#195 - The Dark Side of Vulnerability Marketing

This week I'm calling out something I'm seeing everywhere right now in the online business world, and honestly, it's feeling like an epidemic. Coaches are hearing they should differentiate themselves by being vulnerable, so they're sharing their struggles, their breakdowns, their trauma in real time. And look, it works at first - engagement goes through the roof, people respond, you feel seen. But here's the problem: they end up building their entire brand around their worst moments.Every post becomes a wound on display. And then they can't figure out why they're attracting clients who are drowning, not clients who are ready to actually do the work and move forward.When your brand is built on unprocessed trauma, you're positioning yourself as a peer in struggle rather than a guide through it, and that fundamentally undermines your authority.There's a massive difference between real vulnerability and performance vulnerability. Real vulnerability is when you're sharing something you've processed and metabolised. You're offering wisdom, not an open wound. It feels clean because you're not searching for validation, you're genuinely serving your audience's transformation.Performance vulnerability? That's when you're sharing trauma because it gets clicks and comments, when you're still in it and you need people to tell you you're brave. It's extractive, not generous.So here's my invitation: stop sharing trauma in real time, audit your content to see how much centres on pain rather than insight, and reposition your brand around transformation instead of empathy. The people who truly value you don't need you to perform your pain, they value your wisdom, your authority, your frameworks because you're on the other side and can show them the way.Mentioned in this episode:This is the LinkedIn post I mention about my late husband: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/gillmoakes_its-7-years-ago-today-that-my-husband-phill-activity-7143208724856270849-BFL-?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAACuEtlUBCBw8uMiKIFcrgf3Kt-Gpw6nq80oIf you'd like to explore working together, book a call with me here: https://go.oncehub.com/alignment-call This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gillmoakes.substack.com