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Mwah-mwah-mwah-neh! Mwah-ni! Mwah-ni! Mwah-ni!
Mwah-ni! James, do you recall a movie called Jerry Maguire? Uh... Yeah, okay.
That featured Tom Cruise, and I have a funny story about this. Since we're gonna be talking about Tom Cruise's label today, I was in psychology class back in the day, and we brought up Jerry Maguire, and he posed a question to the group, and he said, What's the one line you remember from the movie Jerry Maguire? I raised my hand and shouted like a jackass, Show me the money! And he's like, Well, yes, okay, and then he chose a girl, and she said, You had me at hello.
And it was a funny difference, differences of what the mind was going with, the guys and the women in the class. Me, the jackass, gave me the scream of the money, and then the emotional more aspect of it of, You had me at hello. I thought that was a little fun exercise that he did, and how we were calling certain things in the psyche. That's my fun little anecdote for introducing our subject of the day.
Mainly Tom Cruise. Tom. Tommy. Tommy Cruise.
Tommy. Tommy Cruise. He was in a little movie we checked out this week called American Made. American Made.
And we're gonna be talking to you as Canadians. James, did you like this movie? Hard no. Okay, good.
Moving on. This movie had a lot of advertising and really jammed it down your throat. Tom Cruise is a playful little shithead in this movie, and he's gonna be working for the CIA and the Nargos, the traffickers of Colombia. For the IAC, the IAC, that's right.
What is that for? No, Independent. Air. Something company?
Console? Or console location? I don't know. It's stupid.
That sounds made up. That sounds made up. Thanks. Yep, that's correct.
So yeah, before we end that movie, James, you're not a big fan of Tom Cruise, as I recall. Definitely not recently. Most of the recent movies have been shit. You're telling me that you didn't like the mummy.
I love Brendan Fraser's mummy. Check that old school episode back. I already talked about Tom Cruise's mummy this year. This is second movie in 2017 where he's the selling feature, I'd say.
And the second one where it kind of was a bit of a stinker. Yeah. This one, I mean, if you've seen the trailer, the trailer sold us. You're like, oh, you know what?
It could be a fun little romp. And the director Doug Lyman, he's done some good shit, some entertaining action flicks and has some sass and some of his other movies where he's done fucking swingers. He's done Born Identity, Mr. Smith, which is not the best but very entertaining.
But yeah, it ruined Brad Pitt and Trevor Anderson's relationship with Buck's Aks. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you?
And you also did another Tom Cruise movie, which I actually really like this movie, Edge of Tomorrow. Or some regions that I was called Live Die Repeat. And actually looking forward to this, he's going to be directing a sequel to that. I think it's called Live Die and Repeat and Repeat.
So maybe they can work on that title. Yeah. So just call it to stick to Live Die and Repeat perhaps because that's what it was originally and forth got changed to Edge of Tomorrow. That was a really good original sci-fi movie, Groundhog's Day.
I haven't seen the first one, but... You should check that out because that's really good. And I'm like blending this a tough ass and that as well. Yeah, just Tom Cruise Day.
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Hopefully he's not in second one. It's actually pretty good because he's like an officer in that movie and he's going to get thrown to the front lines of an invading alien force, right? Oh, okay.
I know what you're talking about. I haven't seen it, but I know the video. It's pretty good. He tries to wiesel his way out of it.
He's a little bitch pretty much at the beginning. And then he's classic, Tom. He just keeps getting fucked up and fucked up and fucked up. So you see him become more griseled and griseled.
It's the same battle that he's doing, but he's learning these scales as he goes. So you don't really have an idea of how long he's stuck in this loop, but you know he's seen some shit and he's seen it over and over again. That's really good. But yeah, Doug, he's done some good shit and he has done some good shit with Tom Cruise.
And maybe that's why they're teaming up again for American Maiden. You know, I feel like this era right now is the hot topic because I think that Narco saw in Netflix really brought the interest and the visceral content of what was the atmosphere, what was going on in that time. That was a good fucking series and it made the drug trafficking genre cool again. And so obviously this movie is trying to capitalize on that I think for that people's interest.
