182: The Mental Game of Youth Sports: What Parents & Coaches Need to Know with Dr. Ben Freakley

Britt, Brad, and former U.S. Soccer captain Carlos Bocanegra sit down with Dr. Ben Freakley for a practical conversation on the mental side of youth sports. Freakley, a military brat and former college soccer player and coach, traces his path from a painful VMI loss that pushed him into sports psychology, to work with Army Rangers, the Toronto Blue Jays’ mental performance department, and building Atlanta United’s high-performance staff alongside Bocanegra. He now leads Ready, Set, Resilient and consults with athletes, coaches, and high performers.The discussion centers on cognitive load: how parents yelling from the stands, coaches barking from the sideline, and a kid’s own inner voice create “noise” that makes it harder to play. Freakley explains why coaches (and parents) should cut feedback to one or two clear points, triage what actually matters, and save the rest for later. He offers a simple post-game framework he uses with his own high-school football-playing sons—goals, honest reflection on what went well, what to improve, and a plan for next time—aimed at building self-awareness rather than delivering a play-by-play critique.Freakley shares his expertise and a hot take on developing confidence, and he talks a length about stressing process over results.Bocanegra and Freakley also share what they looked for in young academy players beyond speed and skill: kids who showed up every day, competed, and figured things out when they weren’t the most gifted.Freakley's closing billboard for every youth field: Love your kid. Unconditional positive regard. No conditions of worth tied to points, minutes, or wins. “You’re enough.” A grounded, coach-and-parent-friendly episode on reducing noise, building process, and keeping the relationship first.