So Matt, this is my idea for an episode and I'm gonna admit you've been kind of against this. Yeah, not outright against this. Just confused Why are you confused? Yeah, not angry.
Just confused. Well, let me I don't totally know what we're doing I mean let me lay it out for me. Okay here on the podcast we research all kinds of stuff and sometimes when we delve into your area Which is history sure we have like actual first-hand accounts of what's going on and that is through these time travelers that show up from time to time on the podcast called Barnacles and testicles. Yep So my proposal you know how back in the 90s when there would be like a I don't know a throwback show and they'd be like all right Well, you remember that time that and then the heart music would play and then they go to the heart and it gets all vignette and wavy Yeah, exactly and then they go back and then they look at what actually happened back then you know talking about yeah That's a good way to get a super discounted episode that have it still count But here's the thing though what I mean this could be a super discounted episode if you think about it that way But Barnacles and testicles have showed up a lot and a lot of people probably don't know who they are and I think it's important And also I have a proposal for you and I think I think this is a great proposal So just straight up you know how you and I kind of want to restructure like the economics of how no dumb questions work like we're You know sponsorships all the things and you and I are wanting to focus more towards the patreon model correct?
Yes ads are weird I mean it's in the world ads are weird right now things are changing and what isn't changing or what keeps changing for the better Is that people like certain things and then I like the people who like the stuff that I make and we enjoy hanging out? And we want to so the patreon model seems to make a lot of sense it's timeless it does it does and so this is my proposal So we've created these stickers for barnacles and testicles. Yeah, they look good Yeah My proposal is we kind of use this whole episode as a way to promote supporting the whole podcast on patreon in exchange for promoting that And people that sign up or whatever they get stickers they get the barnacles and testicles stickers, which are amazing. Do you like them?
Oh, absolutely. They're fantastic. I didn't think about how the Greek names classic popular Greek names I might add barnacles and testicles would look spelled out in English at first It just and then actually seeing that I go faud I made an audible gasp when I saw the stickers both at how great the stickers look but also seeing barnacles and testicles spelled out It took my mind to certain places and I worry that if people put the stickers on things it's gonna initiate conversations Well, that's kind of the point the point is you get to put I mean the fact that I mean first of all the act of making the stickers with that Whatever you use so we sat down and we spent on time to AI and we're like a sticker of two Greek dudes and that didn't work Not the right input did not work Let's just leave that right there and then we changed it and then we changed it We would have loved that sticker no they wouldn't have but then after that we ended up with these two They look like chiseled like awesome powerful men And I think they're incredible and I think it's awesome and the concept of having a sticker that says testicles on it And then giving that out to people and then people potentially misreading that and then being chastised like why would you say that? This is clearly the Greek time traveler testicles who embarks on magical journeys with his friend barnacles as they uncover the purposes of education and joy Yeah, exactly and so my proposal is that we use this episode as like a throwback episode because there was somebody that Let this a comment and they said hey, and I'm just gonna read directly from the comment They said has anyone kept up tally of all the episodes in which these two have made an appearance And the answer is yes, someone has and that someone is me.
Would you like me to tell you that episode really? Yes? Yes, I would like to tell me the episodes well, let me see which ones I can remember well Here's a question before you say this there's a question So someone brings up a you know how like when you watch the Star Wars episodes It's like what order should you watch them in or if you read the Chronicles of Narnia? Should you read magicians nephew before language in the wardrobe you know I'm talking about okay?
Yeah, the question is what order should we go on this little adventure together? We have a total of five episodes in which our two fearless time travelers show up So the first question before you start trying to figure all this out is should we listen to these in chronological order through their time traveling? Or should we listen to these in chronological order as we go through the podcast because I don't know if you know this But we've been doing this for a very very long time like way back at episode 21 is the first time What we met barnacles and testicles and we learned their names live on the air as we were recording it because that just happened instantly So what do you think that is true? There was absolutely no planning and they went into that one so that's just the unfortunate thing No, I think I think we should go in the order of the podcast not chronologically in order of what time they traveled to you think so Yeah, cuz there's probably compounding stuff in there narratively I would think okay you go out I mean the whole point is to is to reset it all and bring everybody up to speed on the barnacles and testicles thing and then you do it out of Order of the podcast there could be inside jokes or something that compound off of the last one that we miss We have to go in the order of the podcast.
There's no yeah It's the only way they can be done okay, well I accept that I think you don't try to guess them all right now I think we go through and you try to guess them as we you know Okay, I definitely know what the first one is yeah, how could you not okay? What was the first one is the dial of destiny episode dial of destiny what that's what they called it in the Indiana Jones movie But it's the anti-kithra mechanism the anti-kithra the new that new Indiana Jones was not new anymore But the newest Indiana Jones movie they go looking for the anti-kithra mechanism. Do you really yeah? That's odd because we know I didn't watch it at all, but yeah Well, I was back in Nazi times or something or the 60s.
Oh, I didn't watch the movie I don't know people just told me that that's what the dial of destiny is I think it's probably true got it Okay, so what is the anti-kithra mechanism? It's a primitive computer that it doesn't make any sense that it would exist in ancient Greece But it was found in an ancient Greek shipwreck or maybe it was a Roman ship in Greece I don't remember the exact details, but some sponge divers were looking for presumably sponges Hundred years ago something like that and one of those sponge divers if I recall correctly saw one of the oh, I bet This is how we got it Yeah, one of the barnacle encrusted statues of a person just looking up at him and freaked him out and he quit worrying about sponges And he started worrying about who that person was down there with him Yeah, and then they went and excavated the whole site and there's crazy stuff in there But most notably most notably what they found the anti-kithra mechanism. They did primitive computer that we don't know what it does I have a thing that's pretty I don't know it's pretty sad news I've got a couple of comments here, and I want to I want to read these for you And I just want to see what your thoughts are in this okay, so first comment says this for those that are not aware Barnacles and testicles is not who they say they are it's actually Matt and Dustin the acting is so spot on that I never realized it was only until I had the epiphany that they don't have audio recording capabilities that far from the past Only then did I come up to the conclusion that it must be them and they were pretending the whole time. I've never felt so betrayed I hope this doesn't ruin anything for anyone.
What would you say to that? Right that we've been faking this the entire time, you know Can somebody say that doesn't even sound like no, I don't even have an accent No, I have the Omaha, Nebraska Midwest English accent Yeah, which is non accent according to people who study these things you have the slightest hint of a southern accent No, you're like one of those mutants or X men the superheroes whose powers amplify other superheroes But that's all they really do and your southern accent vanishes when we hang out but becomes very intense when you're driving down the road And we're talking you're like hang on a second. I gotta I gotta talk to this guy one moment We'll get back to planning this out. I'm so sorry Matthew one moment, please roll down window What's up there skater?
You're doing you mean pigs? All right on man, you be good. You be good all right now Okay, so the quarterly report that we were looking at started on that I think we need to get that turned in no later than We'll see that in a data point because I would say that our travelers barnacles and testicles don't have our accents And so I think that is a right. Yeah, it's a counterpoint.
So anyway, the first time we saw barnacles and testing we have an accent episode 21 The anti-kithero mechanism. I think we should just kind of harp back and then hear that you down with that Absolutely and remember I tend to have accents when you don't have accent Yeah, this was a cassette that we found and it's interesting because they were discussing all kinds of things like the type of wood That the ship was made out of which is how we knew if it was Roman or Greek anyway, let's go listen right How would we know that right you and me we wouldn't know that so here First time we met barnacles and testicles episode 21 here we go Hey Barnacles Barnacles hail testicles. How goes the voyage? It's good.
I'm having problems with my mechanism over here I wouldn't know the first thing about your mechanism, and I'm sorry. I can't help you right now I'm too busy sculpting. Why are you sculpting on a ship Barnacles? We have things to do places to go I'm just working with this very complicated mechanism crafted from brass plates because testicles the seas are so calm That it seemed like perfect conditions for precise sculpting heart.
What is that on the horizon? Heart I dare not say let me just consult my overly complicated device that I have brought along on this voyage I felt so confident in our plan given the season and our knowledge of trade wins in this particular year in antiquity That's right. This is a common trade for it. Oh snap.
It's getting bad. What do we do? I am also concerned and fear that we may perish But an additional concern is what will be the fate of this bounty that we carry back possibly for the dictator Sulla if this is the year 75 BC or possibly for Julius Caesar if this is somewhat later scholars disagree I'm afraid hold me Barnacles the main mast has just snapped off. Why we have the strongest elm.
I choose instead to hold on to the sculpture It's priceless Heart the ship is breaking up. Let's please. What do we do? What do we do?
This is goodbye. Oh, I just figured it out I entered the longitude wrong in my mechanism. Goodbye Barnacles Curse curse you and curse your foolhardy dependence on science and math and numbers only humanities could have saved us from this tragedy I pray that one day a team of restorationists will reassemble the perfect sculpture that I have put together here No one person could get this right. I hope it's at least a 50-year process and that one day it makes the Greek people proud Alright, so I mean clearly it's not us you heard that right right we can just put that to rest for the rest of the episode Obviously, this is real is a funny comment and it made me laugh a lot Okay, but also it made me angry.
Yeah, whoever that was I know because of how not true it is Okay, so clearly not true that was a thing that was a thing that we discovered together like we had the these because obviously like if They would take recording devices with them or something. I don't know so anyway, right? They do have a technology. Yeah, and okay dude right now Just try to do that just try to do that accent right now Tell me about what they found down there with the sponge diving with that accent that was in that ancient recording.
Oh, okay Yeah, I got it. It's gonna be hard for my southern. Hey y'all. I found a statue and or you're working on a statue That's you then work see that work.
No, you didn't that's not how that guy sounded people can go back and listen to it again Not at all. There's an obvious difference Okay, so so let's go to then the next time we met our fearless time travelers I will remind everybody that the whole point of this episode is to remind everybody they can get a sticker at patreon.com Slash no dumb questions you get the barnacles and testicles sticker if you support there we will literally send you a sticker like we will May not literally happen. I have to say how much do they have to support for to get the sticker? What's the sticker level doesn't matter everything's a sticker level?
