188: Couchsurfing as a woman, Resilience vs coddling, Jealousy after a break-up

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk, discuss the following questions: 1. My niece and I have been debating whether it's safe for attractive young solo female travelers to couch surf. She believes that a careful reading of a host's couch surfing profile enables her to spot would-be predators. What are your thoughts on this Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk? 2. Can you talk about what resilience is with regard to personality/the big 5?  Do you think that it is possible to help people develop resilience or grit?  3. I dated a guy for about 5 years who would never commit and cheated on me several times, though I did not learn of his indiscretions until after the relationship ended. I recently found out that he married one of the women who he cheated on me with after dating her for only a brief time. After our split was all said and done I definitely felt like I came out it with the better end of the deal, and I'm now in a relationship that has major *magic 10%* potential; so my question is: why am I so irritated about my loser ex's quickie marriage? 4. I contracted Herpes from a long term boyfriend who was cheating on me about 10 years ago. I find it so difficult to share this information with a new person. I am 50 years old and reasonably attractive but haven't been dating from shame regarding this condition. You're straight talk suggestions are so helpful on this podcast, I'm wondering if you can advise me on how to best frame this situation for myself, my status, and potential mates.