EPISODE · Jun 12, 2026 · 12 MIN
177: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
from Unstuck with Jay Abbasi · host Jay Abbasi
The way you talk to yourself may be the very thing holding you back. In this solo episode, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states, and why understanding these distinctions can dramatically improve your performance, resilience, and well-being. Drawing from the teachings of Anthony de Mello, Viktor Frankl, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Jay explains why harsh self-judgment creates unnecessary psychological suffering and how a practice of self-observation can help you become more self-aware without becoming self-critical. He also breaks down the role of flow states and when to observe yourself versus when to let go and fully immerse yourself in the moment. Notable Quotes “There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.” — Anthony de Mello “Self-criticism does not serve you.” — Jay Abbasi “Be that kind of coach for yourself that you would want if you were playing sports.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be able to observe yourself without judgment.” — Jay Abbasi “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Jamie, Director of Regulatory Affairs for a medical equipment manufacturer, who knows she has the skills to move up but struggles to project confidence and presence in high-stakes conversations. Jay is joined by Allison Shapira, Harvard lecturer, executive advisor, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and former opera singer, to explore how leaders can communicate with greater confidence, credibility, and impact.
What this episode covers
The way you talk to yourself may be the very thing holding you back. In this solo episode, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states, and why understanding these distinctions can dramatically improve your performance, resilience, and well-being. Drawing from the teachings of Anthony de Mello, Viktor Frankl, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Jay explains why harsh self-judgment creates unnecessary psychological suffering and how a practice of self-observation can help you become more self-aware without becoming self-critical. He also breaks down the role of flow states and when to observe yourself versus when to let go and fully immerse yourself in the moment. Notable Quotes “There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.” — Anthony de Mello “Self-criticism does not serve you.” — Jay Abbasi “Be that kind of coach for yourself that you would want if you were playing sports.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be able to observe yourself without judgment.” — Jay Abbasi “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Jamie, Director of Regulatory Affairs for a medical equipment manufacturer, who knows she has the skills to move up but struggles to project confidence and presence in high-stakes conversations. Jay is joined by Allison Shapira, Harvard lecturer, executive advisor, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and former opera singer, to explore how leaders can communicate with greater confidence, credibility, and impact.
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177: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
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