Oh my goodness. You're supporting that no dumb questions on patreon You're getting sticker sparkles and testicles. Okay, do you happen to remember whether that economically makes sense for us? Did we even look into the potential ramifications of sending it to literally everyone?
No, no we didn't we haven't done that math That's reckless. What's very reckless. All right, so you said it's just one sticker that shows the two of them Right, it's a one sticker. No, it's two stickers man.
Two stickers. Oh my goodness. Yeah, do you happen to remember the second time? We met our time traveling France I'm not sure I have a guess on the second time we met them.
I can remember other times But I don't know I don't know what was the second time. I'll give you a hint They were in a battle at the time. I'll read this one. Oh, they were fighting the red Baron.
What yes? You're fighting the red Baron. Yeah, and uh one comment that I read about this This was some data that someone submitted as yet another reason to say that it possibly has been faked I'm gonna let you dispel of this disinformation someone says that Barnacles refers to it as World War one instead of the Great War in the recording and I'm just what what rebuttal well I guess first we should just listen to it and make sure that actually happened and then we can dispel it afterwards Except I'll get you yeah, I'm ready to give it a listen. Okay.
Cool. This is episode 64 the red Baron. Here we go Hey tester clays. Yeah, yeah, I'm on a clays.
Well one is the worst Why would you ever say that? Well in addition to the trench warfare the mustard gas in the disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah Understand this is all disappointing and true but what your point it is the border Bottom sure. I mean here we are the 24th machine done company part of the Australian fourth division station in the Som Valley somewhere in France We shipped out from Sydney on the 20th October before the H.
May at Port Lincoln. What does H. M. A T stand for anyway?
I've had a bit of HMS, but what is H. M. A T? These major seats Australian transport obviously obviously and now here We sit on April 21st 1918 supposedly supporting the Canadian and British aerial squadrons from the ground Sure featuring the antiquated but nimble soft with pop and it's larger and more durable younger cousin the iconic soft with camel But nothing ever happens, mate We just stare at the empty sky and dream of home We helplessly wait out of conflict common blokes like you and I can never hope to understand one that's being waged over Jingoistic territorial squabbles left over from a bygone age of early modern European expansionism Deposterously satisfied egos of long dead wig and leotard wearing noblemen.
Do they really wear leotards? They used to crocky I could really go for a fistful of grandma's Vegemite right about now. Oh, I hear that Hey, testically always like mate What's that approaching from the sky in the direction of Rick and Shenstank stag airstrip in the Easter occupied France? Boining a German fighter squadron and they're on the prowl.
How can you tell Barnacles? Isn't it obvious if I am those new hypermaneuverable dr1 Troy planes? Oh the dry deckers D.R meaning dries in 300 German three wings meaning dry deck. It was the name of that Dutch chap that's responsible for these lovely chemists Anthony I'm sorry mate.
My ears must have been ringing Anthony who Anthony A man so proud of his death dealing aerial engineering masterpieces that he named his company and his planes after himself That's the dr1 for short. Are you not hearing that? Every time you say f***er, there's a high-pitched squeal that makes it impossible for me to hear what you're saying. Well now I just heard it on yours.
Really? Oh, Bonnie you're right testically. It hurts my ears and it takes me out of the moment Also those German planes aren't going to be in range for long. Do you think we should fire on them, Barnacles?
Well, ideally yes, but first that's sound and also why do you suddenly sound British? I don't Right, maybe try spelling it spell f***er. Alright then if oh KKE-R Do you want to try planes? See?
No B. Do it again. But this time say the word. F***er.
Well ain't that fascinating. Hang on. What's this? There's one German plane separated from the others.
You see me? It can't be the distinctive deep red the unmistakable German cross their flawless aerial maneuvering those perfect cheekbones have movie star charisma Radiating from the cockpit his mom was an actress. Did you not know that I wasn't aware? But I could certainly see how there's a fantastic jeans.
It's Manfred von Richtofen the red Baron himself When it looks like he's hot on the tail of Canadian pilot Lieutenant Wilfred May of number 209 squadron Royal Air Force That's right, Barnacles. He goes by the nickname of WAP. Oh wait a minute that kid's a novice He's got no chance against the Baron. Maybe we should use one of these tin-barreled water-cooled 303 caliber Because machine guns to help him out.
I suppose that's why they're here. But wait what's this? It looks like May's flight commander Captain Arthur Roy Brown from Canada is falling in behind Rick Delfin Which makes sense because May and Brown were old friends from school. Alright then.
How do we shoot that? Good damn well I know these are the early days of anti-aircraft targeting But if my hunch is right mate, all we have to do is lead the aircraft just a little bit in front of it Put up a wall of bullets and let Rick token fly into it. We don't do the work He does you don't even have to pan with the plane. Maybe in some far off this the future We might come up with some kind of mechanized ranging thing, but now I think this might work I'm quite sure that'll be completely unnecessary my friend.
