19. The Keys to a Healthy Romantic Relationship, with Darren Bruce

Darren Bruce is a communication and relationship coach that guides couples to deepen friendship, intimacy and become role models who impact future generations to be compassionate, authentic and influential. Having been on his own journey of personal development, he understands the importance of knowing ourselves to know others. He shares tools, resources and knowledge that can help us build and maintain healthy romantic relationships. In this episode, Darren shares: How a harmonious relationship supports our health. That studies show we lose 4 years of our lifespan by having a stressful relationship. Taking responsibility for our own feelings and triggers. Knowing that nobody makes us feel anything.  Being cautious not to use shame or fear to change someone’s behaviour. The importance of our parental figures growing up and how this impacts our romantic relationships. The detriment of hyper independence and being cautious not to use this to replace codependency. Finding a healthy middle ground. Having compassion for ourselves and our partners. Developing the skill of noticing and diffusing triggers or things your partner says/does that annoys you. Developing an attitude of excellence and continuous growth. The differences between men and women and how we process stress/emotions. The circle of security model and developing safety and security in our childhood. The importance of parents being in tune with their own emotions so that they can cater to the children’s needs. An insight into love languages and they come from an emotional need we desire to have fulfilled. How judgement of ourselves can impact judgement towards our partner. Our relationships are a reflection of our relationship to ourselves. The 3 main identities for a healthy relationship. How your external love and intimacy reflects your internal love and intimacy. What so many people are really craving. Switching from ‘you complete me’ to ‘you compliment me’. Having the courage to have the tough conversations or voice how you’re feeling. The 3 keys to calm conflict: awareness, communication and environment. How to navigate conflict in a calm and effective way by using these keys. Using a ‘soft start’ to bring up difficult conversations. Using appreciation, understanding and/or respect. The way that conflict is just misunderstanding. The 2 reasons a relationship will fail. And so much more! Learn more about Darren via his website https://www.darrenbruce.com.au/ or follow his journey over on instagram @darrenjbruce or Facebook. Let's stay connected! Sign up to my mailing list here⁠ and follow along over on instagram @shahnasarpi⁠ to hear about all of the updates and latest episodes on The Shahna Show.