2 - Lipnicki's Law

Real good, real good. Real good, real good, real good. Real good, real good, real good, real good. Real good engage, real good, real good.

Ladies and gentlemen, hello and welcome back to episode two! Yes, real good show picked up for the sequel. We are happy to be here. Justin Morrison- With you once again it's just the three of us, no guests for this one because this is an emergency convening for a podcast that we were not planning to do until things went a little sideways over the last 24 hours or so in professional sports, the ones that we care about anyways, And we did a big introduction of course last week as to who we are.

I'm not going to do that this time around, though. I will say that people had trouble differentiating our voices a little bit. I'm Justin, so we'll start with that. And I think people also had trouble figuring out which archetype we fit into, like which one's the stupid one, which one's the silly one.

We're all the stupid one. Yeah, I think so. I'm for sure. But yeah, I'm Justin and I will hand it over to you, goofs.

I'm Stefan. Did my voice sound like everyone else? I don't think so. I actually, that's so weird that you say that because I actually thought when I listened back to the first episode, I was like, this is actually a great mix of three voices for podcasts because none of us sound alike.

So I think some people, maybe this is like their first podcast or just like all white dudes sounds like. Yeah, I think everyone who listens to us is an idiot. Yeah, we're just going to throw that. We are too.

We just have to establish that. We're not putting ourselves above you, ladies and gentlemen. It is real good to show the worst podcast on earth. Brought to you by FreshLice.

That's right. FreshLice. We're still making fun of them again this week. Well, they paid us to me.

Yes, they are sponsored. Well, we'll get right to it because it is July the second that we are recording this dropping on the morning of the third and yesterday was the beginning of free agency. We were planning to talk about like the draft when we were going to get together for an episode like a week from now and we will still do that episode of week from now. Looking forward to it.

Got a guest lined up so we can tease that a little bit. I mean, some stuff happened at the draft. And there's definitely stuff to get into there, but it was largely overshadowed by the absolute bonkers madness that took place on the morning of July the first. Yes, free agent frenzy and what a free agent frenzy.

It was not a great crop of free agents in this year's class, which is why a lot of trades were made. And unfortunately for fans of the Vancouver Canucks like myself and for fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs like you, John. It was not so great. No, I mean, I have a better candidate.

Yeah, there's a candidate where I thought on a flight stairs and that was like substantially better. Is that your is that your like wish of the week? Like last week you said that you would get hit by a car if it could end Lugus Jesus career as a game about this fall and on the stairs? No, I think it would be the car thing again, but I would actually like pay to get hit by the car.

Like I would throw down the point of my car. I'll hit you in my car. I should be so. I would say a lot of the small to hatchback.

You could really play into me really. Can we talk briefly before we get into the trades about Lucas Bisa again a little bit because I first of all, I'm very surprised that it took us an hour to even mention his name in episode number one that showed some prime restraint on all of our parts. I feel well, you too. I don't care that much of that.

That's that's months of therapy on my part. But when I was publishing the episode like to send it to iTunes, you're supposed to attach like a similar rating system as you would to like a TV show. So I picked TV 14 or like 14 MA was the rating I gave it and then it asks you for the reasons and it's like suggestive language and like sexual content. I guess we talked about big countries, Dick.

So I had that was purely like anatomical. Scientific. But the bottom option is like violence and I didn't want to click it, but I felt like maybe I have to also. I'm not sure.

Well, hockey is an inherently violent sport. Yeah. So I should probably just click it every time. Yeah.

All right. Well, that's good to know. And we rolled cheese and carpet. Yeah, we did.

We did. If we go back to the country's dick for a second, yes, we got somebody reached out to us as a dick expert. Well, step in small. Yeah, my mom.

That's not your mom's joke. No, it's definitely. So what she said, we determined that to big country, I think John came up with this is that relatively small, no matter what. Yeah.

But my mom's like, well, chances are it's going to be like proportion, it's like proportionally, you know, regular to his, just probably got a big dick because he's a big dude. So that's anyway, she's a nurse. I don't know if that helps. Well, speaking of fat athletes or fat fleets as I like to tell them, let's talk about the trade that has John Cullinol upset.

And it is the move of Phil Kessel from the Toronto Maple Leafs over to the Pittsburgh Penguins. Yeah. How are you feeling? Well, okay.

I should preface this by saying that Phil Kessel is my favorite player from the NHL. And I just because when I played hockey, I loved to score like wrist shot goals, not that I was like a superstar or Phil Kessel, but I that was my preferred method of scoring. So when someone is a great shooter, I love it. And then I just loved Kessels like nonchalance like the like on 24 seven when he's like, yeah, people think athletes have this like crazy life.

Mostly we just sit around and don't do shit. Like this guy's the best. And then he comes in training camp and tells the Toronto media that he maybe skated 10 times this time. That was mostly fishy.

