19. Unlearning False Expectations: How We’re Reclaiming Our Voice

Have you ever realized in a split second that you’re the only one standing between your child and a lifetime of people-pleasing? That’s exactly what hit Irene during a seemingly simple family outing, when her daughter just wanted to ride alone at a holiday light display but another parent’s decision put her in an uncomfortable spot.So this week, we’re reflecting on the boundaries that are needed to stand up to false expectations. Whether we’re talking about allowing a child to say no or navigating misogynistic conditions in the workforce, the ability to speak up for yourself is imperative.For many of us, there was still an unspoken pressure to accept advice and never push back. It’s funny how those mixed messages can stick with you, and how they show up later in work, relationships, and even the way you parent. I’m realizing more and more how those early lessons can make it hard to trust your own decisions, especially when you’re used to second-guessing yourself.We get real about leadership, criticism, and the moving goalposts that can make us feel like we’re never quite enough. I talk about my journey through different careers and leadership roles, and how I’ve learned to recognize when someone else’s expectations are boxing me in. It’s not easy to break out of those patterns, but we’re both learning to trust our own instincts and not let constant nitpicking shake our confidence.Letting go of perfection has been a big theme for us lately. The gift I’m giving myself this year for my birthday (today, BTW), is relaxed standards. Irene has stopped worrying so much about what others think, and started dressing and living in a way that feels good to her. I’ve stopped bowing to people who want me to feel like I’m not good at my job (spoiler alert: I AM). There’s a real freedom in realizing you don’t have to follow someone else’s playbook, whether it’s about your career, your style, or how you celebrate the holidays.In today’s episode, we’re chatting about:Letting your child say noEmpowering women to push backWhat pushing back on expectations looks like as a leaderWhat expectations we’re letting go of to have a lighter new year