179. Get Bad

Lords: Alex Shannon Topics: Reading music badly Minigame: guess the animal from bad old-timey descriptions How to pronounce "MacPaint" https://www.tumblr.com/destinationtoast/708530541060816896 Airport teleportation Microtopics: Games that you should not play if you get addicted to games. Roguelikes that take a reasonable amount of time to play if you are bad at them. We're Not That Bad!™ The Sunnyvale Singers. Producing music with a piano. Two guards, one who can't read a book and the other one who can read a book aloud but doesn't know the language. Buttons corresponding to the doots. Given a starting note, figuring out what the next note is supposed to be. Not being able to sight sing but faking it by looking at the vertical distance between notes. Music direction reading "lower than you think" (but in Italian) Knowing the chord progressions to 10,000 pop songs. Ways to make music. Moving between shapes even without hearing them. Playing accompaniment to silent films. Improvising music differently each time. Pliny the Elder describing the camel leopard. An animal with the neck of a horse but the head of a camel. A bigness answering thereto. Enjoying the alligator too much. A curse on four legs, equally pernicious on land and river. Inflating the chameleon. Spontaneous generation. Horned ghosts catapulting themselves around. Hunting an elephant by tricking it into leaning on a tree that won't support it. Whether elephants have knees. Vultures gestating for three years and giving live birth. Vultures and condors reproducing without mating. Your good friend Ms. Paint. Naming your dog a Japanese-sounding name with no regard to Japanese phonotactics and then arguing with people who try to correct you. Baking a cake that is 80% vanilla extract. A poem in the options of a Tumblr poll. Starting from a point of trust but slowly starting to doubt yourself. Orpheus and Eurydice. A poignant way of putting the reader in the character's frame of mind. The value of Oregon Trail. Iterating the Orpheus and Eurydice prisoner's dilemma, where whether looking back is the right move is different every time. Choosing to buy a certain amount of supplies and watching that not work out for you and the character you named after your best friend in the media lab dies. Extremely short form interactive fiction. Making an important decision and never finding out if it was the right decision. Performing Sicilian Reasoning to finesse the outcome of this online cake ingredient poll. Making a perfect stairway in an online poll. Making a phone app to help people choose the best option in the cake ingredient poll. Instantly teleporting from your seat on the flight to the entrance to your destination airport. Teleporting from the TSA interrogation room to the entrance of the airport. Teleportation gravity wells. Establishing an international airport out of your home. Hoping the cops never figure out that you can only teleport to the entrance of an airport. Stuperpowers Gerrymandering your teleport destinations. An international airport that is 100 miles long and 1 centimeter wide. Asking a friend to convince you that a certain building is an international airport. Drinking a glass of water while standing on your head to convince yourself of what an airport is. Hiccups Gone Install. You Only Get Screamered Once.