for more support.  You may, especially, enjoy the short contemplations and the resource page which gives you some supportive material.