188. Top Divorce Regrets (and What to Do Instead)

Rushing a divorce can cost you money, leverage, and peace—especially if you’re dating, listening to family “advice,” or skipping the right experts. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down the most common divorce regrets and the smart, strategic moves to avoid them.This episode is sponsored by Worthy: the smarter way to sell your jewelry. Get started by heading to Worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your item sells for more than $1,500.Check out the $50 Divorce Crash Course In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea unpack the most common divorce regrets they see over and over again: the ones that quietly cost you money, complicate custody, drag out the process, and make you look back thinking… why did I do that?Get real divorce advice your lawyer may be too polite to share. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and supportFrom rushing because you’ve moved on romantically, to letting your dad become your “legal strategist,” to skipping experts like OurFamilyWizard because you’re trying to save money—this is your highlight reel of what not to do (and what to do instead).And yes… Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie make an appearance. Because apparently six marriages is one way to earn a PhD in divorce.In this episode, we cover:The #1 regret: rushing your divorce and leaving money on the tableWhy “I want to be divorced by March” can backfire fastHow outdated financials and an old balance sheet can cost you thousandsWhy your new partner should not be part of the divorce “mischigas”The danger of letting family and friends influence legal decisionsHow well-meaning parents can accidentally run up your legal billWhen outside experts (forensic accountants, co-parenting tools, therapists) actually save you moneyWhy trying to “cheap out” can lead to a future court nightmareThe difference between fighting for what matters vs. fighting over balsamic vinegarHow to decide what’s worth it (and what’s just ego, fear, or control)Key Takeaways (Quick & Skimmable)1) Don’t rush the process and leave money on the tableWhen you’re desperate to be done, you cut corners. That’s how people sign agreements with missing details, outdated account values, or unclear parenting language—then regret it later.Do this instead: Ask your attorney if your timeline is realistic, and if it is—map the steps from A to Z.2) Don’t bring your new relationship into your divorce chaosYour new person may mean well, but they are not your lawyer—and emotionally, it can start poisoning the relationship fast.Do this instead: Process the divorce with your therapist, your support system, and your attorney—not your new partner.3) Don’t let non-lawyers steer legal decisionsEven smart, loving parents can unintentionally derail the strategy—especially when they aren’t in the day-to-day “trenches” of your case.Do this instead: If a family member must join a call, keep it controlled: you’re present, they stay muted, and they ask questions at the end.4) Don’t skip tools and experts just to “save money”Skipping the right expert can create a bigger bill later—especially in co-parenting disputes, business valuations, and post-decree enforcement.Do this instead: If your attorney recommends something like OurFamilyWizard or a valuation expert, ask why—and seriously consider it.5) Don’t drag out your divorce fighting over small stuffThere’s a difference between protecting what matters and spending thousands to win a couch, condiment collection, or “principle.”Do this instead: Ask your attorney: Is this worth the cost to fight over?Action Steps (What to do today)Write down your goals: “What do I NEED vs. what do I WANT?”Ask your lawyer directly: “Am I rushing—and what could that cost me?”Update your financials before signing anything (especially account balances).Keep your support team clean: attorney + therapist + trusted friend (not your new partner).Stop paying legal fees for emotional processing—save that for therapy.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost. If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy. Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value. What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible. It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner. Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.