#16: Tom Horne - Home Birth, Loss, and Learning to Feel Again

Welcome to episode 16 of Edge Within with Mat Davenport.In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Tom Horne, a father who lost his son Dash just under two years ago, hours after a home birth, to talk about grief, love, masculinity, and what it takes to keep going when your world splits in two.Tom walks us through the day everything changed: the birth of his son, a sudden medical emergency, and the moment Dash passed away in his partner's arms. We go deep into what grief feels like for a man, why there's no guidebook for this kind of loss, and the years-long process of learning to hold space for his partner's pain while finding his own way to feel it.We talk honestly about home birth versus hospital birth, about being conditioned to man up, and about rebuilding a relationship after unimaginable loss. We end on purpose, and the new brand Tom and his partner have built out of the wreckage.This episode is medicine for anyone who has lost someone, anyone supporting a partner through grief, and any man learning that feeling isn't weakness, it's leadership.TOPICS COVEREDLosing his son Dash after a home birthBirth and death arriving in the same dayWhy grief has no fix or solutionThe lack of support systems for grieving fathersGoing back to work to keep the family afloatChoosing not to numb out with drugs or alcoholWitnessing his partner's 12.5 hour birthThe moment Dash stopped breathing and CPR at homeThe out of body shock of traumaHome birth versus hospital birth, the hard truthsWhy grief and love are deeply connectedBeing conditioned to never cry as a manRite of passage and healthy masculinity for the next generationWhether everything happens for a reasonHow grief physically and emotionally ages youRebuilding a relationship through shared griefRethinking funerals, birthdays and how we honor life and deathBuilding Sana Studio out of griefForce versus flow when chasing your purposeFOLLOWTom: https://www.instagram.com/thomasjackhorne/EdgeWithin: https://www.instagram.com/edgewithinpodcastMat Davenport: https://www.instagram.com/rawmatdavenportTIMESTAMPS0:00 Opening Prayer for Dash1:21 Losing Dash, Two Years Later2:33 Birth and Death in the Same Day6:01 Why Grief Has No Fix9:32 No Guidebook for Loss15:08 Keeping the Ship Afloat19:13 Sink or Swim27:23 Witnessing the Home Birth33:36 When Dash Stopped Breathing36:39 This Is Real, This Is Not a Dream44:51 Home Birth vs Hospital: The Hard Truths53:02 Grief and Love Are the Same Coin58:22 Why Tom Never Cried in His 20s1:04:11 Rite of Passage for Men1:12:11 Does Everything Happen for a Reason1:15:48 How Grief Ages You and Relationships1:29:47 Rethinking Funerals and Birthdays1:38:12 Building Sana Studio From Grief1:53:43 Force vs Flow: Chasing Purpose