183: Problems with dialogues on the planet, in our families, in politics... Listening with love!

00:00 Hey, everyone, I'm Madonna, and this is David, and we're going to talk about another holistic counseling technique to do with narrative therapy.00:07 Right, yes. So it's yet another technique that David uses to help his clients. Well, it's, yes, okay. So it's a technique, but it's more of a way of seeing things.00:18 So in, um, narrative work is narrative main story. And so when we do narrative work, we look at people's stories and how they can communicate.00:29 And it's all about how our stories work and how that we can, because barely we can get our life story, like we're always kind of in the middle of it, right, and say that we can look at, Your hope.00:44 Yeah, but, Well, we're in the middle between the past and the future. Yes, we are. And so, you know, when we do counseling, we look at people's stories, as a matter of fact, A lot of people identify if they're going to see their deepest part, really, their stories, it's a really big part of the self,01:03 like having a story that we like, because if we don't like our story, it's hard to like yourself in a way.01:10 But in communications, with all sorts of medical things and therapy things, we have disorders. But in dialogical theory, which is about dialogue theory, which is a part of narrative work, it's the idea that a disorder is a breakdown in communication in one way or another.01:33 So, break down in communication and then within the family theory. Do you mean it's a disorder like anxiety or depression or?01:43 That's right. But we're looking at the disorder in terms of how communication works, because often if that's correct, a lot of other things correct automatically.01:55 So basically, because a lot of narratives work comes out of family therapy, which is sort of different to individual therapy because it's more systemic.02:05 And so with what would be considered to be a disorder of breakdown in communication, is either somebody disengaging in communication with you or somebody interfering with communication.02:19 Right. And so in all sorts of things that we'd look at in family systems, because in family systems, the problems are the same thing.02:30 So they're either chaos, which will be arguing in your communication. Right, yes. or cutoffs, which is cutting someone out of the, cutting someone off, or often even cutting them out of this systemic thing.02:43 Like when in families, when one, one of the members gets in trouble and they get isolated, they actually get cutoff from the family dialogue often.02:54 So everybody starts communicating and leaving them out. Like that's a really common thing where somebody gets cut out and in families where there's a particular scape you know it says the golden child, there's probably going to be a scapegoat.03:06 The scapegoat gets cut out of the communications and the golden child will be leading the communication. Right and say, and that's just in Stanley.03:15 And so when we look at things like communication break down, so we cut off and they'll be chaos, just like in all other parts of the system.03:23 And the communication part is important part because it's how we actually connect with people. And so that people can end up becoming isolated and disconnected, even without any chaos.03:39 So just say a family has an issue and you're the only person in the family who's a boy or a girl.e a good one.