199: Digging Deeper into Parenting Beyond Power with Rachel Disney

Listener Rachel also reached out with some questions, and due to my book tour schedule it took us a little longer to get a call on the calendar, but eventually - on a day in Seattle when I also had a coaching call and two two-hour workshops based on the book - we made it happen.   Rachel's questions go deeeep. She wanted to know:   If there are ideas I logically know are the right ones to follow but I still have trouble doing it; How my parenting is evolving as Carys gets older (her own daughter is a year older than Carys); Whether I think my view of parenting is possible within the social and political systems in which we currently live.   Parenting Beyond Power Do you want to change the way you parent and make a positive impact on your family and the world?   Parenting Beyond Power is your key to unlocking this transformative path.   Embrace a fresh parenting approach, nurturing collaborative and harmonious connections with your children, all while contributing to a more inclusive and equitable world for all.   So don't hesitate – start transforming your parenting journey today, and grab your copy of Parenting Beyond Power now to get started! Click the banner to learn more.     Taming Your Triggers Do you often find yourself caught in the whirlwind of your child's challenging behavior?   Are you seeking ways to foster calm and connection in your parenting journey, even during the most trying moments?   Look no further—Taming Your Triggers will help.   If you: Often feel triggered by your child’s difficult behavior… Want to find out how to get your child to stop doing the thing that drives you up the wall Know you want to respond calmly to your child but can’t seem to do it in the moment… Want to parent with love and connection even on the most stressful days Feel like gentle parenting techniques won’t ‘work’ with your child Then Taming Your Triggers is for you.   This workshop will empower you with the tools, insights, and support to navigate the ups and downs of parenting with confidence. It helps in all relationships - spouses and parents/in-laws too!   Join the waitlist to get notified when doors reopen.     Jump to highlights 01:20  Introducing today’s guest and topic 03:51  Rachel asks how the content of Parenting Beyond Power differs from that of the podcast 07:19  Rachel appreciates the comprehensiveness of the book and asks if there will be another on the topic of Taming Your Triggers. 07:56  Jen recommends a related book and emphasizes the value of community support for deep inner work in changing reactions to triggers. 08:46  Rachel asks whether power is inherently bad, specifically in the context of parents having power. 14:01  Jen warns against using parental power to control love and belonging through conditional rewards, leading to an unhealthy dynamic with children. 15:12  Rachel asks Jen about personal struggles applying podcast principles, questioning if difficulties persist despite knowing they're right. 19:32  Jen emphasizes recognizing resistance in both children and adults and discusses the trifecta of frustration, anger, and resentment as indicators of unmet needs for parents and children. 21:39  Jen discusses how she reconciles being research-based when acknowledging the biases in the research. 26:42  Rachel asks how Jen measures success. 28:18  They explore whether it's reasonable to ask parents, especially White parents, to challenge societal norms and emphasize the collective responsibility to confront and dismantle systems rooted in White supremacy. 32:28  The conversation mentions the overrepresentation of participants with one or two children, speculating on political leanings. Jen affirms her parenting approach's relevance for families with more children. 36:00  Jen talks about her hopes for readers and what she wants them to take away from the book. 39:33  Rachel acknowledges understanding the book's emphasis on building a better society through individual change. 40:23  Wrapping up the discussion