This is the war to end all wars Absolutely after this we'll only use technology to help people hmm almost there lining it up almost there. I'm on it sir Sir I can't focus there's too much noise what's going on here? I have it's sat in Cedric Hopkins firing from the gun next to us at eight just a minute Poppins quit making all their achit. We're trying to aim over here Yeah, quit making all the racket quit trying to aim by the soon to be ghost of Australia's fourth prime minister George Houston Reed Who was a member of a free trade party and who served from 18 August in 1904 to 5 July 19 0 5 pop guns has done it the barons going down look mate wait a minute I just heard someone trying to get credit to Canadian pilot Captain Brown that's ridiculous Brown fell back and there wasn't a plane within a mile when Rick often got hit and clearly the Bullet that struck him impacted his body in an upward trajectory which strongly supports my theory that he was hit by a surface to Antiaircraft fire and not a rival plane which means it would be really awful if the plane was given credit Posthumously in history and nobody challenged it especially us from the ground well put and timely my friend wait He's just made a hasty but controlled landing in a field on a hill near Bray Corby Road And it looks like Australian gunner George Ridgeway is the first one on the scene Hey Ridgeway is he alive man?
Is he alive? I want to shake his hand? He survived the crash let's go talk to him mr. Red Baron Good grief man.
This has been such an emotional roller coaster I'm simultaneously overjoyed that I close personal friend Sergeant Cedric Hopkins just defeated our most dreadful foe and also profoundly Sovid to have been witness to the final flight of that majestic angel warrior Prince may he rest in pace may he rest in pace Hey, let's go rip some stuff off his plane and see if we can sell it back home. I mean That was that recording from the Red Baron episode 64. Did you hear the great war comment in there? Did you hear that?
Yeah, I wasn't troubled by it at all when you have time travelers who clearly have one seen so much They're gonna have a little better sense of the future and where things are headed I think pretty clearly even from that position on the battlefield somebody with that kind of historical awareness was able to look at things They're like what is the actual off ramp here? The allies are gonna want to charge all kinds of reparations to Germany. Yeah, that's gonna light a historical fuse It's definitely gonna go off again in 15 or 20 years. There's clearly going to be a second round of this Let's just call it what it's gonna be now.
Yeah, all I heard was historical realism Yeah, I mean it's just very prescient knowledgeable individuals and the fact that they probably predicted you know what after this what will be World War 1 ends we're probably gonna drag the same train car that we signed the treaty and we're gonna drag it back out We're gonna start things off for two, right? What do you think so probably? Yeah, that's how it came off to me That's how it read to me. I didn't even cross my mind to be offended by that.
Yeah, okay I'm sorry Matt some people that seems super nitpicky. It really does to me as well So yeah, I'm still in the camp that this is all real so again Patreon.com slash note in questions trying to redo the economics of the podcast here. If you want stickers That's how you do that. Do you happen to remember the next time we saw our fearless travelers?
No, I don't think I have a guess. I think I would need another hint. I'll give you a hint It had something to do with hiding treasure. Yep.
Yep. Hiding treasure. Yeah. Yeah.
It sounds really good Yeah, hiding treasure like near a tree hiding treasure near a tree. It was episode 88 How do I not have this? I I don't know I've listened to our entire podcast, but I don't have it Okay, it has to do with some documents like some documents that that maybe articulate where things may have been hidden among other things That's a Dead Sea. Yeah, the Dead Sea Scrolls Dead Sea Scrolls, right?
Yeah, wow. What am I doing? Oh, yeah And this recording well I mean the most embarrassing part about me forgetting is what this recording that we introduced has done to the world of classical studies Jewish studies biblical studies I mean revolutionized people's understanding of the link between the Old Testament New Testament the intertestamental period the Essene communities that lived in The wilderness yeah during that time. It's been an absolute game changer for everything It's I'm embarrassed that it slipped my mind I know I mean this one recording that we found has totally changed archaeology in the area perhaps even more than the Dead Sea Scrolls themselves Yes, in a lot of ways it could could so yeah, let's let's go back and listen to our time-traveling heroes here Let's see what they have to say Barnacles, what are you doing?
Hark, Veritestically, I'm putting these important Bible documents in this cave I assume you're doing this because the bar cook was revolt has gone awry and the Romans are running rough shot over everything And they're about to come here next and we're assuming that we're gonna be running out of this village here Qumran Is that the deal? I mean in I don't all of my time here at this Essene compound I have never in all my life built this just down things just don't feel like it's going great Is it are you feeling the same thing? This is an incredibly depressing time in our history and it feels like the only thing we can do is cut bait and hope to return later I don't know your center tell me you're doing something. What are you doing?
I'm what's with the jars? I'm rapping. What did you get the jars made this dude? That's all of our jelly jars where if you Carl made all of them He made extras so that we could still take jelly with us Larry has those he's already left And I got the extra ones from Carl and I'm just putting these these Bible scripts in there dude real quick First of all, I'll get back to what you put in the jars, but like look at your robe there What dude?
You know our supreme leader the teacher of righteousness does not like nakedness to be shown look right there Look what's hanging out right there. You're looking in the gap look at it's because of how you're putting your head You're gonna get no big days from a normal angle. You're gonna get 30 days in here putting Bible suppose I'm not taking 30 days. I'll give you 10.
