185: How can we raise resilient children?

A lot of parents (and teachers) are concerned right now about children's resilience. Will they 'bounce back' from the difficulties of the pandemic? But is 'bouncing back' really the way we should be thinking about this? We have all been changed by the pandemic; shouldn't we acknowledge this and see how we can be the best versions of ourselves, incorporating what we've been through over the last few years, rather than trying to 'bounce back' into what we were before (which frankly wasn't all that amazing in a lot of cases, as we rushed from one thing to another with never any time for ourselves). In this episode we also consider Black and Indigenous researchers' perspectives on resilience, and see how their ideas can perhaps shift how we perceive resilience - and thus how we support our children.   Other episodes referenced 069: Reducing the impact of intergenerational trauma 140: Mythbusting about fat and BMI with Dr. Lindo Bacon 137: Psychological flexibility through ACT with Diana Hill 148: Is spanking a child really so bad? 098: Do school shooter trainings help (or hurt) children? 114: How to stop 'othering' and instead build 'belonging' 074: Attachment: What it is, what it's not, how to do it, and how to stop stressing about it 106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting    Jump to highlights: 01:10 Introduction 01:34 Defining resilience from various perspectives 03:16 Resilience requires exposure to some kind of threat or severe adversity 06:37 What a lack of resilience looks like and how to measure its absence 08:16 Measuring resilience in research 09:08 The challenge of defining ‘protective’ factor 10:00 The history of research on resilience 12:03 The importance allowing children to cope with mild stressors 14:40 The Indigenous resilience 17:17 The control and dominance of indigenous peoples in Canada achieved through education and immersion in settler culture 19:25 The importance of resilience culture in Indigenous communities 21:02 A model of resilience by Dr. Edith Grotberg 27:01 Resilience determined by the dominant culture's expectations of normal, healthy, and good outcomes 30:08 The real purpose of resilience 32:18 What happens when a person isn't deemed to be resilient and why that is 33:46 Resilience as a code for social compliance 38:59 What true resilience should be about (based on the story about the Claremont Counseling Center's community building) 40:53 Wrapping up   References Aranda, K., Zeeman, L., Scholes, J., & Morales, A. 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