Like what a beauty dude. And so I just love him as a guy. Well, there's the Olympic pictures to this promo pictures. Well, exactly.

Which is unbelievable. I believe I've ever seen it. So this is what I wanted to bring to the podcast today is part of the reason I always like Phil Kessel that this is the reason that I love Phil Kessel is because speaking of the Olympics, the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, I actually met Phil Kessel. He was walking, he was just walking down the street with Bobby Ryan and it was like, you're like right across the street from the McDonald's.

I don't know why I thought this at the time. But I was like, oh, this would be really funny if I like get Phil Kessels like signed something from McDonald's because I just thought that would be super hilarious. So I went up to him and I was like, hey, man, like, you know, I met him heard ever and I was like, this is gonna sound super weird. But like, are you just gonna kind of be like walking on the street?

Because I really want to just like get some fries from McDonald's and get you to sign the box. And so he goes, he goes, oh, you're going to McDonald's. I'll come. So we went to McDonald's and we just I ate McDonald's with Phil Kessels while you're right.

And the whole time I'm like, you get this for free in the Olympic Village, but he left the Olympic Village to pay for McDonald's. And so yeah, at home, I have a signed Phil Kessel big macbook. That is spectacular. Now here's a question you have to ask yourself.

Is any of that story true? And the answer is no, but the entire time you were listening that you're like, that sounds totally plausible. Yes. And I'm 100.

I believe you do. I still do. I like can picture the light in his eyes as you were like, I'm just about to go into this McDonald's and he is like, oh, that's something I can do. Yeah.

So this is why Phil Kessel is my favorite player in the NHL because I'm telling that story and at no point is anyone listening to podcast going, oh, John's probably full of shit. So, so very disappointing day, but I will say for a long time, I have said that, man, could you imagine if Phil Kessel had a real center now he's going to be playing with Crosby or Malcolm and then on the power play probably both. Yeah, exactly, which is nuts. Like I have no doubt whatsoever.

I would call it a 100% lock. You can put it in. Yeah, I'm telling you to bet on it right now. Just in luck.

Yes. Here we go. Absolutely. The Kessel is going to lead the leading goals next year.

100%. I think there's no other player who was going to come close. It's possible. They're saying he's going to work out with Gary Roberts in the summer.

And he also, the thing with, yeah, with the thing with Phil is that he is also a very underrated passer. So like he could easily get 90 to 100 points. I mean, he got over 80 points playing with Bozak and Joffrey Luebol. If he's on the first unit power play with both Malcolm and Crosby and then his twin.

And his twin. That's how I look at it. That's. And his plane even strength minutes with let's say Crosby is going to be his regular center all season long.

I'm going to say that Phil Kessel is going to score like 70 goals next year. I don't think he's going to team was long, but he is going to score a lot and he's going to 60. Yeah, I was having this conversation with my roommate this morning. He's like, oh, 70 is like a bit much, but like 50 for sure.

Yeah. If you're like, certainly between 50 and 70 goals, like he's going to be really good. Yeah, absolutely. And that's the thing.

So disappointed for myself and for the team, but happy for Phil, I venture to say he may still remain my favorite player in the league. And I didn't think the return was as bad as a lot of people are saying. Kind of sucks that you guys have to retain salaries. Yeah, I just I just really wish that yeah, it sucks for me.

There goes my 50 50. But yeah, no, it just it's unfortunate because I think that had the Toronto had they played it a little differently. They might have got more for Kessel, but they really like just drove his value into the ground. And then made it very clear they were going to shop them.

So yeah, little disappointed with the return, but not as much as other people. I didn't think it was like a total loss. That is decent. Captain, I think will be a solid player.

I always liked Harrington too. I mean, I don't know if he's going to be like, he's not a stud, but I think he's a serviceable demon and solid. It's going to be really fun to watch our teams battle for Austin Matthews. Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. I would say that the probably the most disappointing part of the Phil Kessel trade is not anything to do with Phil himself, but the way the media is kind of putting his head on a pike now that he's out the door and you were talking about it. Well, I mean, they were doing that way. Of course they were.

Yeah, they were blaming him for everything. You see, Steve Simmons, I'm pretty sure even went on the radio today and said that Phil Kessel is 100% responsible for the firings of Carlisle, for the firings of Ron Wilson for known as for like everyone who's been fired from the leaves over however long, Kessel is the reason. And that's impressive. Yeah, if he's like a GM killer or he's like the James of hockey, I guess, like he's running his own team.

Well, I just think that Steve Simmons, I think we can all agree more than any other journalist is so unhappy that he never made it as an athlete. Yeah. And then he sees Phil Kessel and he's like, Jesus Christ, this guy. And I'm not and he is.

But the reason that you're like McDonald's story is so believable is because one of the details that was published in Simmons story this morning is that a street meet vendor in Toronto said that Phil Kessel was coming to him to buy a hot dog every single day. Yeah, but how do you even how does Simmons even know that? Like does did the guy legitimately call the paper and be like, well, that's what guys. Oh, Mr.

