#182: How Do I Show Up Healthy With My Family Of Origin?

Caller Ryan's Question: "I am a husband, father of 2, soon to be 3, and am a man who is working on identifying the false agreements that I have built up over my life. I have recently come to realize that PTSD plays a major role in my compulsory acting out behavior within my sex addiction. I am a survivor of covert incest, as well as other traumatic events that affected my sense of safety and security. I have been no contact with my family for approaching two years. As I am beginning the work of processing some of my relational trauma. I find myself wrestling with the question of what I want out of my relationships with my family members. It’s a parts war inside of me, and I can feel my self-worth, shame, and connection to God coming and going in the fog of war. How do I ground myself to my truth in the midst of so much unprocessed pain and internal turmoil?" In This Episode: 1. Ryan's experience with covert incest in his family of origin and what those things are. 2. The impact that these experiences have had on Ryan's current relationship 3. Ways to break generational patterns and become a transitional figure Chapter Summaries: [00:01:47] - Ryan is a recovering addict. He had various addictions alcohol, cannabis, issues with PTSD and codependency. [00:04:05] - Brannon and Tyler explain the term ”covert incest“. [00:05:21] - As a child, he was used by his family and didn't feel connected to them. Now, as an adult, he struggles with his relationships with her family members. [00:12:25] - The loss of Ryan's sister made him think about his family in a different way. He has been estranged from his family for two years and he explains why. [00:18:07] - Ryan is grappling with his role as a father, as a husband, and as a son. He wants to find out who he is and who he should be as a man. [00:22:01] - He wants to have a good relationship with his family on the terms that he can keep his values. [00:39:25] - Ryan is in the process of forgiveness toward his parents.  [00:44:56] - Ryan is trying to figure out if it's shame or guilt that's driving him. [00:52:36] - Ryan is struggling with generational trauma. He wants to break the chains of generational trauma through consciousness and courage. [00:54:38] - Tyler calls Ryan a transitional figure for his family tree. // SUBMIT A QUESTION + SCHEDULE A CALL // We would love to answer any questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, healing and anything you can think of. Click the link below to submit your question (and if you're open to being a guest on the podcast, you can schedule your call time as well)! We're also curious to know if there are any topics you'd like to hear us discuss on the podcast. https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/ Send mail to: Therapy Brothers, 40 W Cache Valley Blvd Ste 3c, Logan, UT 84341 // Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" // Website: https://www.brannonpatrick.com Therapy Practice: https://therapyutah.org/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/brannon_patrick Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ExpertBrannon YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/bpatricklcsw // Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" // 15-Minute Free Consultation Call: https://lovestrong.com/consultation-call Therapy Practice: https://lovestrong.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.wandering.therapist Facebook: https://facebook.com/love.strong.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXaR4084r-Z_251xVdoyMFQ // SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL // Newsletter: https://www.therapybros.com/subscribe Donations: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=XQUZPJ6QNC22C // COURSES // Boundary Bootcamp: https://www.brannonpatrick.com/Boundarybootcamp Pornography Addiction Recovery Kickstart: https://lovestrong.com/courses/overcome-pornography-addiction/ // EVENTS // Radiant Dawn | Women's Retreat: https://radiantdawnconference.com/ Rising Son | Men's Retreat: https://risingson.org Vibrant Love | Couple's Retreat: https://vibrantlove.org