Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Turbo Sports Radio. Christmas special. Really? With me Ryan.
Me Matt. I mean Mr. Bug-Bub. And what's that?
What's that? No, Jono isn't here. Jono is on the Turbo Tabletop Christmas do, so he won't be featuring in this episode. I know.
I know. I know. We can't, I only reckon we could get him to ring in for this one either. We can sort of give him a dial and then still do anything.
He's literally out of his Turbo Tabletops. Yeah, I mean, we could, we could try him. You know, we could try him. We could need him to decide what's the best Christmas TV episode ever, even though it's Father Ted.
But if we need him to help decide, even though it is Father Ted, what the best Christmas it is, we could give him a ring. I don't think anyone could deny that though, he said. Someone notes their name as well. I've got some special, some special.
What was your reckon, the best Christmas special ever? Well, I was just going to bring that up into topic. I've got my own personal favourite that can I be eating from me? From, from, I will.
I'm going to say my personal, the best Christmas special, one of the only falls and horses worms. But generally, I think we could probably, you know, have a good conversation about some Christmas specials here because even your average television programme, EastEndos, Corrie, whatever, a lot of the time, I don't, I'm watching some of these pro-tations. I've got a lot of programs in many years. But the Christmas specials, mate, they could be back to back two days in a row on a Saturday or Sunday when they'd never be shown.
These half an hour shows could be an hour long, these hour shows could be almost two hours long. And they're going to be as juicy as it comes. Someone's dying, right? Someone's banging, someone shouldn't be banging.
Yeah, that's nice, won't he? Someone's getting caught banging, someone shouldn't be banging. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's the mess in it.
It's just, it's just, it's a messy business. Yeah, messy, messy, Christmas business. You like a death or a birth, isn't you? They do it the same time.
I'd say, yeah, one's coming in, one's coming out. There's a finite amount of people allowed in this soap in there. So you have to have one in one hour. They got a budget, mate.
Shorty got a budget. Well, exactingles died. Yeah, we were all exactingles. Ladies and gentlemen, all of our listeners in Columbia so high.
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly. Exactly. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So from theTEREC for noises though, what would you say was the best Christmas? See, that's a hard one because one of the latest ones was a good one. Yeah. That's a classic.
That's a classic. Yeah. That is a classic. That is a classic.
That is a classic. Yeah. That's a one. Yeah.
I kind of like that one from like the really old one when Granad was still in there, must be like the eighties when he makes a turkey and eats a jiblic in there's that whole issue. And then this is like deadly Omidly just in like a shit club. like a shit club sort of having a really sad, sucking time and time. It's like a really depressing sort of classic 80s Christmas.
That was quite a good one. Were you a fan of Grand Dello? Did you like a cloud bit? Because I'm more of an unclean.
I was old, I went on cloud was obviously older. So you sort of understood it more. Yeah. Grand Dello was a bit like, Go, go, what's my product now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's my product now? I think you're a pre-set Grand Dello more as you sort of get older in the dynamic of your family changes. Because you understand what the Grand Dello sort of is.
Massily. But I think as a kid, Uncle Albert was funnier because he was doing a war. Doing a war. And then I saw a tiger and he went, whoa, well piss myself.
That's what anyone would have done that. No, I mean, no, no. No, no, no. Uncle Albert, you had all the time, didn't he?
If you had all the time with Uncle Albert, he'd go down the pub, he'd drink till he's gone. He'd be seeing a dancing money. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, according to what something money.
Yeah, but you got to respect Grand Dello, who he is? He's not a fucking granddaddy. He's a good character as well. He's a good character.
But I mean, they were always a good Christmas special. Was his little kid being born? Was that a Christmas one? Because he was going to be in the day.
Damien won it as well. So that could have been a Christmas birth. That was a joke that they called him Damien on Christmas. Oh, yeah, yeah.
And I'm pretty sure when it went down to the, just after Damien being born, not long after that, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it just went on to Christmas specials, like no episodes would come out. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then we'd get that one every year, you know, with them winning, not with Lottery, but becoming rich. Yeah, I was not right.
