18: The Art of Listening for the Married Couple

18 - The Art of Listening for the Married Couple Strengthening Your Marriage and Connection Through Active Listening Introduction:  ·         Ever notice how Dogs are So Intent and Can Hang on Every Word ·         What must they be thinking? ·         Do dogs think every word that comes from us is like us saying "bacon."  ·         Whatever it is, we could probably learn a thing or two.  Here are 3 quick tips to help you with something called Active Listening to grow in your connection with each other as a Christian married couple. 1. Be Fully Present to get better at Active Listening ·         Difficult because of distractions ·         Make sure distractions that are obstacles don't turn into excuses.  ·         Remember the key to Active Listening is the word "Active."  It takes some work to really pay attention.  This can be helped by repeating back what you think you heard for clarity. ·         You are human and it is okay to occasionally be caught up in something else but do not make it a habit.  ·         Looking at your spouse in the eyes while they speak can be very helpful. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." James 1:19-20 2. Empathetic Listening for the Married Couple ·         Empathetic Listening is paying attention to the emotions that you are hearing.  Your spouse may not be saying them directly, but sometimes you can pick up on them.  ·         Make sure to acknowledge the sadness or hurt or fear they are feeling ·         Doing these things can go a long way toward helping each other feeling heard understood and ultimately loved. "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15 3. Avoid Jumping to Solutions to Increase Connection ·         Solution or Advice Giving usually comes from a good place.  But if done too quickly, it will often make your spouse feel unheard.  It is counterintuitive but trust us on this one.  ·         If you want to give advice, simply ask. ·         If you are the one venting, be sure to say "I am venting and just want someone to listen and show empathy." "To answer before listening— that is folly and shame." Proverbs 18:13 4. Final Thoughts These 3 simple but sometimes not easy techniques can help you both grow closer together in your walk as a Christian Married Couple. And I do believe that Jesus encourages these three things with your spouse and really with anyone. 5.  Pick up our Free 10 Practical Communication Strategies This guide will help you as a couple have more effective and connecting conversations.  6.  Until Next Time Happy Talking....and Listening!  See you next time