And it really didn't do much. It's shallow. There's not much substance to it. Money can solve everything.
You know, it's typical, like you see this type of movie before, like your Scarface and your narco's and stuff like that, where you have this glamorous lifestyle that you have all this money you don't know what to fucking do with. And then you slowly see it kind of like destroy the character and how it becomes their downfall type thing. You know, that's what's going to happen here, but there wasn't enough of progression. You know, it's just all of a sudden, yeah, you fucked up.
They get too greedy. They get caught up in the game. They game fucks him. Yeah.
And then we're going to repeat three times and end of movie. And you know what's a historical event? So you're like, no, well, this one is quote unquote based on a true story, but I'll get back to that in a bit because that's horseshit. So you know what's going to happen, but there are better stories and better movies and better TV series that they have more to work with longer times, better story angle.
And this was a good on the surface, a good story for this very seal guy, but they just kind of fucked up. They have Tom Cruise. They have Tom Cruise though. They have and you know what?
He did carry the movie a little bit and he does have that smile that shitting grin that we all love him for. Or he knows Rosie O'Donnell. I don't know if he knows where Rosie O'Donnell is like fucking talk show back in the day. She always fling those kushkush things in the crowd.
And she had the biggest lady boner for Tom Cruise. That's what I, that's what I, Rosie O'Tom Cruise is. That's a fucking talk show on those kushkush balls. That's a way back, a way back where he went.
Going way back. The movie, you know it's not Tom Cruise's fault. He actually does a decent job playing Barry Seal. Yeah well he's way more, I'll get into this now then.
So this is based on true story bullshit. The director has come up and quoted saying that he's a fun little lie. That he's based on the story around Barry Seal. He doesn't have a handsome and charismatic personality that Tom Cruise has.
He had three wives. He's not a smoking hot blonde. But for the sake of the movie, sure. Why not?
Have to sell it. Have to sell I guess. And the fact, you know like obviously the CIA guy, there's no Shafer. There's nothing like that.
Barry, he probably did get in over his head. But the way he made it seem like he's a mastermind. He's always like the go to guy. And 1978 was the first time he worked with these people.
But I looked into it and Seal had gone record before he got capped. I don't know if that's the actual way he died and looked into it that much. But he said he had worked and done some other stuff prior to that. Like the 1950s and stuff like that.
So he's like this short little, retunded ass white. The real Barry Seal. If you look at the pictures of him, he's not this handsome, shredded 55 year old man. But yeah, so as I was saying, Tom Cruise, the fault doesn't lie in him.
I think it's just what he was kind of given. And he does well with what he's given. Just a story telling alone. Storyline sucks.
It's kind of boring. It's about two hours long. Yep. Of the same thing.
And that's not to say there are some fun bits in there. Like when he first comes across, when he drops off the weapons to, what are they? The fucking... Contras.
The Contras. Like he's taking his glasses. He takes glasses, boots. Don't even care about the guns.
No. They didn't want to fight him. They just wanted his American swag. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty much it. But you want to get into it. It's kind of one of those movies where it's like he's scene, the trailer, the trailer, the trailer.
The trailer. The trailer. The trailer. The trailer.
The trailer. Like he's scene, the trailer. The trailer has all the good parts. Yeah.
You saw the trailer, you saw the movie. You don't have to go see the movie. 100%. 100%.
You know what it would have been? One hour, 53 minutes shorter. That's average time for a trailer. Yeah, you're right.
Do you want to get into what the plot was here? So we just kind of build the stage and what we're dealing with. I think we'll kind of build it around it. Yeah.
So Barry Seal is an airline pilot in the States. I guess it's TWA. TWA. Late 70s.
I guess he gets caught. I don't really caught it. But he's smuggling cigars into the States. From Cuba.
From Cuba. But I think they're in Canada. Well, he brings them to Canada and the United States. Yeah, from Cuba.
And the CIA agent tells his name. Shaper. He kind of black males him a little bit. I don't really get into it.
But he kind of just says like. He says to Tom Cruise that you're not living up to your potential. Top of your class, your first youngest pilot to do some of them. He states all of his credentials.