Yeah, was that a Christmas one? Yeah, that was a Christmas special. And then the year after that was then, yeah, because it was that one, then they found the watch, won it. And it was like, that's when he got money.
The episode after that is then being rich and losing all the money. Yeah, it was that shit, I think. That when they, like the one they tried to do after they won all the money and then they lost all the money, I reckon that was pretty poor. I think I didn't mean it.
It's part of the story. Yeah. Obviously you've got to try and wrap something like that up, I guess. Yeah.
Yeah, but it's been born for years. Yeah. It's been money bollocks. Exactly.
Take Delboy in LA. Delboy in LA. You would be sweet. Yeah.
Delboy in Hawaii. You know, I've got to ride the whole series. You've got to watch the Miami twice, right? Yeah, Miami twice.
Exactly. Delboy in Miami. It works. Delboy up to the first.
Yeah. He comes out in his lados and loving it. And it waits and then Rodney just plods over all soul key wearing lados. Whoa, it's actually bloody money, isn't it?
Shit, right? It's easy. It's easy. Yeah, where else could he be?
Where else? If you were going to write an episode right now, I had a table mate. Sorry, I was at a table. I was at a table and he'd just come into my room.
I got a page where delboy in. You're sweating your fucking ticks off. Where were they sending? Yeah.
You got to send him. Where were they sending him? He's got me. He's got me in South America, any?
South America. He's gone to Columbia. He's got some diamonds and he's got to go there and be a mix up. He ends up with some of the old Columbia marching powder.
He's a bit of a woo, a bit of a wear. He don't know where he's going. Police are chasing after him because he looks exactly like another Cuban. He looks like an escapar.
He looks like an escapar. So they all chase now. He's going to tackle one of these out there. Especially when it's a telling Columbia.
There's a bit of a woo, a bit of a wear. Comes out Rodney's age of day and then he comes over and he gets him. He's on cloud but they go to another village and he's loads of kids like I'm cloud. Like in France.
Apparently he crashed there. Didn't he? Cracked in clob? No, I was going to say they cracked the briefcase when he got home.
Thinking he didn't have any of the coke with him. Yeah. And he did. He's got all so then he can tell that shit that the coke when he gets back.
Oh he knows someone's in there. Yeah, of course. Of course he does. Mickey Pius knows someone.
I was a dental man myself. Yeah. Dental was great. That scene where they're in Calais in France when they got over when he was just being away.
But Rodney doesn't know about it. He's just meeting up with Denzel and then Trigger turns up as well. Just at the point. Oh, don't talk to me anyway.
It's just that is comedy. That's layered comedy. It's so good. The heart of the fight went with a butterfly though and then it comes past on the roller skates.
Oh my God. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good ending.
That's a good ending. Yeah. Only Paul's North is a Christmas, an English, British Christmas last time of the night. You know, our American listeners are German listeners.
We've been getting, like I said, a fair few more Germans. Surely you must love only Paul's North. They must have changed that to German. That shit, Charles.
Yeah. Although every person, you know, pretty much everyone speaking English apart from English. Well, what about you guys? What's some of your top?
Well, we were talking about, um, we were talking about the other day when we were in Amsterdam. We were saying I'm good at this. Possibly. We might be pissed at the time.
But, um, obviously, we were just kind of talking about Christmas specials in Barbte coming up. And I was fucking searching for it last night and actually managed to find this old kind of like one that came from the sun. Three DVD sort of thing. Just to put it on, you know, just to get a fresh in a memory.
It is such a good episode. They basically lost in the lingerie section of like a... You love your children's playing department, aren't you? Yeah, in like a...
A definite episode. But they turn it into the jungle. You know, it's a classic... Basically, everyone's got the character that you'd be in a sports nigga thing or something.
Like a nam, yeah. So they're all kind of like, you know, trudging through. Trudging through. They're almost holding guns, but they're not.
I've always got a bralina, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one of the lads gets like the bra fliced in his face. It's a red bar as well.