Simmons, hot school. Yeah, exactly. Hot dogs every day. It wasn't even believe it.

You would not believe it. Kessel again today. It's not like he's not like playing sports all day, though, too. You can afford a hot dog a day if you're like a professional athlete.

Yeah, who gives a shit? I mean, that's like Keith Olderman was saying that he's like, oh, he ate one hot dog a day. He's like, how many hot dogs do you think both men could share his eat during the game, basically? I want to talk about this too in terms of just athletes who are not what we think of as like traditional athletic bodies because like I feel like that's just a lot of bullshit that like people look at say Phil Kessel or Kyle Wellwood or, well, in the case of big country rebs, it was pretty legit.

But even maybe not so much what they look like now when they came into the league and particularly for the forward of these two fellows I'm about to mention, we're dominating the scoring race. Rick Nash and Drew Dodie are both like a little on the punch side. Yeah, at least like. Dody was like when he if you look at pictures of him in his last year in wealth, yeah, like, Dody had like he had the opposite of the freshman 15 when he got to the kings.

Like he lost 15 pounds because they were like, you can't really look like this. Kind of like baby weight though. Yeah, it was really five or so when they looked like they were 13 or whatever. But the thing with Kessel, I don't understand is like, okay, you look at Tyler Seguin who is like a chiseled sculpt of a man like it, you know, nuts and Kessel dusted him in the fastest heater in the ulcer.

Yeah, like so it doesn't really matter what the fastest stator in any of those cheeseburgers. It's almost like he's like a professional athlete or something. Yeah, almost like yeah, it's super. But like, you know, you look at like people who are like marathon runners, people who do like distance running with extreme endurance and like high the highest of high end cardio.

Yeah, they don't look like bodybuilders. They don't have bodies like Ryan Kessler posing in an ESPN magazine or whatever. Like yeah, they're skinny as hell. Yeah, they're Tyler Johnson basically.

Yeah, if I go to Tanger Tarr, have you seen those videos of people at the end of Iron Man marathons when they're all just like shaking and like collapsing? Yeah, I don't see that's really funny. I'm just pitching like Bill Kessel standing up just covered in like cheeseburger wrappers and his like body is doing the same sort of shaking. You mentioned wellwood though.

We've all seen the picture of wellwood at the pool, right? Yeah, well, the best picture of wellwood was from a Canucks road trip where he's like loading his plate with salad, looking longingly at the spaghetti cart. I think it's like Rob Davison or something and some scrub defense men that we used to have that the Canucks used to have. I was loading a plate with noodles or whatever and wellwood at the salad bar just like so sad puppy dog guys.

Not even looking at Davison, just looking at the noodles. Forget you wellwood. Wellwood's one of my favorite Canucks of all time. I love the guy.

And again, it doesn't matter what you look like. All that matters is if you can play like that is what it should be the case and that kind of brings us full circle back to Zac Cassian because that's the indefensively stupid move of the week that the Canucks made because apparently we're doing a new one every single week lately. Zac Cassian and a fifth round pick dealt to the Montreal Canadiens for Brandon Prust. Yes, you heard that right.

Is the Canucks giving up the pick, not the Canadiens as Vancouver deals a 24 year old winger for a 31 year old? Future list. Whatever. He can play also.

He's not a bad player, but he's not a powerful word. He's not what Zac Cassian could become. And I think I saw a reaction from a lot of people who don't like Cassian. For me, he was one of my favorite class of several seasons.

That's, you know, oh, this is the rocks he will never recover from this. The rocks he needs to retire his number. Or like, if you want to start a youth movement and bring in prospects into this group, like, a guy like Cassian is a very bad role model because he likes to have some fucking drinky poos every now and then. Who cares?

Can he play the game in a successful, positive, contributing manner 100% yes? And when you trade a guy away who can do that, it doesn't matter if he likes to party. Do you think Tyler Sagan loves to party? Absolutely 100% he does, probably nobody in the league more, but he gets to party because he earned it.

He's awesome. So here's my two big problems with with the Cassian thing. I just love it. That rans.

You're just, yeah, I mean, I would, if I was thinking of any player comparison. For Zach Cassian and it's Tyler Sagan. Well, just like, just anybody complaining about any athlete liking to drink at all. I think it's hard for Kane and Zach.

It doesn't, like, unless you're going crazy on the nose candy, Shane O'Brien style, I don't care. Like, I just don't care if you like to drink. It doesn't matter. Can you play the game?

Yes or no? Yes or no? Zach Cassian is not here right now. Jim Benning is outside with his dogs.

That's what you were getting barks about in episode one. So I'm assuming he can hear me again. My two things with the Cassian trade though. I'm fired up.

