17. “I think he should pay for everything because he’s the man”

Monique is very open with what she wants in a relationship. “I always expected that fairytale love, the guy pays for everything, the guy opens the door, the guy waits to kiss me at the end of the night...” But her boyfriend, Pablo, disagrees. He feels taken advantage of. He shares the story of Monique ordering a $10 soup in a restaurant when he wasn’t even eating, then both of them staring at the bill to see who would pay for it. Their beliefs come from their upbringing and very specific personal experiences. For Monique, she believes Pablo should pay because of how she was raised. At one point, she says it’s his job to pursue her. Pablo wants to split things “fairly” down the middle, saying he wants a “partner.” Their opposing money lenses lead to awkward exchanges at restaurants when the check arrives. For Monique, him paying for a $10 soup is symbolic of being “taken care of.” Pablo doesn’t think it’s fair. He says he would prefer she did the “fake check dance” before he steps up to “be the gentleman.” How many invisible scripts can you spot? What does your reaction to the situation say about your relationship with money?   I walked into this episode pretty confident about what would happen. I was wrong. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.