He's kind of like. Come over here. I thought your cigars here. So we know that you're trying to make a little extra money on the side.
Come over here for the CIA. He doesn't really give an option. He's like. Just come with me now.
And he doesn't actually float and say that he's CIA. He's just kind of like. He just kind of like. Dilly dowl around it.
He doesn't actually get to it. And he doesn't really like. Black male him. But it's like.
It's a new way. It's pretty funny. They cut to a whole movie. Like Cruz documenting his time and stuff.
Kind of in the future. Yeah. And he's like. I probably should have asked more questions.
Probably should have asked more questions. That was a good beat. You know. That reflection was like.
He starts out just kind of running the guns. Well first he's doing the papers. What is he doing? Pictures.
He's taking surveillance pictures of like these rebel forces. Contras. He's all over South America. He's getting this nice shiny new quick jet.
Yeah. And he gets the fuck around and he gets the best pictures anyone's ever seen. And who's responsible in Shapers like. Yeah.
He's played by a normal Gleason. He's he was in Ex Machina. He was Bill Weasley and Harry Potter. And he is most recently.
Or not most recently. But he's also in. About time with Rachel McCatoms. And General Hux.
The neo-Nazi bad guy in Star Wars. Yeah. Yeah. And so he keeps getting more responsibilities or tasks given to him by Shafer.
Kind of pushing the boundaries every single time. Yeah. Every single time. He starts running guns.
While he's running the guns he gets caught up with Cartel. Cartel. The Cartel. The Medellian Cartel.
Escobar and his two pals. Yeah. I forget what the brothers are called. The brothers three pretty much.
Whereas the main players. And kind of in Pavlesque Bar. Even though he's the head honcho here. He's a very small role.
He's not the main. He's not his main contact. Yeah. The main contact on the Cartel.
I can't remember what the hell he has name is right now. He's going to do that. But we'll come back to it. So while he's doing that they get him to run drugs.
Back into the States. Back into the States. Shafer kind of catches on that. Or Chow it.
Or hey. Yeah. And yeah. So while he's running the drugs back into the States.
The CIA and Shafer. Or DA catches them. Yeah. Someone catches them.
They get the wind of what he's doing. So yes. To move his family from Louisiana. To.
To this little female Arkansas. Which is really funny. It's like did you know Bill Clinton? Was the governor of Arkansas?
Yeah. Was he at the time? Yeah. I think it was.
Yeah. Yeah. He's in the. That was Reagan.
No I know. I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton's. Oh. They mentioned him on the phone.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then that's pretty much what happens.
He gets caught dealing drugs. Or smuggling drugs I should say. CIA gets involved. He has to do more shit.
Gets caught again. Has to more shit. Finally eventually it backfires. And the Cartel finds out.
That he's actually CIA. And even though he's been working for them. You know. They want to burn all the bridges.
They don't want anything to do with him. Because they don't want to have been supporting the Cartel as well as giving them the guns. Because he realized the Contras. The Contras meet up with Cartel.
And they realize the Contras don't want to fight. They don't want to do any of that shit. They trade the guns for the drugs. Yeah.
Pretty much. Where they give the guns to the. So the Cartel ends up with all the CIA guns. Yeah.
Yeah. Which is. He just gets away over his head. And it's pretty funny.
Because you have that kind of. This is where the money sells everything. And then it becomes problems. It's problems.
Yeah. They're trying to hide it. They pretty much turn the shit hole. Me in a town.
My apologies to anyone who's from that area. But they make it look like this little shanty town where he comes in and he gets CIA gives him all this land. His own airport. And they bring the Contras back to train.
Which doesn't go well. And then he starts buying up all these banks and properties to try to launder the money. And he's digging up holes in the bushes. He's taking new ones.
And then he doesn't realize that he's dug there. He gets a pretty much the classic gag where he opened up claws. And there's too much in it. Yeah.
Oh, it falls on a little. Real original. And then you have that fun scene where he's like, I'm going to walk out of here. And I'll buy you all caddier if you just let me go now.
After he finally gets arrested. Yeah. He still gets out of it because. Yeah.
Yeah. And that leads to a downfall because he just has community service. He actually probably would have been a little more safer in prison perhaps in the area. You never know.