I'm all ganked up. You know, he's like, you're pacing around right now. The two things I have with it is that Benning completely pigeonholed Cassian. He's like, you know, he wasn't bringing the toughness, you know, we don't want him playing a skill game or whatever.

But like, you just talked about Phil Castle as an underappreciated passer. I'm not going to say that Cassian is on a level of Phil Castle. Not even close, but the guy can dish the puck. Yeah.

I'd say after the siddines in like, for Vada, it's in terms of like, saucer passing and just amazing passes. Cassian would surprise people. And we gave him up for another goon. Derek Dorsey 2.0.

Somebody on my Twitter, the gentleman who was the play-by-play voice of the Summer Land steam. Whatever. Shh. That is the key.

That's the key. The steam. It's a kettle. Probably.

Is there a mascot? You know who probably fucks that team up is the trail smoke eaters. Yes. Well, they're in different leagues.

But regardless, Tim Hong, it was tweeted at me the other day when I was yelling at the heavens. I thought it was a bad trade to begin with. And then it's like, well, we got a pick back. I guess it's a fifth pick.

It sucks anyways. But it's a pick. That was the first before. Yeah.

And then it's like Bob McKenzie comes up and is like, hold up, fellas. Wait, just a second. It's Van Coover. It gives up the pick.

And I shit, you not. And it just looked up and went, ah, it felt pretty good. I was laughing. I just I was laughing.

I just yelled in agony. I laughed for like 20 seconds. Just like, what? What?

It was just stunning. Because you know that Bob McKenzie loves those moments too, because he knows how stupid a lot of Canucks fans are. And he's just like, just like. Just like, um, and boys.

It's fun that you're already upset by the way. Just like, uh, you know, it's so awesome. I love that about McKenzie. Just slides it in, but yeah, I was like, what the heck is he doing?

Like, acquiring, what kind of team is he building? And the play-by-play voice of the Summerlands name who I believe his name is Tim Hogg. Great name. That's what I would have guessed.

He went whole hog on this one. He said that he was acquiring bodyguards. He's got doors that flank him on the one side and now pressed on the other. Because he knows it's not safe.

He's hearing your threats uttered against him, Stefan. Once again, jokes. Anyways, Mark Bergervan, his press conference about the Cassian trade said, yeah, you know, we view him as like a skilled guy. You know, like, why would I?

Well, he's a skilled guy. And look at what Montreal did with Dale Wiese, who was significantly less skilled than Zac Cassian and equally shit on by John Torrella in particular. And then he never really caught the end. Bergervan said he wants Cassian playing.

I don't know if I misheard this, but with the Pecanich and Patrick Reddy. That'd be amazing. Yeah, he'll get 45 points next year. I would say 50.

Yeah, I like, I've always liked that Cassian. Yeah. And when he broke Sam Ganyu's jaw. Yeah.

It was fantastic. Montreal fans are going to love him. Oh, yeah. And I might just become a Montreal fan myself because there's not a whole lot that's going to draw me to watch in Canucks games next season.

Because really, like, I don't want to say that I don't like any of the players left because that's not true. It means at this point, like, legacy players, you can't hold them to the same standard as far as something to get excited for. It's still a dream to watch them. Yeah.

It's like, right now, we've got Horvat, we've got Tanev, and we used to have LAC and Cassian. Those were my guys. Half my guys are gone. I don't like them.

But I mean, Brandon Frost. Here's the thing with the Brandon Frost thing. I don't know if Benning knows what the refs think of the Canucks generally. Because I want to be all the conspiracy.

The Canucks don't get the benefit of the dough. No. And I think for good reason. They've kind of called out the refs for years.

I was just trying to help. And burrows. And they've got a lot of shit. But I require probably a guy who called out the refs in the fight like last year.

That's not going to help things. Yeah. Well, can we go back for a second? Can we rewind the clock to whatever shitty day it was that they announced the deals to resign Spisa and Dorset at the same time?

Oh, my God. That was the day my fandom died essentially. The only way that I could justify that. And this is not a justification.

But if a team needs to be made up of all different types, then you need some hard-hitting meat and potato, I'm putting air quotes up, folks. I hope you can tell. Style players. These are the dumb players that this team wants.

Then hopefully they have them and they don't need any dumb stupid players anymore. That's what I hoped anyways. But then it makes a trade like that and apparently not. Yeah.

And then obviously the firing today too. That's another bullshit. I'm just at this point, I fully expect Wake Up Tomorrow morning. Derek Dorset is the captain of the Bank of Rickinox.

Jim Benning is beating Henry's knee to death with an iron pipe. I'm not an iron pipe. Yeah. I'm just so...

And to read, I'm obviously not an insider. I make a podcast where I make fun of fresh slice and threaten to murder people, apparently. I'm certainly by this podcast. Real-to-show.

But to read Botchford, Talbot, essentially Jason Botchford of the province, was making it sound like the guys who got sacked this morning, who were all leftovers, holdovers from the Mike Gillis era. Lawrence Gillman got fired. Lauren Henning got fired. They're both assistant general managers and the director of Player Personal, Eric Crawford, also sacked.