I'm doing this for you. You know what the community rule book says you know this I'm your friend barnacles. I'm telling you cover up your nakedness. Okay, are we done with this?
Are we done with this and I'm telling you that nobody would have seen my nakedness if you weren't nosing around in this Bible Earn cave that I'm working in it's down. It's down there by your knee look that right that's what I'm talking about How can it yeah roll it up? Okay, cool. All right, so here's the deal now that we've got that addressed What are you putting in the clay pots or jelly jars?
What are you putting in here? I'm putting in all of the precious documents that we want to preserve for posterity sake And I thought the best place to put these would be in cave seven. What's in there? Well, you get the robot Robot's important I've got copies of our rules in case people forget some of those yeah like the nakedness one got it And I've got these commentaries on the book of Genesis because people want to know what we thought about that later Yeah And I've got all of my favorite horoscopes that didn't warn me that my supposed friend was gonna come in and Make fun of my slightly visible butt crack while I was putting these Bible things and earns in a cave privately What about the treasure map?
Do you throw that in there? You mean the copper one? Yeah the copper one did you put it in there? Yeah, I got it right here with me.
I want to hide it with all this other stuff And if somebody finds the copper one that's like one password if somebody gets that they get all our stuff We got to be smarter with this one. Okay, so let me look at it here. Hand it here. Let me see it Just it's my dude.
Just let me touch the copper. Let's see. I've got it. Okay.
I've got it. Okay now look here Let's like oh dude. How are we gonna identify where all the treasure is? I forgot when they wrote this okay?
Let me see the trees. Okay cool got the trees the river. Okay. Got it.
Dude. This is everything Yeah, if somebody finds this dude, why are we leaving this? This is like look two gold bars under the tree Why would we leave this here? Why don't we just take this with us the gold is super heavy and we have to get out of here and also If only some of us come back later, you know what the truth is testically is none of this makes any sense at all But I just really wanted to do it I read about it in a weekly reader and it seemed like it'd be a super fun thing to try to imitate So I made a little treasure hunt and I hid all of the things from our treasury and now it's too late And there's no way to undo it So we just have to find somewhere to hide the copper scroll Well, the thing that I'm really proud of you here is that you identified the locations of all the treasures based on like trees and things That will most certainly never go anywhere, especially over a long period of time I know right yeah that tree's gonna always be there So everybody's gonna know where the gold is if they find the copper scroll all about it.
Yeah, yeah or the well You can't take down a well. You can't it's genius. It's making me nervous with you having this girl Can I please just could I please have a scroll back? Yeah, here you go.
Here read a couple more real quick I only read the top view was it the last few say there Yeah, I'll read them to you But only if you promise not to tell anybody because I want this stuff later go ahead read it Okay, and in the canal which ends in it there are ten talents. You know the canal, right? No, I don't actually well Hopefully somebody who's more imaginative than you finds this Sunday Here's one that I'm gonna keep in the cave of the old washers house on the third platform 65 gold bars like legit No, the washers house. No, I don't I mean surely the washers gonna live there for hundreds of years Nobody will ever know that places anything other than the washers house Right, and it's on the third platform So just even if they build additional platforms later Just remember which the first one was and then count up from there to three and that's where you're gonna find all that gold It's on the third platform.
What else do they say? That makes sense. Yeah, what else do they say? Well, I can tell you this according to this scroll here Somebody later is gonna find 40 talents of silver in the hole of the waterproof refuge in going down towards the left three qubits above the bottom 40 talents of silver man.
They spread this out man. They spread this out. Did they tell you what to write all this? Is that how this went down?
Yeah, everybody got to hide one and write their own clue I think as it went along people were maybe just trying to make it trickier than the one before I mean some people wrote down some little Greek symbols here, but I don't know how those clues help with anything I'm just hoping that we can just remember and get them all back later. They're 64 of these in total Hold on. Wait dude. I just uh, okay.
Talent of silver. That's about 33 kilowatt. Okay. We have to get out of the skit because I just googled some stuff That's wild.
Isn't it? That's wild. I'm just so glad that we have these. I mean, it's a treasure.
Yeah Yeah, I mean, that's the real treasure, isn't it? Yeah, just to revisit whatever the copper scroll points do it's these recordings Yeah, no, I mean, it's as an eye to me to think that somebody would think these are faked I'm a little upset, but I mean we live in a disinformation age, right? And so that's part of the deal. Yeah, we do a low integrity age where people just go on the internet and say anything You know try to score a little bit of popularity or feel important.
Yeah, I've taken shots a really legitimate history That's encouraged a lot of people like that. I don't get it. I don't get it sad really Matt remind you why we're playing all these Why are we doing this? The thing is that we're trying to shift the economic model of the podcast from being super dependent on the ever Changing world of YouTube and podcast marketing to being more dependent on the rock solid foundation of listener support So we've been been urging people to consider supporting the program at patreon.com slash know them questions And I think there was an incentive, right?
