17. I Could Be Stella

Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases and words. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. The music is called Angelino by Blue Dot. Hello, Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Today, I Could Be Stella. Following the adage or saying, when in Rome, has been a guiding principle throughout my life. My mother was the first person to teach me this. This saying has come in handy, especially when I don’t know what to do or how I am expected to act.  Then again, I frequently think about what is expected of me and take a quick detour if it doesn’t sit right. At least you know. This was the case last week. The waiting room, to my surprise, had more chairs than patients. I was ready for my yearly eye check-up. The clinic was divided into stages, all of which had waiting areas. Some waiting areas were not clearly marked. The waiting areas overlapped. This was confusing, but I had my book with me, so if I made a mistake, I would not have to worry about waiting and staring at my phone or social media. I had someone else’s words to amuse myself. I sat down in the first waiting area, which corresponded to the first stage. No sooner had I opened my book than someone said Stella in my general direction. When I looked up from my book, puzzled, the man repeated the name Stella, convinced I was she.  I imagined saying yes, I’m Stella. I could be Stella. I wonder what kind of life Stella has. Well, for starters, she was called before me, which is a perk. Stella gets her eyes checked first. Stella has people calling her name. I bet Stella lives up to her name; you know who I am talking about. Stella Kowalski from A Streetcar Named Desire. I bet Stella is married to Stanley. In the play, he is not a great guy to be married to; he has fits of rage, and he is violent. Stella gets away from him just long enough for him to cry out her name, getting her to come back. It seems easy enough. Stella has a sister, Blanche DuBois. Stella believes Stanley over Blanche and agrees to send her to a mental institution. That never sat right with me.  Stella was absent from the waiting room. After thinking about all these things, I decided I would not and could not be Stella. I might play her one day; I might read a few lines. I might muse about her and about being her, just for one day, maybe just a few hours, while I get my eyes checked before I was meant to. Stella was absent from the waiting room. Where was she? Was there a Stanly in her life keeping her from going to a doctor’s appointment? I hope not. Still no Stella.  No, I could not be Stella. At least, I hope not. What had happened to Stella to become a Stanely appendage? Was she raised that way? Maybe the hardships she had lived throughout her life made her cling to the only thing or person who would not let her go either. This is not a justification, it is just an explanation.  Still no Stella. No, I won’t become Stella for a moment, not to skip a place in line, not even if I am the next person and,  you know that other saying, no harm, no foul. But I would know. Even if in the eyes of that man in the waiting room, I looked, smelled, and sounded like Stella. I could see it in his eyes; he was certain Stella and I were one and the same. It was hot enough, just like in Street Car. It has been a helluva week. We will remember the heatwave. That must have made that man think I was Stella. Any woman trapped by the same heat could be mistaken for her. <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LlNPh1nzS0