Probably because they were looking at those three guys in particular in the roles that they had looking at the hockey deals that Benning made over the last week and a half between dealing with lack for nothing at the draft and dealing with Cassie and Perpina on July 1st and saying, hey man, these trades kind of suck a lot. Maybe you shouldn't do them. This is not a good way to spend assets and then they all woke up fired this morning. So that's a cool way to run your hockey team is just make sure that all dissenting voices towards the shitty decisions you want to make.

But get fired. Descent is bad though, right? Because it's like someone saying no to you. So you don't want that.

You want everyone to get the same page. So I can see where Benning's not. The dictatorship was. You do it.

You're not going to get an Assistant GM. You are not on board with division. They're not true Assistant GM. We're just going to get another course.

Get them out. Terrible. All right, well, this was not as jokey as I would have liked because I was. You fucking yelled.

You were actually legitimately angry at someone and something. I don't know. It's pretty hard to be jokey when I'm scared I'm going to get Lucas Beezing. I'm just going to flip this table, I'm going to be rolled up in a carpet and shut down the stairs.

But I know that all of our listeners are tuning in to hear about the John Cullen roller reports. Yes. There we go. I know what?

We're a show of the people. Daddy the people are mad daddy hot times Okay Well, thank you. Yeah, so for another edition of John pellets roller report. Thank you Yeah, so today I was at rollerblading and it was felt like a very seminal moment in my early rollerblading career for those of you If you're listening just tuning in to the second episode didn't listen to the first I'm turning 30 this year and to celebrate my 30-year-old crisis.

I bought a pair of rollerblades So now I've had them for about two weeks not even we can have and so I was at rollerblading today I got my first dirty look from a skateboarder, which I didn't even know was still a thing obviously when I was a kid It was like very uncool. Yeah, very uncool rollerblades in West Coast rafts and the Jets It was definite sharks and jets West Side Story talking about the football team in the hockey team. Yeah, yeah Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so it's a big The era of the Atlanta thrashers and jets and yeah, so it was just it was so nice to know that that's like still alive I just was rolling just rolling down the street guy was skateboarding by me just kind of gave me to like I just rolled his eyes at me.

I guess the rollerblading group would be the thrashers though, right? They would be absolutely yeah because we thrash hard. It was funny when I bought my I bought my blades the guy that sold them to me. There is a rollerblade specific store that I bought them from.

He's like a $7,000 Yes, yeah, he makes one sale a month in his business. Yeah, absolutely He's with 5050 rollerblades and so I went to the store It's called shop task and then girl throw them a little plug maybe they'll give me a discount on some wheels or something I'll just sponsor the pack. That's because that's good plug Absolutely Shop task, you know, the preferred choice of people who hate skateboard 1992 and yeah, so I bought them from there and where was I going with this I lost my thread I don't know you were thrashing hard. Oh thrashing The guy actually said it because I was asking how long the wheels will last he's like wow, you know I should last quite a bit like I've been thrashing in my blades and I go hard.

So I was just like he was wearing a no-fear shirt I was wearing a tank. He looks like he lives in his van. Okay, but that is also like super in the rollerblade So it was pretty pretty good. So anyway lives on the sea wall in a parking lot right next to the sea.

Absolutely. Yeah, just hitting it thrashing hard So yeah, so that's this week's roller report. Thank you all I know you were waiting with baited breath To hear what was going on with my blades and I already know what I'm gonna talk about on the next episode to the next rollerboard I'm just stacking up roller reports here. So thank you all right Well, if we're giving updates then on things that we talked about in the first show We already talked again about big country stick and that was my thing Yeah, yeah, and hot dogs also Phil Kessel loved him some hot dogs not a sandwich the roller reports And I talked about of course a girl who told me that she had Sydney Crosby's skates And I screwed up that story a little bit it was not a camp that was put on by Crosby's that Troy was there helping out put on by This girl's uncle and they swap skates from when Crosby was 10 years old So these are 10 year old Crosby skates and they still fit her Yeah, they fit her and I got to touch them and we talked quite a bit last week about the film like Mike and How when you wear the shoes of Michael Jordan you become Michael Jordan?

Well to be fair they were struck by lightning Okay, obviously that as you know, yes, just being Jordan's shoes is not enough now I think we need to go to like one of our future podcast episode should be on location at a nice rink to see Like Mike's situation while I did was touch the skates and I don't think I can fit them But I can't move my hands true I can't escape and shoot the fuck with my feet and if I could do that then I know they work out But I think they work already. I'm going to posit gentlemen that by the transit of power of bow Wow the power isn't me because when we talked about this last week, it was just some girl talking me about Sydney Crosby skates and when we come back again this week that girl is my girlfriend So I believe in his lip nikki's law that states he who holds the shoes holds the moves or holds the gentleman I pause it but I hold that's better. I'm he who holds the shoes holds the boobs Sure, I'm gonna be super pumped when we get to like episode. I'll give you a till well We should be bet on what episode they'll no longer be It's gonna be when you try and like steal the skates.

