199 At What Point Do We Say Stop? A Brother's Death, CPR Trauma, and Why End-of-Life Wishes Must Be Discussed Early with Gabrielle Elise (Gabby) Jimenez

199 At What Point Do We Say Stop? A Brother's Death, CPR Trauma, and Why End-of-Life Wishes Must Be Discussed Early with Gabrielle Elise (Gabby) Jimenez Host Marie Betcher welcomes back hospice and palliative care nurse, end-of-life doula, and The Hospice Heart founder Gabrielle Elise (Gabby) Jimenez to share the story of her brother Ben's death and why earlier end-of-life conversations matter. After years of estrangement, Gabby spent 18 days at Ben's bedside as he was mostly nonresponsive on a ventilator and tube feeds, then briefly woke and repeatedly said "yes" to escalating life-sustaining measures, creating conflict between what Gabby believed he'd want and what he voiced. When Ben suddenly deteriorated, Gabby arrived to find a chaotic CPR code and ultimately told the team to stop, allowing Ben's final minutes to be quieter with his daughter. They discuss how traumatic and violent CPR can be for medically fragile patients, how staff must follow expressed wishes without prior directives, and the importance of advance directives, POLST/MOST forms, and clearly communicated plans so loved ones can confidently honor a person's choices. 00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer 00:29 Meet Host and Guest 02:31 Ben Hospitalized Reunion 04:16 Wakes Up and Choices 07:51 Code Blue Saying Stop 10:38 Aftermath and Regrets 12:22 CPR Trauma Explained 20:08 Advance Planning Tools 26:58 Marie's Brothers Story 32:08 When CPR Helps or Hurts 34:47 Have the Conversation 36:12 Final Takeaways and Goodbye https://www.thehospiceheart.net/ If you want to help, you can donate to help support Hospice Explained at the Buy me a Coffee link   https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Hospice  Hospice Explained Affiliates & Contact Information Buying from these Affilite links will help support this Podcast.  Maire introduces a partnership with Suzanne Mayer RN inventor of the  cloud9caresystem.com,  When patients remain in the same position for extended periods, they are at high risk of developing pressure injuries, commonly known as bedsores. One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is the tendency for pillows and repositioning inserts to easily dislodge during care.(Suzanne is a former guest on Episode #119) When you order with Cloud 9 care system, please tell them you heard about them from Hospice Explained.(Thank You) Marie's Contact [email protected] www.HospiceExplained.com   Finding a Hospice Agency 1. You can use Medicare.gov to help find a hospice agency, 2. choose Find provider 3. Choose Hospice 4. then add your zip code This should be a list of Hospice Agencies local to you or your loved one.