It's a bit of blood sort of thing. And he's like, no, leave me. Go on about me. Go on about me.
But to see, you know, priests do this. It's just, it's silly. Yeah. But that's why it's so good.
It's like this is pure humour that isn't taking a piss out of the Catholic church at all. You know, that's your thing. Cool. But you can still use these characters in a way that makes it so outrageous.
Because they're saying, we can't be seen in here. We can't be seen in here. But priests are in a lingerie section. And then the deal is after they get out, Barbara Ted gets awarded the Golden Cleric.
Oh, right. They get them out of a jam. What? They're like a scandal.
They avoided a scandal. So he's talking to some old boy in Rome who's like, it's feet up and he's having a... He's having a fat cigar. He's having a fat cigar.
He goes, is there a monetary ward? Oh, no, no, times are time to take ten. He's like, gold everywhere. But it's so good.
It's such a good episode. I can't see past it. I think as a TV Christmas episode, that is the top tier. That's the top tier.
That's right. You know, you've got some South Park episodes. You know, Christmas critters, which was a good one. Which we spoke about last year about my favourite Santa was the South Park Santa.
The Crates of the Shoches. The Crates of the Shotgun. So that was a good episode. Yes.
That was a good episode. The whole ending of that was Carmen's dream, wasn't it? Yeah. And Kyle basically died of AIDS.
That was like the whole payoff, you know, just to get Kyle. But I think, I don't know, this was just... I was saying to Matt before he started recording as well, that, oh, Ted Crillie, Parvati Ted. He was more arrogant in this episode as well.
Oh, right. Yeah, he kind of... he felt like he deserved a golden cleric and like, maybe he did. You know, and then Mrs Doyle was saying, no, he's asking Mrs Doyle.
Do you think I'm the best priest in Ireland? Do you think I'm the best one? Do you think I'm the best one? Yeah, maybe the second best.
Oh, that's the second best. And he gets his shirt about that. But he just plays it and the joke continues. Yeah, yeah.
He just kind of like... Oh, it's fine. The second best, the second best. He was so good.
What's the... what's the... Let's give the actors and... Do you know what his name?
Do you know his name? Should we do his name real quick? You look out for yourself and you'll say, oh, yeah, fucking knows his name. It's Dermot's name.
Because we need to... Yeah, we need to really give... Give him a little mention. The actor, the big up's is...
What an actor? Dermot Morgan. Dermot Morgan. Yeah, we're doing their name now.
What? I just held everything together in there. You know what I mean? You almost...
he was the straight guy, right? Kind of. Yeah. He was a...
He was a duke always a daffod man. Yeah, and Jack's a fucking... He's just a bastard. He's just a cat face.
He's just a drink fat woman. Yeah, and Mitch is always a slapstick. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she's really good at that. Yeah. It's always funny when he's seen with anything else and he's not an old woman as well. Hey, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah. And you're normal. He's a fucking old woman in 20 years now, I'm just probably younger than you were when you watched me in it.
Oh yeah, probably. Proper crap, I mean that's... Another good one as well. Christmas TV, episode I enjoyed was...
Yo, pickle diddly did what you want to do. Oh, I was going to say that as well. It's so good. It's kind of on the path of Faber Ted, sorry.
Let's just bring some world together as well. Triggers in it, any? Yeah. Trigger is...
Erm... you in? Oh, you in? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you've got the mustache. Is he got the mustache in that one? Oh no, I can't remember. My favourite is it Jim, the...
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, go on, I'm Jim. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes. Yeah, it's the...
Yeah, it's the... The Christmas special is great. It's eating on Christmas dinners, isn't it? Yeah.
But, you know, I've been in that position before where I've had to eat Christmas dinners. Oh, I didn't get invited around the village. But I could have... You could squeeze in...
I reckon you could squeeze in four. Yeah, you could take four Christmas dinners. Yeah, I've had two massive ones. What sort of space of time?
What's our timeframe? What are we talking about for the four? What Christmas day on Christmas dinner? Yeah, so what time would the earliest someone would eat Christmas dinner?
