16: On Boundaries and Aging: Who Do You Want to Be for Your Parents?

This week, Shain and Sarah respond to a listener who asks a question many adult children eventually face: How do you set boundaries with an aging parent who needs more emotional support than you have the capacity to give? What begins as a conversation about boundaries quickly becomes something much larger. Drawing from their own experiences caring for aging parents, Shain reflects on the regrets she carries, the repair she longed for, and the compassion that only became possible with hindsight. Sarah explores what boundaries actually are—and aren't—and considers how adult children can care deeply for their parents without losing themselves in the process. Together, they examine the complicated intersection of obligation, resentment, identity, and love. They ask what we owe the people who raised us, how our lifelong relationship with a parent shapes the way we care for them in old age, and, ultimately, who we want to be when someone we love needs more than we can give. It's a thoughtful and deeply compassionate conversation about aging, family, and finding a way to care for both ourselves and the people who once cared for us. Have a question you'd like answered on-air? Submit it anonymously through our Google Form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQpoAX6aWuI4B-Kjbf5SePSrhc3XyFtS-_v31Bvqos6wm6-g/viewform All submissions are anonymous: even though you sign in with your email address, we do not have access to it unless you purposefully toggle on the option to share it. Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/listentomymother