194. That’s Not How It Happened: A Novel By Craig Thomas

In this episode, we sit down with How I Met Your Mother co-creator Craig Thomas to talk about his new novel, That’s Not How It Happened. The novel is about a family whose lives are thrown into turmoil when a Hollywood producer turns their story into a movie, forcing them to confront their differing perspectives on their past and the challenges of raising their son, Emmett, who has Down syndrome. It was inspired by Craig’s son, Elliott, who lives with a rare condition called Jacobsen Syndrome and is on sale starting November 4, 2025. We were introduced to Craig through our dear friends Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey, the hosts of the Office Ladies podcast. Jenna and Angela have been such loyal supporters of If We Knew Then and we’re so grateful to them for connecting us with Craig. That introduction led to a heartfelt and honest conversation that we are excited to share with you. You can order Craig Thomas's new book from major booksellers like Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, HarperCollins Publishers, and other retailers. Also, check out Craig’s How I Met Your Mother rewatch podcast called How We Made Your Mother, which he co-hosts with Josh Radnor. Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2025/11/02/194-thats-not-how-it-happened-a-novel-by-craig-thomas/2/ Please follow us on X @ifweknewthenPOD, you can drop us a line on our Facebook page @ifweknewthenPOD or visit our website https://www.IfWeKnewThen.com to send us an email with questions and comments. Also join our mailing list there and get alerts of future podcast episodes. Thank you again and we look forward to you joining us on the next episode of IF WE KNEW THEN. ----- Summary: In this episode we welcome Craig Thomas, co-creator of 'How I Met Your Mother', for a deeply personal and insightful conversation that blends storytelling, humor and advocacy. Introduced through mutual friends Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey, from THE OFFICE, Craig joins the podcast to discuss his new novel, 'That’s Not How It Happened', and the real-life experiences that inspired it. Craig shares the story of his son Elliott, who was born with Jacobson syndrome, a rare genetic condition with similarities to Down syndrome. What began as an unexpected and frightening medical journey marked by a low birth weight, delayed diagnosis and emergency open-heart surgery, evolved into a life-changing experience that reshaped Craig’s identity, priorities, and creative voice. He reflects on the emotional whiplash of celebrating his son’s survival, only to be ushered into a stark “bad news room” where a geneticist delivered a bleak, impersonal prognosis based on a list of worst-case outcomes. Stephen and Lori connect deeply with this experience, recalling similar moments following their son Liam’s diagnosis. Together, they examine how the medical model often frames disability through limitation and fear, rather than possibility and individuality. Craig highlights how this early messaging can distort a parent’s understanding of their child before they’ve even had the chance to know them. Over time, however, that narrative is replaced by lived experience by discovering who their child truly is beyond the diagnosis. For Craig, that discovery revealed Elliott as vibrant, musical and full of life “wanting to be at the party” from the very beginning. Now 18, Elliott’s passion for music and joyful presence have become central to Craig’s understanding of both fatherhood and storytelling. This long journey ultimately inspired his novel, which he describes as a rare attempt to bring humor into the world of special needs parenting, a space often dominated by either sentimentality or hardship. By writing a comedic, fictional narrative grounded in truth, Craig aims to humanize disability and broaden the way these stories are told. They also explore the challenges of representation in media. Craig shares his frustration with trying to develop film and television projects centered on disability, often deemed too “niche” by studios despite the vast size and diversity of the disability community. His decision to write a novel instead reflects both creative freedom and a determination to tell this story authentically. Throughout the episode, humor emerges as a vital tool, not to diminish the challenges, but to process them and reclaim joy. Lori and Stephen echo this sentiment, emphasizing how laughter has been essential in their own journey. Together, they challenge the isolation often placed on families by systems and narratives that fail to reflect the richness of their lives. Ultimately, this episode is about reframing perspective. It underscores the importance of community, accurate information and storytelling that reflects real lives, not worst-case scenarios. Through Craig’s story, listeners are reminded that while the path may begin with uncertainty, it often leads to connection and a deeper understanding of what it means to truly see and celebrate a child.