Twelve or I reckon? Yeah. Do you think some people would have it at twelve? Yeah, so I reckon some people would have it.
Yeah, we're much later than that. Yeah, yeah, we are. Maybe people would like young kids who'd been up at like five. There's too much drinking to be done to eat...
Yeah, that's... No, exactly. I reckon twelve would go up. So I could be invited.
So you'd be up at six, presents, and then all that. Down at five, Guinness. Twelve o'clock, fucking Christmas dinner. So I've gone to the first house.
You've got twelve o'clock dinner. Yeah, you know, even if it's a big one, that would get me going. The next dinner's at two. Next dinner's at two.
So what, do you have a little tactical sleep for an hour or something or what? No, I think, mate, I think. If you go down, you're not coming back. No, I don't know.
Christmas dinner. No, you're not coming back. There's almost like a morning kip, you know what I mean? So would you stay in...
You know, I suppose there's not any rules here. Really, is that you've got to get the dinners down here. You've got to go out to the house. You're not even for dinners at your one house.
You've got to go out to the house. Yeah, no, I've got to go. It's a village. So it's only take five minutes.
Yeah, I've been in the same... Is there a pub in the middle of the village? Yeah, one pub in the centre would have been there. So I thought...
It's a ten minute walk to each house or five minute five minute ripups. You know what I'm going to do, right? I've had my dinner. I've had my dinner.
You've got to have a little bit of recovery time. Yeah, it's not a straight set up. Yeah, my recovery time is in the pub. That's what I'm saying.
You've probably got to have an extra Guinness at this point. So you've got two hours to eat that dinner, get that Guinness and get to the next house. Yeah, well, I'd eat that. I'll be done in five minutes, mate.
Cheers. I'd literally go, cheers. Thanks. And then go.
God bless you. Because I'm the vicarina. Yeah, you're the vicarina. Yeah, so I'm blessed with everyone on the head.
Go round. Bless their pigs and blankets. Because they haven't been to eat yet. I mean, I'm a scot mine.
So I've blessed with everyone and take one. I'm like, I'm like blessed with a couple of second mopock. Actually. Yeah, because then I mean, you're going to get caught out by second dinner.
You won't make it. You won't make it in five seconds. Five seconds. You'll get to the pub after second dinner and you'll be crying because you're a need of food.
Eating all the mix nuts at the pub as well. Yeah, you've got to have a couple of packs. Just on the side. Just keep going to dinner six.
You don't ask me. Yeah, but I'm a vicar. Then we'll see. Because you're doing your vicarage course now.
Yeah, I'm doing a course. I'm not officially a vicar, but if you do the vicarage course first, then you get a vicarage. Yeah, get a vicarage first. That's what you do with me.
That's the only reason you do it. You get a vicarage. It's a nice house. You can have a wife these days.
Oh, I was winning. Yeah, exactly. You like it. It's a good time to go.
Go for the vicarage. Anyone is interested in going to the vicarage. Google helps become a priest and then click on the first thing that comes up. The first thing that comes up.
You can just find a vicarage. If you go to a vicarage, you can just say, I'm having this one. You have to fight and kill the vicar currently there. And then you get that vicarage, but then you have to learn to be a vicar.
Yeah, that's close, mate. What you actually have to do is a goshy. Yeah, maybe not kill him. Just like that or something.
You can kill him, but you don't initiate a goshy. It's not a boy. No, exactly. So if you have a goshy in through a thing like a thing like that, then you'll be perfect.
Because then you'll show in respect. You'll show in that's how we should have gone. Yeah. Because if you're a priest, surely not.
Get smashed through a thing like that window. That'll fall in from the steeple onto a cross or something. Yeah, but that's the logistics of that, mate. No, I'm a kind of someone who's a bad guy.
That's expensive. So actually get people in place for you to... A lot of preps. And a goshy because you're going to have to wear goshy.
So either two ways. You've got to goshy someone on the ground, drag their carcass up and then lob them. That's hard. That's the end of effort.
