#183 - Catie Hockenbury Episode 1

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, Mason talks with Catie Hockenbury about unimaginable loss—and the resilience it took to keep going. Catie's life has been shaped by profound grief. Her daughter Maya died during childbirth in 2016 after a catastrophic placental abruption. Her son Oliver passed away from SUID at just 9 months old in 2023. And years earlier, Connor, the father of her first child, died by suicide at 19. Connor was a funny, goofy kid who loved Metallica and deeply cared for those around him. After his parents' divorce and a painful rejection, his mental health spiraled. Despite people trying to help, he lost his battle with depression—leaving behind a young son and a family searching for answers. Years later, Catie experienced another devastating loss when her daughter Maya was stillborn at full term. Despite repeatedly telling medical staff something was wrong, she was sent home twice. During the traumatic delivery, Catie's organs began failing, her heart rate dropped to 19 beats per minute, and she died on the table—before being revived with multiple shots of epinephrine. She held Maya for 24 hours before saying goodbye. Then in 2023, Catie lost her son Oliver to Sudden Unexplained Infant Death (SUID). Though the cause was never determined, she believes Oliver's death ultimately gave her the strength to leave an abusive marriage and reclaim her life. Together, Mason and Catie talk about: • The ripple effects of suicide and the pain families carry • When the medical system fails to listen • What it's like to die and come back • The weight of unanswered questions after SUID • Grief inside abusive relationships • Why vulnerability helps others feel less alone • Turning unimaginable pain into purpose Today, Catie uses her story to support other bereaved parents and remind people that even in the darkest moments, they are not alone. ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of suicide, stillbirth, infant death, domestic violence, medical trauma, and near-death experiences.