#196. Lead Yourself First: Self-Doubt, Adversity & Taking Control with Tori DaCosta

The hardest moments of your life weren't wasted. They were working on you. In this rich, grounding conversation, Desiree Stanley sits down with Tori DaCosta, executive coach, speaker, and founder of Journey Stone LLC, who developed her signature CMI framework while leading teams inside a Fortune 50 organization. Her Amazon bestselling book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, is part memoir, part personal development guide—combining powerful storytelling with hands-on growth exercises that help readers do more than just read about change. They actually make it.Tori challenges one of the most common misconceptions about success: that achieving it means leaving your self-doubt behind. In reality, she says, success exposes it. The higher you rise, the more the unresolved stuff surfaces—and if you haven't done the inner work, those feelings start driving decisions you don't even realize are being made from a place of fear or inadequacy. Her CMI framework, built around what you can Control, Manage, and Influence, gives leaders and everyday people alike a practical way to stop burning energy on things they can't change and redirect it toward what they actually can.Tori also digs into adversity—what separates the people who come out stronger from those who stay stuck—and the answer is simpler than most expect. It's perspective. The people who move forward aren't the ones who had it easier. They're the ones who shifted their question from "why is this happening to me?" to "what can I learn from this?" She also makes a compelling case for slow, intentional transformation over dramatic reinvention, sharing her own journey from barely running a quarter mile to finishing a marathon as proof that small, consistent steps are what actually change a life.Whether you're navigating a difficult season or simply ready to lead yourself better, Tori offers something rare: a framework grounded in real experience that makes the inner work feel less overwhelming and a lot more doable.Bio:Tori is a bestselling author, executive coach, speaker, and founder of Journey Stone LLC. While leading teams within a Fortune 50 organization, she developed a practical framework that helps people focus on what they can control, manage, and influence, a powerful approach to leadership, personal growth, and navigating life's challenges.Tori is the author of No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, an Amazon bestselling memoir and personal development book that combines powerful storytelling with actionable growth exercises.Connect with Tori:Email: [email protected] Stone | Tori DaCosta | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTubeBooks mentioned:No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence by Tori DaCosta – Bookshop | AmazonMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl – Bookshop | Amazon━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━Enjoyed this episode? Leave a review and share it with a friend. The more we educate, inspire, and empower each other, the further this conversation goes.Questions or just want to say hi? Find me at PocketsofKnowledge.com or on Instagram @desireedstanley. Thanks for listening!This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and empower you on your personal journey. Guests may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services mentioned. Nothing here is medical advice—I'm not a doctor. Please consult a qualified health professional for any medical concerns.