But he ends up being watched a lot of documentaries on Mexican gangs. Mexican. Not the Mexicans though. They're the Colombians.
The Colombians. The ones in these respects. Now I'm trying to put the cartel bro. The cartel gets you especially that time.
They'll fuck with their money. Well, that's pretty much the plot here. And it's just so anti-climactic because it just ends. You know he gets fucked.
He gets shot up. But you don't even see that. No, they don't even show you. Give me something.
Give me something. Give me something. But because of its lighter tone, obviously they're not going to show some guy. Yeah.
A bunch of blood and gore. They're not going to. No. I guess that's what they're going for.
They're going for a light-hearted version of the story. It's supposed to be fun. You got to choose a better way of doing it. Or get some punch lines.
And you have the story of where his brother-in-law is going to snitch and be a little shithead. That seems actually pretty good because that's probably one of the most realistic parts of this movie is where they bonnal our shit. So that car blew the fuck up and killed the brother-in-law. And that's a good actor too.
That's Caleb Landry Jones. He's an X-Men first class. He's a good actor. He's a good actor.
He really is. Another actor actually plays a sheriff. He was in Friday Night Lights. He's like the best friend.
And he plays production scene character. Kind of like the Doki sheriff. But he's a good actor too. I forget his name at the moment.
It's going to to. But he was underused. Just to see something. Just to see something.
Yeah. He was fine. But he's not in it nearly enough. Yeah.
If it's going to be lighthearted, at least just go on and lighthearted. And then you can do that a little bit. Goofy. Or.
But with the subject matter though, I mean it's hard core. It's hard fucking core bro. Serious. It's gross.
I don't know. It just fell really flat and it was super boring. I still feel like a good hour into the movie. And I remember it was kind of just like, can we get on with it?
Like pick it up or finish it or go. Like, and they have those small interactions between characters which is nice. And then it just drags on and drags on and drags on and there's nothing. There's nothing fulfilling.
There's no arc for any of these characters. Really? I mean, did you see any development with Tom Cruise? Because he's just not really no.
He just shovels your head. He gets out of all the trouble until he's dead. He looks like he's having a good time with it all the entire time. Even when he's in a bind.
Even when he's in a binder. Even when he's in a binder. I'm going to get out of it. He doesn't tell his wife that he's working for the CIA.
She still thinks he's working for TWA. And he's just kind of like, she finds out or whatever. He's lying. And he's just like, oh, well, do you trust me?
She's like, well, no, fuck you. But then he's like, OK, well, do you love me? She's like, OK, let's go. OK, let's do that.
Hey, buddy, for a new oven. Here's my new fridge. And he's saying, blow, blow. We're all good, baby.
Look at all this money. Let's go fucking a plane. That was actually cool. The fucking zero gravity.
That was actually pretty easy. I enjoyed that scene. It was a quick one, but it's just a little different taking out. Well, he's 55 now.
It's not going to last that long. And she looks like she's having a way to go time. Sex. Sex.
Sex. Sex. But I mean, there's not even a whole lot of cool flying scenes either. There's one scene.
That one scene. That I thought was really funny. They're going on their route and they're trying to avoid certain flight passes like that. And they're in autopilot.
They're trying to just outfly these super fast E-planes, but they run their fuel really quick. So they're going on autopilot and they're just flying and waiting out. And one of his crew and another plane falls asleep. So he does, he does some maneuver where he just kind of like, he does his wing.
Yeah, he does his wing just over at the other guy's wing. He's just whacks it to wake him up. And that was funny. It was funny.
It had that some moments where it's like he's getting prepped for top gun too or something. It was funny and it was a decent scene, but I mean, there's nothing like extravagant about any of the flying scenes. And I've got a couple of pilots that rent rooms off me and live at my place and they're all gun-ho-bo-bo watching the movie because they're like, oh, it's a bit of pilot. Smuggler.
It's going to be so cool. It's playing. It's actually. It's not bro.
It wasn't even like redeeming. You know? It's the glorification of this lifestyle. And it's just, there's no, as I said before, I feel like I'm being this.
