164: How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel

Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership Is someone you care about – or maybe even you – working for a jerk? My guest Tom Henschel from the Look & Sound of Leadership podcast helps us to navigate this difficult situation. How to know if it’s just you Test the waters, but be careful How to address it When you decide to talk, leave the emotion out of it Frame the business concern, not you as the victim Don’t take it personally Don’t speak for others You are not going to change your boss It’s not your place to get coaching for your boss Nothing you will do will likely change your boss’s behavior If you can accept that, what do you want to do? If it’s really a business issue, give the feedback Avoid being attached to the outcome Once the feedback is given, let it go Rehearse the feedback with someone trusted before you give it What to do when the boss is chaotic Calm down with someone who is chaotic Take tons of notes Get clear agreements When they change something, don’t take it personally Consider sending a note afterwards to summarize what is said How to deal with the narcissist Be a good audience and ask how you can help them to succeed “Narcissists crave attention and there’s not enough room in the spotlight for both of you.” -Tom Henschel “With narcissists, in order to succeed with them, you need to not compete with them.” -Tom Henschel Have support outside of work too, since you won’t get it from your boss When you can do it honestly, throw them a bone Always approach situations with collaboration and support What do you do with the screamer? Don’t engage, wait it out Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.