#177 The Problem Isn't That She Couldn’t Set Boundaries. She Just Kept Letting Other People Set Them with Alicia Ybarra.

Alicia's boss made her print out every financial document she had, every week, so he could go through it and highlight what she wasn't allowed to spend. She was engaged to his son at the time. He told her she didn't need a raise, because once she was married and having babies, she wouldn't need one. She let him set that line. Just like she let her martial arts instructor set the line at thirteen, when he decided she was his to groom. Just like she let a grandmaster set the line on her clothes, her classes, and her worth to his business. The first time in years she tried to draw a line of her own, it wasn't even her boyfriend who ended things. It was his mother, at a Denny's. This is what happens when a person learns early that their own line doesn't count, that the people with power over them are the ones who get to decide where it goes. It's not that the boundary never existed. It's that she stopped being the one who got to set it, over and over, until letting other people decide became the default. Here's where that pattern kept showing up, long after she thought she'd already survived the worst of it: 🔹 What her boss printed out and highlighted every single week, and why she let him 🔹 The exact words a grandmaster used to tell her what she was actually worth to his business 🔹 Who ended things for her the first time in years she tried to stand up for herself 🔹 Why she believed an abusive boyfriend when he told her it was her fault he hit her She didn't lack boundaries. She'd just spent her whole life letting other people set them for her. About Elicia: Elicia is a lifelong martial artist, dedicated women’s self-defense instructor, and passionate advocate for empowering women to live confidently and fearlessly. With over three decades of martial arts experience, including a 4th Dan Black Belt in Taekwondo and a 1st Dan Black Belt in Hapkido, Elicia has transformed her personal journey of resilience into a mission to uplift others. As the founder of Pretty Hands, Hard Punches, Elicia uses her own experiences overcoming abuse and exploitation within the martial arts industry to teach women practical self-defense techniques, boundary-setting, and how to recognize and stand against abuse. Her unique approach combines technical skill, emotional intelligence, and empowerment to help women build physical and mental strength.   Connect with Elicia: Website: www.prettyhandshardpunches.com  Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/prettyhandshardpunches  Instagram handle: https://www.instagram.com/prettyhandshardpunches/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prettyhandshardpunches/  Promotional Link: https://www.prettyhandshardpunches.com/product-page/boundaries-bravery-self-defense-strategies-for-women-Everywhere    Free Gift Link: https://www.prettyhandshardpunches.com/product-page/creating-the-ideal-you    Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes