#18 Relentless Kindness: The Foundation of Therapeutic Care, with Adela Holmes

Send us Fan MailWhat if everything we thought we knew about helping traumatised children was backwards? In this profound conversation, Adela Holmes reveals the revolutionary approach that transformed lives at Hurstbridge Farm Therapeutic Residential Care Pilot in Victoria.At the heart of effective therapeutic care lies what Holmes calls "relentless kindness" – an unwavering commitment to relationship-based approaches that prioritise connection over control. Drawing from neurobiology and decades of practice wisdom, she explains why traditional behavioural management techniques often fail our most vulnerable children."Before they can make any lasting change in their behaviour, they need to feel safe and loved," Holmes quotes from Bruce Perry's seminal work. She shares compelling stories that illustrate this principle in action – like the 10-year-old boy who initially resisted constant adult supervision but later panicked when he woke up alone, desperately seeking an adult presence he'd come to rely on.The Hurstbridge model, grounded in neuroscience and relationship-based care, focuses on meeting children where they are developmentally rather than where society expects them to be. Holmes explains why going "to the lowest part of the brain implicated" is essential for creating meaningful change. This means providing countless repetitions of corrective experiences within safe, consistent relationships.Despite facing criticism and doubt, Holmes persevered with her approach. The results speak volumes – young people who experienced multiple placement breakdowns finding stability, developing trusting relationships, and eventually creating fulfilling lives. One poignant example: a former resident who recently married and shared the news with staff who had cared for him years earlier.For anyone working with traumatised children – whether in residential care, foster care, or therapeutic settings – this episode offers invaluable insights into creating environments where healing can truly happen. Listen now to discover how relationship-based approaches, informed by neurobiology, can transform the lives of our most vulnerable children.Links:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcastPodcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/Disclaimer:Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce.Support the show