Yeah, I think your girlfriend's like she seems lovely and everything is set about her is great And I've seen some pictures. She looks really cute, but it's just like we have to bet on this So I'll let you can go first. I mean, I'll say I already gave my lock of the week I don't know cuz I have the relationships of ten year old cause me now. Yeah, I see it was quite the player I suppose so yeah I'll give it to I mean, I Halloween something like how you know how we're gonna try and dress up as Sydney Crosby like I need the skates And that will take it just a step too far yeah Halloween's also my birthday So I'll turn 30 lightning will strike your relationship lens that would actually be a great costume If you get like a timbit stirs you that somehow fit you cuz they're only like I think they only go out guys You know the first goal is having fun.

That's true. Absolutely. So I think you should go as a 10 year old's in your Halloween that'd be a great costume. I'm not gonna shave my beard either No, no, no, no, this is a shitty costume Okay, so you're saying Halloween so I'm get that'd be about episode 20 ish maybe roughly not even quite 15 Yeah, yeah, we're going every two weeks from now until the fall so okay, so you'll say episode 15.

I'm less optimistic I'm gonna go episode 9 alright. I'm gonna go 9 for 9 for Paul Korea. I'm not betting. No, you actually get it horrible trouble So nothing you can say here.

Yeah, I'm not gonna say I'm listening at home. We will check back in episode 9 Where bats also yeah, please really your bets send us your bets Send us your tweets at real good show and you can also email us at or there's an at in front of an email Real good pod at gmail. Okay. There you go real good pod at gmail.com tell us how long you think Justin and City Grazi escapes will last and you can send us money to like that Also a Habs fan by the way, yeah, you would right next to me when the Cassian trade went down I told her what the deal was and when I told her that it was the Canucks who gave up the pick She just openly laughed up roriously in my face.

So I was a really nice thing Like already sounds awesome. Well, yeah, yeah, she's pretty good But they can send his money to bed on this whole thing sure. Yeah, yeah, or they can just ask money for no reason Yeah, that's what a lot of our comment on the patreon when you think we'll break up so yeah One of our kick starters is donate one of the kick starters is if you donate 50 no, sorry You don't need eighty seven dollars in this podcast Then $40 of that we'll go to an overunder episode then we'll use we'll use episode 7 said 15 we'll use episode 15 as the overunder so please again Well, our kickstarter is coming very soon. Yes, you know there as a perk eighty seven dollars and part of that will go to and if you donate $1,000 to the podcast that would be really cool.

Yeah, that's the perk. Yeah, it's just really cool. You really need so please do that Yeah, we would smile. That's the perk Okay, let's get to the mailbag boys.

We got it. Yeah, this is a bonus. So do we weren't planning to do this but the last 24 hours were pretty Whacky, of course. So here we are.

This is my fault. I apologize to listeners You're very I messaged the boys I was like listen too much shit has happened to our teams we got to get together and do an episode before but the people also demanded it That's true. They were not really pleased about it yesterday I was getting all kinds of messages and tweets like I need to hear you rage and I raged Yeah, I didn't I personally was sitting here thinking this probably isn't what the people want But if you told me something about me mad man It's all good right with you theory road out there Shiny chrome. All right, let's We're not even gonna take a break.

Let's keep this gravy train rolling on biscuit wheels into The Twitter mailbag I guess we get one's we do great questions very inspired questions this week also very some very messed up questions. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean we'll touch on some of those Well, okay, I mean I'll start off this is from at 80 x 7 who whose Twitter avatar is snowy from tinton Okay, nice one of my all-time favorite Also was the most expensive comic for a long time. It's not anymore. Also was the number one for a little while well whatever Egyptians in all right.

Well, this is Belgian. I guess yeah, that's just Belgium anyway the question for whatever We can set up yeah So if you were a boxer who would be in your entrance entourage in my entrance entourage a good question Tim Tim would be in my entrance on to our intent yet like who played him in the movie even it was Jamie Bell the guy from Billi Elliott would you want him in your corner? No, Timtinti cartoon People be freaked out if there's a fucking cartoon lock exactly when you win auto the other boxer is just staring at the gate Yeah, yeah, and I would also bring in whatever the old lady is that sings the anthem of the Montreal Canadiens games Whenever Jeanette to I can't remember name Canadian fans tweet very mad at us Yeah, I'd be like how do you oh Jeanette Reno isn't it or no? That's the secretary of saying her turn general whatever Okay, so she would be doing all my ring introductions in French obviously And yeah, I walk out with Timton and And Brian big country Reeves Finally get the answer exactly And Phil Castle and Grimace from McDonald's mascot fame.