Yeah, the stickers and to be clear We've decided this is the best way to do this like this makes sense to people, right? Yeah, we had several meetings and ultimately this seemed like the best idea and by several meetings I mean we turned on these microphones a few minutes ago I think now would be a good time to tell people the other thing that's been happening that's happening in the reverse way I think that is medically private information. No, not that one Not that one the fact that we've gone back through the back catalog and the beautiful thing about having RSS feed is that We can go back and download our files and we can change them And so the beautiful thing about that is where there used to be an ad slot that may not really apply anymore We've gone back and we've we've been given some information from the future and we've decided to put those we have time travelers going in the other Direction they don't have names though. Do they I think they do and I think I know them actually by heart I think it's Matt Whitman and Dustin Sandlin from the future.
That's right from the future though Yeah, so how does this work just so people that may or may not be going back through the back catalog and trying to figure this out? And it may or may not be if people are a scavenger hunt that we may have put inside the the old episodes How would they find these? Yeah, I guess what you would do is you just go back to and then you'd listen to old episodes And in a lot of those places where you get the little music thing that means it's ad time After that, it's not gonna be what you thought it's not gonna be what it used to be It's gonna be a message from the future about how earth and civilization and society has played out and About what would be the only ways that anybody could possibly send help into the future to solve all of the crises that society Will one day face and to avoid the bleak possible outcomes? There's just there's gonna be if I recall correctly from the time travel recording There's gonna be one primary suggestion for how to solve the potential bleak outcome of the future and make it right once again I remember I think so and what's so odd is that there are so many different alternate timelines So many that future Matt and Dustin experience It's almost like there's a couple of points where something changes in the present and it creates this flicker butterfly effect where like different things Happened and so you get to hear it's I was kind of shocked when we were given this from future Matt and Dustin via that really strange Communication method that we decided not to talk about anymore.
I think it's interesting. Yeah, I've been told that that's really bad Yeah, communicate with your past to selves Yeah And maybe that's why our future selves just went and edited the back catalog was to get the messages to us and everyone yeah without causing an Implosion of the space time continuum, but I mean it works. I've heard them myself. Yeah, okay sad to hear about how things turned out But I'm hopeful that it could be changed.
Yeah, okay, so there's that where we at here So so we've done the Antikyther mechanism. Yeah, we've listened to the recordings from the red baron both barnacles and testicles We've checked out the Dead Sea Scrolls there. Can you think of the next thing where barnacles and testicles show up? I can think of one more thing where they show up, but not to yeah No, no, I don't know you got me Okay, so this is what's happening we for it We forgot the next episode if this was on it was Julius Caesar and so we went back and played it and we got into a Because how stupid it is all right, so so Matt episode 155 Julius Caesar Why do you please get it?
So we're gonna play barnacles and testicles read from the 12 tables, which what were the 12? What were the 12 tables? And it's the foundational law of the ancient Roman Republic or 12 tables they covered things Alright, here we go. It's lives.
It's lives lives Roman lives here we go Park fair testicles greetings monocles what carries to thou in thy hands it is the 12 tables the foundational documents of our Republic The finest tables if there were 13th I would just throw it in the trash because there only needs to be 12. Oh, yes Fair bonicoles would you like for me to read from the tables for you is Jupiter high God overall creation of course By Romulus's nipple suckleage. I will now read table five Inheritance and guardianship Women even though they are a full age because of their levity of mind shall be under guardianship except Vestal virgins who shall be free from guardianship as well It should be for vestal virgins a fine law from a fine table read by a fine friend Bonicles I would love it if thou would read from table six for me It would be my great delight if only I had table six on my person However, since I'm only carrying table eight I shall have to read from it To late law for if one commits an outrage against another the penalty shall be twenty five asses It actually says that Yes, 20 the numbers shall be twenty five not twenty four or twenty six twenty six would be far too many asses It would be that would that would create an outrage and what think is now about a penalty of 24 asses not enough? Not enough clearly one asked too few Testicles what is to thou read to me from table ten?
I would love to do that table ten the sacred law What a dead person shall not be buried or burned in the city There are ten laws within table ten and furthermore I think we can both agree that after such a dead person is not buried or burned in the city that that dead person's bones Shall not be collected that one may make a second funeral unless of course an exception is for death and battle on foreign soil Naturally Do the if there were thirteen tables I would throw it in the trash. Oh, you're funny, dude. You're genuinely funny. Okay.
There you go So what we've got is just to remind everybody what are we doing? Why are we doing this? First of all? Why are you even listening to this?
Do you realize how deep down the rabbit hole you have to be for this to be funny? I don't know it's pretty funny. I bet somebody else who's listening right now is sweating just like I am I bet somebody else do you think this kind of crap is actually funny and they are crying a tiny bit too? I'm crying as well.
Okay, so this is hilarious I guess I would like to say thank you for letting us do this because it brings genuine joy to my life I really enjoy this and yeah, I'm grateful that you let us do this same the idea here If you're into this sort of thing and you want to support this you can go to patreon.com slash netting questions We're gonna literally send you a sticker that says testicles on it But you know to pronounce testicles this is barnacles on it But you know to pronounce it barnacles because you know what's up So really good stickers you just said if you're into this sort of thing like this is a sort of thing It's a thing. Yeah, it's certainly a thing. It's singular in but I don't know what category that goes into yeah. Yeah, well.
