184 - Merging Who I Was Supposed To Be With Who I Am

Heidi, from Silicon Valley, California, grew up walking on eggshells, crying a lot and "staying small" in her world despite being gifted. She found her maternal family guided by a somewhat famous reunion specialist who helped the reunion along. Heidi says reunion can be weird and awkward for how much time has passed while an adoptee tries to get to know their biological relatives in the present. Her reunions are further complicated by the emotions of her birth mother and birth father being the opposite reactions to her return than she expected. This is Heidi's journey Lyrics to Looking For Me (Lyrics) Looking for Me (Heidi Frederick © 2021) My life a blurry canvas, full of pain and sometimes numb No voice, no choice, grasping for joy, yet slipping through my hands So lost without direction, afraid to ask for help full of fear and loneliness, days and nights all by myself Silent struggle of a misfit, just trying to fit in please tell me what to hope for, don’t let me down again Missing peace, missing pieces, yet not a search for them, I’m looking for me, to set me free, know who I truly am Searching for places, strangers faces, no reflection found was looking for them, yet searching for me alone, yet in a crowd If you could only know, my motive is so pure Not looking to replace you, our relationship, secure It’s not them I’m looking for, it’s me I long to know, You chose me then, you choose me now, but I need to heal and grow Can’t imagine, what they went through, so young and so alone knowing she’s a part of you and suddenly she’s gone They told you to move on, you’ll have more kids one day It’s better not to hold her, just turn and walk away Searching for places, strangers faces, no reflection found was looking for you, but searching for me still alone, yet in a crowd Ties that bind, can’t be broken with false promised and empty words After all this is your child, yet, she’s no longer yours She’s spent her whole life wondering, if one day you would meet no bitterness or resentment, not filled with rage or hate With secrets and shame comes darkness, but courage and hope bring light Walls come down, healing is found, not easy, but worth the fight. My life, now a mosaic of brokenness and light To rise and shine for all to see, to pass the torch of life Searching for places, strangers faces, my reflection found In my search for you, I’ve been set free my soul no longer bound. Searching for places, strangers faces, my reflection found In my search for you, I’ve been set free my soul no longer bound. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really Podbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8