Okay. Yeah, that's it Tintin grimace a naked big country bright leaves and Phil Castle with all right and I think her name is actually Jeanette Reno, but I've got it anyway you guys don't I can yeah, I'm on the clock. Yeah, all right I'm also going to have a cartoon in my entrance because if you like just take some of the heat off me And I want to pick a cartoon who I feel like could have something like that Don King flamboyance He's already rocking a beautiful suit Babar the elephant is going to be in my corner leaving under the ring He's definitely gonna be there. I would hope that Muhammad Ali could come out with me too, but he's probably not available So I will settle for Michael J Fox instead Who else I don't know Babar Michael J Fox I'm sorry guys, I didn't think it would get worse than murdering this beautiful is I'm saying okay I'm saying this because back to the future is on the TV that's over step and shoulder right now, but only I can see it so Okay, that's kind of what I thought it was yeah Box he has less parking so that's what you were saying.

No, okay. I'm way nicer boy than that by the way. I'm right. It's Jeanette Reno Okay, all right.

All right. Well, anyway, I think what you guys failed to Talk about here is that in this question we're like boxers. Yeah, and I would make a terrible boxer So my entourage would be professional box. No, I don't know I think turtle from entourage should still be in your entourage though I have one of the entourage guys I guess who's the one who's like kind of dick He's always gonna trouble and he's like all of my guess Which one of them is doing the movie no I would it would be several like bigger stronger boxers who would box for me I would be like I'm in the entourage.

I do my entourage. Okay. No, I think it's acceptable. Yeah I'm a coward now too that there's like a mequare your style battle suit that is in my entourage I'm like an weird in the ring also.

Okay, I find like the change in the rules Which gives a shit it's a clear bill. We have to that question free well. I think so too. Yeah, great job Okay, well, this was my favorite one and this comes from at Mike fail Mike succeeded on this question.

He absolutely Edit that one too He asks if you could dunk on anyone who would you dunk on now? Is this anyone in all of you anyone ever well? He doesn't say but I'm yeah And it could be like an animal too. Okay, I'm gonna giraffe wouldn't be too bad That would be really hard doesn't super tall, but you get to think anyone I would imagine you get to do it Oh, I see okay.

Oh, right. Yeah, but this like the only dunk I ever get to do in my life Let's say for the sake of this question. Yes, I only get one dunk in my life. Yeah, I'm gonna be Okay, well, I know this is like the most boring answer So I'm not gonna pick it by me to say it anyways and I'll go with my real choice LeBron James obviously Yeah, right now Not like I don't have to get into a time machine because like 15 years from now 20 25 I would never stop telling this story ever in my whole life Hey guys remember when LeBron James was in the prime of his career and was like pretty much the best player on earth And we all agreed even though that he lost in the NBA finals He was amazing and absolutely the best that will be on James remember him.

Yeah, I posturize to him Well, okay, who's the name of poster? I'm just dunking on him. No, he didn't say poster. I'll just be like a dunk Okay, well, I would love to dunk on LeBron James.

That's not who I'm gonna pick though I'm gonna take it all the way back to my own basketball plan days Elementary school basketball my head coach Mr. Ewan he was also the elementary school librarian real weird guy Yeah, I mean the only thing about practices that I remember is like the first practice that we ever had He made us like lie down on the floor in the gymnasium with our eyes closed And we all had to visualize the perfect basketball shot and then he made us like we're all just scribe it to him He's just going around the room like what is your perfect? It goes in the basket I have the ball and then I let it go and it arcs and then it's a switch perfect switch every answer was I'm nine no idea. So I remember those practices and from everything that I learned about basketball with him as my coach I'm gonna go back now and me and my current age and him and his current age whatever he is Used to be the librarian of high-level entry getting dunked on yeah, you're getting dunked on bro.

He's definitely listening I'm sure I guarantee it. Yeah Well, I actually thought it'd be fun if you if I could like dunk on an ex-girlfriend That was my first time in response, but then I realized I really like the ultimate I'm doing better than you absolutely and while I'm going to just relax But but then I realized one of my like famous like moments was with an ex-girlfriend was I was dating this girl And she was really into basketball like played all the way up through high school And she was really into and I always and I taught even talk last week on the podcast about how I hate basketball And it's my worst sport like I've always been a pretty decent athlete in most sports But basketball has always been terrible at so we decide one day we're gonna play horse and we both get ice and somehow playing decently And we both are tied at H.O.R.S. We're playing in this like fenced in basketball thing or does it? Yeah, sorry for those idiots It has any so the game's not quite over but the next basket's gonna win So I'm up and I decide I'm going to kick off the there was a fence around me I'm like okay, I'm about the three point distance I'm like okay You have to jump in the air kick the fence while you're in the air and then make a basket and I somehow made it It was like a fluke from the heavens like I'm terrible at basketball I kick off the fence that goes in she can't match it I beat her horse and she didn't talk to me for two cold days So anyway, I never talked to you She'll probably never talk to me again.