The trailer is like a 9, 0, 10. The movie is a lot worse than that. Yeah, I'd say like a fucking 4, 5. They're just selling, selling Tom Cruise.
And that's it. And I don't know how much longer a movie is going to be able to get away. Because he's starting to, to stalk has to be going down. I kind of say like, well, let's talk about that.
I can't lie to the people. This budget was $50 million, which is modest enough, I guess, for a Tom Cruise movie. It's a healthy budget. It's made back probably around 80 million by this point.
We're recording a day later this week and we know we had some other shit going on. But since we're quite right now, it's about 85 probably. So it's made its money back and a little bit of profit. But I don't know.
It's doing good. I mean, right there, it didn't start on top. The Kingsman's still on top in domestic theaters. It's like that.
But it's good for whatever. But I don't know how much longer selling a movie just on the big movie stars. It's going to do anything these days. Especially just the one big actor.
Definitely. Definitely more substance. I can't even think of a good fun scene that I can talk about other than what we've already talked about. There's my favorite scene, which is also in the trailer.
So you knew it was going to happen. It was probably when he was arrested. He's talking about it. He's talking about it.
He's talking about it with the guys from the DA and the local police and the FBI. That's a fun scene. It is a fun scene. But you've seen it.
So you see what's going to the movie. Just God damn it. The movie got decent ratings. It got a 7.3 on IMDb.
They're just suckling on the teat of Tom Cruise as far as I'm concerned. It's not horrible, but nothing happens. It's so boring. It's so boring.
It's supposed to be fun and exciting. Do you know what my favorite scene of this was? The plain sex scene. Nope.
The credits because I mean we was done. I actually get the fuck out of there. God damn. It's not even...
It's not even... How dare you. No, it's just... Because this movie is just so plain.
I can't trash it because it's not even bad enough to be good bad. It's just so... It's just white bread. It's just soggy white bread.
It's just soggy white bread. It's soggy white bread. And you know there's people involved with this that have talent that are good. Tom Cruise hit or miss some days, but you have these good actors.
You have a good director with a decent resume for some fun banter or some awesome action scenes or a little bit of both. And he just... Anything foggy? Yeah.
I hit that note. 10-0-10. Thanks buddy. Hey guys, let's fuck it.
Wrap up fucking American made. If you want to... I saw this before a bunch of times already. Go watch season 1-2 and 3 of Narcos.
That's a little bit more gritty. If you want to get some more background, maybe probably historically a little bit more accurate of what's going on. For all you movie makers out there, if you're going to cast a Pablo Escobar, it has to be the guy from Narcos. It doesn't matter how much money you have to pay him.
It has to be that guy. He's become Pablo now? Yes, absolutely. He's awesome in Narcos.
And I mean like this guy, whatever. He has small roles. Did you know the guy that plays Pablo Escobar in that series? He didn't actually didn't speak Spanish before.
Right. Yeah, being cast now. He's Brazilian. I think he's Brazilian.
So he's good. They speak Portuguese. Portuguese, yes. That's fucking Portuguese.
So he had to learn another language for that. He doesn't know. I think he did a good job. He does a really good job.
Watch that series or watch some documentaries on this stuff. And please, again, I've said this before. When you see something that's based on a true story, just be careful that you don't get sucked into it because a lot of it is bullshit. It lies propaganda.
It lies, bro. Fake news. Fake news. Weird tin foil.
It's flat. It's really not. I don't believe that. But yeah, I mean, especially when you have the director, you know, don't sell it as based on a true story.
And then you're going to believe that this guy did all this shit. No, it's not like that. Ah, essentially we got the director saying, no, it's a fun little twist on it. It's a fun little lie.
God damn it. Fuck you. Very silly dick. Very silly.
The guy that provides you with a suggestion. Don't watch this movie. Please don't. Don't watch it.
Watch the trailer. And then he dies at the end. You say it. You saw the movie.
Cool. Congratulations. You don't even get to save him. You've saved your money.
You've saved your money. Send us the $7 and set. We'll set up a Patreon. You're welcome.
Go fund me. So we're down with talking about American made. James, is there anything that you've seen recently or that you'd recommend other than this film? Let me just discuss it.