It's normally better to use your goshy as the killing method. The third thing does, mate. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I'm not very...
I'm not very... I'm just a bit... It's just a bit of a tip to make. Yeah, you know that we're back because you obviously started your progression.
I'm trying to bet myself. I'm like a bit of a priest. What have you been a priest, mate? Bet me myself, mate, haven't I?
Yeah. So, yeah. Any more Christmas specials we got going? No, I don't know what it's going on.
Oh, bottom. Yeah, see, we've got about that one in there. Yeah, gold, frankenstone. The Brussels sprouts.
Oh, yeah. The way, like, cooking a dinner and everything is just... You couldn't get anyone better than Rick Mail to be in that situation. Needing to be heightened, you know.
It's like, because everyone... You know, people do get a little bit heightened at Christmas dinner. So everyone can actually relate to this, you know, this character that is just a slapstick character. Yeah.
Everyone can relate to it because you do normally just get a little bit flustered at one point. But, for the fact that he's there by breaking up. He's close to his face. Yeah.
I want to take your two, please. One must take your two. Two. One must take your two.
One must take your two. One must take your two. One must take your two. One must take your two.
One must take your two. Smash. Fire in the glass out. And the vodka mod you mean.
Do you have any butter or brandy? Do you have to make vodka mod you mean? Oh, good. Yeah.
Yeah. I'll be there. I can't be there. Lovely Christmas bottom special.
Number one. This one sticks in my mind because I had it on some tapes. Mr Bean Christmas special was a good one as well. Mr Bean.
Yeah. Sort of bean baro bean. No, I didn't like it. Oh yeah, this is the bean baro bean.
Mr Bean Christmas special is out one way dipping sticks in my arm irks mate twiglets. I'm not too sure but he's in like a Christmas shop and he's like picks up the Christmas balls and he bounces them off the floor and if they bounce they go all the other smashes. Alright. He makes the Christmas cracker.
He gets like loads of just pulls out the snap bits. He makes a mega one that's got like a load in it. Exploiting is a good one. Nice.
I mean Mr Bean the only thing he's really like infinitely famous for I personally think is taking his boxes off at the beach. Oh yeah. Because everyone did that at school. That was I think you'd do it at school.
Yep. Just be able to take your pants off, but still wear it in shorts. That was a move. You didn't know that move.
I mean. What do you do? Yeah, exactly. Should you even swim in a redly college?
Redly. I swam in a pool. Redly college. I swam in a pool.
I didn't go to the school. Obviously. I was just allowed to swim in a pool for some reason. Do you see Mr Bean there when he's in a bean bar?
No. I didn't go in a bean bar. I didn't go in a bean bar. I couldn't go in a bean bar.
It was like, they say look at you. The hustlers out in front of you know trying to call you in. I'm looking and they're going, oh I'm taking a picture of my mates. I'm not coming in.
I want to show them that there's a Mr Bean bar. I don't want to be drinking in a Mr Bean bar. I don't think I'd even go, well if there's an unimpar-tridge bar when I drink in it. I do like an unimpar-tridge, but I still think it's a bit much in it.
I feel like the only way you're going to go in there is if he's actually in there himself. Even anything. No, I'm not the biggest fan of Ronak. I'm completely honest.
I like Blackadder. He was a person. I like his characters. I just don't think me and him would harmonize.
I think we would be boring. He's a bit too beanie. He's a bit too Mr Bean. When you play in a character round, you're a little beanie yourself.
You did have the Blackadder Christmas Carol. Christmas special. Remember that one? Yeah.
Blackadder is a bit of a huge. It's the same sort of thing. It's the bit and then you decide to be more the bastard. Blackadder is a Scrooge.
Yeah, Blackadder is a different Blackadder to anyone else in the storyline. Is it a fresh? Yeah, it's like a big time. It's another fucking time frame, isn't it?
Yeah. It's like his fucking Shakespearean. That in that point I chose Dickin fucking. You never seen that?
No, I think I must have seen that. I must have seen that all of it. What about Noamino and Yule? I've seen that.
Ask it, isn't it. That is good. You had to world's biggest cracker. And you had to fucking punch his to go with it.
And is it someone doing a food? Oh yeah, it's like funny something doing a food. He's like the transvestite chef in that. Yeah, we should have done a research.
We should have had more cohesion. But whatever. Look at my own available. Noamino, Blackadder Christmas Carol.
I think it's called eating not to dinner. Twelve dinners Christmas. I think it's called eating not to dinner. It's probably called eating not to dinner.
It's probably called eating not to dinner. Twelve dinners Christmas. It's probably not to dinner. It's probably not to dinner.
It's like Christmas. It's like a video time. We're doing the terms of radio times. So we're setting them up.
So that's your style. I think I'll start with Vickra. Vickra did. We just kept myself going.
Yeah, it's not easy. I like a bit. There's no chuckles in there. No chuckles.
Late or even in the end. You can hit a falls and horses. Not me. You can pick up a falls and horses throughout the day.
It's like 12. You have two episodes of falls and horses. We just break your Christmas day up. Yeah, I do it.
I mean, first of all, you do need to spend the first time of your Christmas listening to us. So you're not listening to Christmas. You can listen to last year as well first. Just to really get yourself flowing.
I reckon you should end up. Father Ted, I would say end up Father Ted because that's what I'm afraid of. That's a perfect. Abig Yeah, they got three.
I reckon they got shit no new in the end though. They definitely killed off. You can't. When they say about having a fucking, oh you have to bath the turkey or whatever.
And he's sat in a bath and it's silly. Yeah, that's a bit silly. Because they've always got a nuance to it. And then it got almost, just slapped there.
Almost kind of just, yeah, dumb, dumb. But that one with, when two is having like, Denise was having a baby. Oh yeah. I reckon Jim was like sat on the bathroom floor.
That was fucking beautiful, wasn't it? That was good. Yeah, people crying and everything. Yeah, everyone was crying.
I was crying. I had been wanting that. And the Christmas stuff in, I would have known a gravy. I would have made that gravy.
Just getting up so cute. Put him in some water. Give me a little mix. Go on down for me, Mum.
That's good. That is good. That is good. That is good.
Is it Den's, Den's logo, whatever his name is from. Also, keep it appearances. Yeah, that's good. He's a good actor.
He's a really good actor. We're not really helping out any of our internationalists as all your references. But yeah, you can do your reference. Yeah, look at that.
I was saying, just going to watch it. I'm even beginning to look up. Just watch it. You enjoy it.
You're not going to not enjoy it, are you? You should be better enjoy it. You might get it. Yeah.
This is unofficially a Turbo Tavern as well. It's just on the numbers. It's not on the numbers. The party's being out with a tavern.
Is it a number? It's a Christmas special. But it's held at that time. So we have got beers on the go.
Do you have a menu? We have got a beer menu. So, what started you up Rosie? It's a dessert.
We probably should have had it last. It's a couple of little something held over from Summer for you. It is a sour. Nice.
We've got the old Volkswagen, Neapolitan Scoop. It's a strawberry chocolate and vanilla sour. Sounds pretty good. Yeah.
It's very ice cream. Have you ever tasted yet? No, no. I think the chocolate might be a bit of an addition to it.
I might not have added chocolate if I was to... Oh, it's good. It's a sour. It's a beautiful sour.
It is an saujic. It is the ice cream. Really? It's Neapolitan.
Yeah, it's the... It's got all the flavours in there. Is the scoop. It's called Neapolitan Scoop.
Yeah, it is the whole scoop. So, I'm just going to give everyone the approval right now because they call it Neapolitan Scoop and it is Neapolitan Scoop. Yeah, you've got all three of the scoops in there. What percents do we make?
6.5. It's all five. Healthy. Healthy.
How per hell. Luscious Scottish strawberries meet rich chocolate and vanilla, creamy vanilla in every scoop. See, I mean, it's a dessert sour at the end of the day. It's great.