Thank you Do you happen to remember the last episode where barnacles and testicles have shown up thus far in the skit or in the podcast? It's the last episode of boner in the name it does it does so what is it? I knew it It's the Merkles boner episode episode 159. I mean now I think if you named it you'd call it Merkles mistake But back then a lot of people called a really bone-headed mistake in front of people of boner Yeah, and so it just I think as a gesture of respect obviously on our part toward the people of the past So as not to engage in chronological snobbery, we thought it best to use the terminology they would use in titling our episode Yeah, yeah, and so I think there's a lot of things in this episode where I mean Barnacles and testicles they're savvy man Like one thing that I am most impressed about these two when they go somewhere is they can just blend in Like they just know what to do.
You know what was the saying when in Rome gather? No moss, isn't that it? No, oh not at all. Is it not?
What is it? There's several no there are several words in there that are part of saying so okay got it All right, so if if you would like to if you would like to listen to this here we go episode 159 merkles boner Let's see what barnacles and testicles are up to and to be clear. Merkles boner was a baseball mistake, right? Yeah, the terrible mistake involving baseball that was very costly for a certain baseball team If you want to understand the whole thing you're just gonna have to listen to the whole episode But anyway, let's uh, let's see what they did here I say to you Barnacles what a wonderful day for a sporting event Who doesn't love the polo grounds in september for a fine game of baseball?
Why are we playing on polo grounds and why do we have weird cockney accents even though we live in New York? Well, obviously we live in an era when diversion and fun is a public matter of behavior on a weekday afternoon is just becoming acceptable socially And so there aren't many places to play these sports, but gradually I anticipate these cathedrals to entertainment We'll pick up in popularity around the world for now. You'll just have to Repurpose the ones we have for multiple sports. That's a great point, boner clays.
One thing that I love is that here in 1908 The world is full of peace and I I first I foresee that in the near future sporting events will be the largest gatherings of humans ever assembled I would want you agree. I anticipate centuries of peace We've finally achieved human enlightenment and with all of the technological advances we bask in today I can only imagine that due to the spirit of brotherhood that permeates this great world that we shall only use those inventions for the next hundred years to make each other better I say is that is that the rookie up to bat here? It's here at the end of the game. I I was hoping we could go get a snow cone afterwards But what's this chap's name?
I forget Fred Merkel demonstrates a lot of promise Okay nerves of steel infinitely focused why here's the pitch now and a base hit for Merkel Oh good for him that puts runners on the corners. This is getting interesting. Oh, this could be the end of the game here Looks like our fine team is going to win and this would take us one step closer to that ever so desirable pennant I'm sorry. I gotta gather myself.
I don't know what to do. Oh, look it's a hot dog man hot dogs are a new thing that I enjoy We know see here. Would you like a winner? We would take we know see I would like it.
Thank you chap. Yep. Yep. Here you go Here's your nickel.
Yeah, all right. All right, man. I cheers cheers to baseball in september Testically. Let us knock we know yeah here.
Let's tap them together as if they're there you go. There you go. All right. All right.
These are great mustard That's just wonderful. All right, so um, let's get this game over and let's get back home so we can breathe cold dust or whatever it is we do at our house My fair testicles I must say these ballpark weiners are especially delicious today. No doubt made from 100 beef Okay, whatever. All right, so we've got shots now Al Bradwell up to bat now I say if he hits this next pitch from feistor then we might be done for the day my fair barnacles This might be it a bine hitter.
I'm hopeful. All right. Here's the pitch in the wind up in the oh, he drilled it an apparent single into center field Yes and an apparent victory for the home team. Oh, there's mccormics charge the field with others.
McCormics running home. There is a giant's 2-1 victory That is fantastic. I'm so excited about this. This is a shout.
I love being a part of the infield mob This is the gentleman. Pusar to all of us. Who's are let's do what is customary in our time and let's walk across home plate across the field and exit Out center field. Don't you say absolutely as though we had scored ourselves.
Let's do this. Okay. Oh, what what's happening? It looks like cubs second baseman Johnny ever's is seeing an opportunity for an odd rule to be enforced Another absurdity this game is over.
He seems to be shouting to centerfield or sally Hoffman. What's he doing? He's throwing base. He's throwing the ball.
What? Unfortunately our first base coach Joe McGinady intercepted that ball and did what he should do which is throw it effortlessly into the face. Yes exactly. Oh, what?
He's retrieved ever as we're apparently a retrieve the ball and is marching towards his touch second base Can't retrieve a ball once it's been hurled into the stands by a first base coach. This is outrage It appears that umpires emcee and ode are consulting each other. What is to consult about? Here we are in the middle of the field with our wieners and the game is over gentlemen.
The game is over. Is it possible that friend Merkel has made a mistake? Hold hold hold. I've got the baseball rule books updated for 1908 here in my pocket.
I'm searching section 208.1. Oh dear. It's literally that section isn't it? Oh dear.