Well, we watched it a couple weeks ago. And I know that the one kid, did you play Eddie? Yes. I was in Stranger Things.
Yes. No. Not Eddie. It's Richie.
Yes, Richie. Stranger Things season two is coming out in a couple days. Oh, that's right. It comes out next week.
Or is it the seventh of October? I can't remember. It's kind of soon though. Yeah.
It's a really cool week. There's another one that's coming. It might be next week because there's another show I'll get to after. It's coming out this week.
But anyhow, I still haven't gotten around to watching Stranger Things because I've been really busy. And why is that? Because I'm getting married. James is getting married.
I mean, I'm back in, I don't know, 30 hours. I think this comes out. It'll be the next day. Yes.
He's getting married Saturday. But yeah, so I've been busy. So I haven't gotten around to watching it, but I'm going to. And then I'm going to watch the second season and I've only heard good things about the first season.
The other Netflix series that's coming out this weekend is Rivedale, the second season. I don't know if you watched the first season. I watched the first two episodes. Yeah.
And I said, fuck that. I don't want to watch them. It's CW. This teenage thriller bullshit.
Sexy Archie? Sexy Archie. Sexy Archie. Dude, the kid's shredded.
He's supposed to be this. I don't know. Smashing his teacher. He's just digging her down.
He's bringing him. But I mean, I grew up reading the Archie comics. Carly and I binge watched the whole season. It's only 10 episodes or whatever.
So we watched it. Just crushed it. Just crushed it. It's pretty good.
Like I enjoyed the storyline. The actors were pretty decent. Who killed Cherry Blossom's brother on it? Is that it?
Yeah. That's me. But you have the second season coming out. If you're going to go ahead and watch that.
Check it. I watched. Since you brought up it, I watched another Stephen King movie that came out on Netflix. You might have heard of it.
It's getting some good feedback, good reviews. It's called Gerald's Game. Gerald's Game. Yeah.
It has two actors. Actually the one Carly Gagino who is sexy as hell, if I may say so. She's been in quite a bit herself. And also the individual, the husband Gerald.
What's his fucking name? He was the dickhead president in that movie we just watched. Oh. Well, and Kingsman.
He's the dick president. I can't remember right now. I'm fucking. I can't remember the action.
But good movie. Yeah, it was interesting. It revolves around this married couple who go away to this lake house to kind of reignite and kick start their marriage for sex weekend. Do you know what I'm saying?
Trying to help out their marriage. You know what I'm saying? It's been a little bit of a tough. I'm trying to do things.
And Gerald, he hand cuffs Carla to the, her name's Jesse in the movie, to the bed and to kind of do a role-playing action. He pops a couple of biographs and before anything happens or he kind of wants to fill this rape fantasy. But she kind of says fuck off, do what you doing? And he has a heart attack and films.
See you later, he dies. But he dies. She's still trapped. Handcuffed.
So it's this kind of psychological thriller. You know, you get a little bit of her past. And then she kind of hallucinates as well. She hallucinates the husband, Gerald, come back to life.
And she also hallucinates another version of herself in the room. So she's kind of talking to herself. And her other, her hallucinations are kind of giving her hints on how to survive. And it is, it is pretty good.
It's the last chunk of it is a little bit more. There's one scene in particular that I won't ruin for the listeners here. But it's, it's pretty, it's like, oh God, oh Jesus Christ. That's a fucking, yeah.
I'll just say that. Bruce Greenwood. Bruce Greenwood, that's right. That's Gerald.
Bruce Greenwood. Thank you for that. Fact check. That's good.
I definitely suggest that. It's not like it's not going to be like scary. It's not going to be like a magical thriller. It's what the mind kind of dies and it's the ultimate kind of fight for survival.
How much do you want to live? And it's definitely going to go. Check that out last night. And I also started watching this series called, The Confession Tapes, also on Netflix.
Yeah, sorry. Tweet about that. On the Twitter game. Was that, no, no, no.
That's, I know, yeah. Two other things. Two other things. The documentary series with regards to how people are forced to confess certain things where they might have not have actually done the things that they're confessing.