178. Hangovers, Hormones & Holding Your Ground: An Honest Midlife Drinking Conversation

Send me a message 🤗Sometimes you have a conversation on someone else's show that covers exactly the ground your own listeners need. This is one of those.A little while ago, I was invited onto Francesca Liparoti’s Empowered Perimenopause Podcast — and what started as a chat about alcohol and midlife turned into one of the most honest chats I've had in a while. We got into the real stuff: the moment I snapped at my son, 3 days after a casual night out, and realised the hangovers had to stop. How 24 years working in bars made daily drinking feel completely normal — until it didn't. And why the goal was never to quit, just to never feel that way again.We also got into the identity shift when your marriage, your friendships, your entire social life have been built around drinking, who are you when you start doing things differently? And how do you hold your ground with the people who take your choices personally?If you're somewhere in that messy middle — not ready to quit, but done with feeling rubbish — this one's for you. Francesca's show is brilliant, and I'll link to it in the show notes. And for the men listening: the perimenopause framing is Francesca's world, but the drinking conversation is yours too. Andropause is real; it affects how your body handles alcohol, and I've got an episode coming for you on that soon. By the end of this episode, you'll be able to answer:- Why does alcohol hit me so much harder than it used to — and what's actually going on in my body?- What's the difference between active and passive moderation, and which stage am I at?- What are zebra striping, bookending and pacing — and could one of them actually work for me?- How do I stop feeling like I have to justify myself every time I'm not drinking?- Will I still feel like me — funny, confident, sexy — if I drink differently?- How do I get from counting drinks and setting rules to just... not needing to?  0:00 Why This Interview Matters5:38 Why Alcohol Hits Harder Now8:39 Reacting to Peer Pressure & All-or-Nothing Thinking13:13 From Hangovers to Moderation18:18 Active & Passive Moderation22:50 Handling Identity, Friendship & Family Pressures29:06 Knowing Your Limits34:09 Moderation Methods You Can Try38:51 The Confidence in 'No Thanks'42:45 The Four-Week Mindful Reset You can find Francesca’s show everywhere you listen, or go to https://francescaliparoti.com/podcasts/empowered-perimenopause-podcast/ Take Francesca's quiz - https://francescaliparoti.com/podcasts/empowered-perimenopause-podcast/ ===🌱 Ready for real change in the way you drink? - https://www.lownodrinker.com/4weekreset===🗝️ Become a Vault member to get access to the moderation tools that actually help - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/s/the-vault===✏️ Come hang out with me on Substack - https://mindfuldrinking.substack.com/===❓ Take the Midlife Drinking Triggers Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/68dd33385bb4a20015996a13===*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may earn a commission that helps me keep the show going. Thank you.