What what has happened? According to the rules Fred Merkel's failure to touch second base Does indeed result in an out even after play seems to have concluded as much as I hate to admit it The run shall not be counted and we shan't be able to claim victory this day. No No It's racist fish. It is hit him with your case.
It's ruled Merkel out in second. They've undone the result This is an incredible boner that has been made the worst of bonus Merkel from now on will only be known in history for this boner. Can you imagine this will be on the front page of the news tomorrow? That's the hugest boner.
I can even imagine they will be talking about this boner in future forms of media yet imagined I cannot believe this has happened This is insane hit him bardiclies hit the umpire Yeah, I there were some awkward moments in that not gonna lie Um, but but I do have a question so getting back to this whole theory I'm air quotes theory that bardiclies and testicles are not real people and they're not actually time travelers and we don't actually have a recording It's bleak. I got a comment here from a listener and I said hi guys. I have some bad news I think that audio recording was a fake while very convincing especially those accents sadly vegemite was developed in 1922 What are your comments to that matt? Uh yeah according to your history books boo.
Yeah, the chock full of lies who yeah Clearly were you there when vegemite was invented? That's right. I tell you was we do seriously still know Partically and testicles we do need to do an episode about the historical method versus the scientific method that would be amazing We've been talking about that. We kind of comment is what's wrong with america right there What do you mean?
That's the kind of stuff? What does people being like? I looked at the evidence and thought critically about the thing and you're wrong Okay, that's the Dude that was that joke was so many levels deep because I couldn't tell where you were like you were Somehow that was like sarcasm of sarcasm or something. I don't even know what just happened, but it was a couple more.
It was great dude That's fantastic dude. I really enjoyed this and um I yeah, it was fun. It really was I've got one other comment here So obviously no joke what we're doing here is we're trying to pivot and we're trying to really lean into patreon The biggest response we've ever had on patreon like if you look at the graph of people that sport on patreon It's when we did the 5050 that was fun. So this is uh, I don't know if we saw on 5050.com But anyway, the whole idea here is we're trying to be supported by people on patreon That's that's the goal patreon.com slash note of questions.
We'll send you stickers And you all are smart if we're gonna ask you to consider doing something we're trying to make it funny and try to make it fun Whether it's one of the ads that we do or something like this So so thanks for having a sense of humor about things like that and letting us get away with doing it weird doing it different Yeah, absolutely. We appreciate that legit really um one other comment here matt It's a logistics thing. We need to figure out so we did not think about the economics of this clearly to get the stickers made and to mail them Is gonna cost more than like the I don't know that then it's just like we're just banking on the goodwill of people and the idea of stickers This is something I said on smarter every day. You're doing it on tmbh The idea is we want to give you these stickers as a way of saying thank you for sticking with us.
There's a dad joke there So when you get the sticker you're like man, I'm sticking with those guys. So I really I really appreciate that So that's the idea Here's a logistics issue though matt and we need to address this comment It says this is a this is a person that sent this in they said will there be a way to buy extra stickers My son who's 12 is already scheming to steal the testically sticker when it comes so we can take it to school in church Even asked for a sweatshirt. I hope there's a way to get extras. What are your thoughts on that like logistically?
Stickers a interesting thing like you get a sticker and you think long and hard about where i'm i'm gonna put this thing right? I have a proposal. Do you have an idea first before I always throw mine out there? I had anticipated spicy latina grammars being our like tina like tina I assumed that would be our primary demographic because of her unwavering support who edits the podcast and who will be paid by support via the testically sticker Yeah, so I mean obviously spicy latina grammars are gonna absolutely love these stickers But just the idea that putting the word testicles on a sticker and then a picture of a real stout chiseled greek looking dude That that would somehow play for a middle school boy.
I didn't see that coming So first of all, I'm really encouraged To imagine that this might connect with a broader audience than we had originally anticipated But secondly that is a real logistical issue that you're bringing up there And I think what we do is we just there's a new little store option that patreon has invented I think we just take advantage of that and make it so that if we're really more than one of these I can buy one We'll just send it to him. I didn't realize that so is the store or whatever it is only available to patrons? Yes, that exists now that is my understanding. I think we can get that set up Okay, great.
Well, I think we do it that way then so like patrons would have options to do that sort of thing We're just gonna straight up send you one of each barnacles and testicles if you support on patreon You will get that so make sure your address is in the system and make sure you have it flipped on for the notent questions podcast So that we can make sure we can send you some stuff. So I'm excited. Thank you so much for For giving around with us. This is fun.
This was fun and I would like to make one final observation slash announcement I have come around on the idea of doing this episode. I think it was a good idea. I'm in oh, thanks I appreciate that and I'm excited about the the messages that are now sprinkled throughout the back catalog I think that's fun and uh man. It's a whole other timeline man.
It's crazy Yeah, we've spent a lot of time looking back with barnacles and testicles I just can't wait to learn more about what the future looks like as I go back and review what messages were sent to us from future times That we don't yet understand in that back catalog very excited I appreciate you buddy. Thank you genuinely for throwing throwing your ridiculous lovable brain at this It's so dumb. Thank you. It's one of the joys of my life same.
All right. See you buddy later, buddy