181. My Own Personal Kennedy Assassination

Lords: Avery Tyriq Topics: Adam, Father of all humankind, was maybe a giant Heathcliff is still going and it's weird I've heard a million novelty metal covers but still nobody's done Truly Scrumptious / Doll on a Music Box from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang "The Phone Call" by James Tate Microtopics: Withholding all your best URLs until the end of the episode. Using lowercase Ls in place of Is and seeing if anybody notices. Leaving capitalizations to the whims of chaos. (Your fingers.) Teachers explaining that if you can't write in cursive by junior high your teachers will throw things at you and call you stupid. Adam and Eve growing to 18 feet tall. Pre-flood humans and their towering heights/lifespans/IQs. How to make your wisdom teeth fit again. Conspiracy theories that have no bearing on anything. Fighting wars over the estimated radius of the earth. The Nephilim. YHWH fanfiction. How many Jesuses are alive today. The friend you have with superhuman charisma and whether they ended up starting a cult. Getcherself a nice cult, settle down, have a thousand babies. The guy who was both a dwarf and a giant during his lifetime. Every tall person having been short at one point. Chain-smoking tweens drinking martinis and yelling at their secretaries. A Topic Lords ouroboros. Hypothesizing why the elderly people Heathcliff lives with have a child. Having a child for some reason. A humanoid robot with the word "meat" printed on its chest. The kind of people who read comics every day. Zippy the Pinhead. A weird underground subculture comic that somehow made it into newspaper syndication. Mustache Mondays vs. Mustache Lasagna. A milk mustache but for lasagna. A cartoon anvil that has its weight imprinted on it. Two side characters explaining the situation to each other. One of the birds says to the other, "Christ, what an asshole." Historians a thousand years from now deciding whether Heathcliff should be included in the Bible. After recorded media stops being a thing, episodes of The Simpsons being passed down as oral history. Rhapsodes. Contests for the best rhapsode. Hector of the Shining Helmet vs. Hector the Booty Inspector. Fillet episodes in the Odyssey and the Iliad. The Flaming Lips album that comes on four CDs that your supposed to play simultaneously, but nobody's ever bothered. How they handle hidden tracks on Spotify. How to deal with skits when you're ripping rap albums to mp3. The Meat Puppets playing a set in the middle of Nirvana'a MTV Unplugged set. Writing a song about a shooting star who's been turned into a rat and has just fallen in love with someone named Tristran, and trying to figure out what rhymes with Tristran. Working at the Brill Building. Tin Pan Alley. Nearly jumping out of your pants. Taking a high-paying job as a murder victim. The one where people wear horse skulls. The Scrambler, from issue #12 where the panels were all out of order. Working at the oil refinery until a giant spider comes and steals the Light of the Silmarils. Whether there's a werewolf in the Silmarillion. Biblical Exigesis. Getting email saying that your art is improving someone's life. A phone that can receive text messages but you have to pay extra to know who they're from.