I would dunk on Bryant Reeves stick no We've gone back to that. We've gone back to the well-weighted many times It's kind of a thing. I feel that's a really shitty thing to do by the podcast So yeah, Brian Reeves, yeah, exactly Brian Reeves did it Um, this is actually a really hard question I feel like there's so many great choices Um, man, I'll let you go Stefan because you I think you have a prepared answer I do have a prepared answer I this is the perfect question. I've known this answer all my life I would travel back in time and I would dunk on Adolph Taylor Well, no question and I don't even know if it would change anything I don't think it would No, I don't know because I don't think that's a new addition to history I think you've done it already And that's like what prompted Hitler to drop out of art school.

He got dunked on Yeah, there's no one there Oh fuck Okay, then I- oh shit Well, you know what I'm doing again. It was too sweet. I remember it now I'm not here at the other resort You haven't done it yet, but it has happened No, this is a tomahawk jam Just rain his face as much as I fell off It was basically But can I just I just want to mention Um, this I read this tweet Uh, this is like a couple months ago and it stuck with me Because of how much was tweeted annoyed me And it was like so like smarmy and just like Fuck up its own ass And it was like I think you can tell a lot of society by the fact that Most people would go back in time and kill a kid rather than like encourage him to paint First of all, go fuck yourself If you kill him, none of that happens If you teach him to paint, he could still be like a nazi I mean, just like really good at painting Yeah, that's worse Yeah, he's like good at painting an Aussie He can hold his like military victories So I tend to be rolls through Keep it in the tone of our last episode I would go back in time and murder a little baby Hitler or whatever What's a basketball though? You jam so hard that you just cave to his face in this place Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my fault Yeah, so I would, if I make it clear to everyone, I would dunk on Adolf We are pro killing Hitler Yeah, the only podcast that is Yeah, I'd rather podcast You know than I just don't understand why other podcasts won't come out and say Where do you stay?

I would kill Hitler with a slandong Can you say the same thing? This sounds like a great space jam Space jam, Valkyrie? Yeah Tom Cruise and the Bill of Mary role Yeah, that's perfect I love it I can't talk that, I'll just let it stand I'll pick any one of my ex-girlfriends and I'll dunk on them Wow, I'm saying You can dunk on like Aikman or something I'll probably write things that are going on in my life I'll stick with the, I can't talk it You can't argue with it, there's nothing Logic is flawless It's already had the perfect answer Well, you haven't like dunked him to death yet, that one hasn't happened Now you actually have to do it to change history a second time Because the first time you tried to change it, it didn't work That would be great Mmhm We've got a few more here, we have one of our most ardent supporters General who's done a great deal of promotion with the podcast and we very much appreciate it Can Davy ask, my question How in the hell does Ronda Lorm still have a job? And for those of you who do not know who that is He was once the head scout, amateur scout of the Vancouver Canucks Not the head scout at the moment anymore I do believe Thomas Perdine has taken over Well, I think with, but he's still in the mix He's like pretty high up My understanding was now that Crawford's gone, it's delorem again Well, no, because Crawford was the head of player development He was the head of pro scouting for a little while I've heard that Benning is going to assume all of Crawford's duties Yeah, I saw that too But regardless, when I heard the Canucks had fired three people today I was ecstatic that it was going to be what happened in Edmonton a few weeks ago Where they just like got it all their scouts And no, the Canucks did not fire a single scout, unfortunately I'm going to say Ronda Lorm still has a job because If anyone out there has seen John Wick, the film John Wick, great movie If you haven't seen it, definitely do But there's like an evidence dungeon in that movie that gets like blown up by John Wick After he's like, people keep asking me if I'm back And you know what, I think I'm back It's way more badass than I just made it sound regardless There's like a locker full of like CDs and stuff of audio tapes Just it's all blackmail material Ronda Lorm has one of those against everyone in the entire hockey world Because it doesn't seem to matter who gets a job with the Canucks This guy cannot get fired My answer is that our franchise is incredibly stupid And it's run by Morons He makes the open face sandwiches also Yeah, with like the shrimp and the mayonnaise and stuff By the way, I played a bit of that for my friends And they were just like, what the fuck is that?

That's gross That's good man But you didn't even tell bread It's not plain bread, it's not like sandwich bread You buy like a baguette or something Oh, okay, see I was picturing just like a slice of like white bread I just can't believe you didn't toast it And that was a big thing, is that it was soft bread It's already got crunched, it's a baguette But you're putting shrimp on? Oh, right, it's a baguette Still? Yeah, it's got a toast Anyway, Ronda Lorm I think he didn't get fired because he dunked on Hitler How do you fire that guy, right? You're up That's true Also, a note to future Vailbaggers Don't ask us about scopes No one cares I mean, can you're a good guy But what give us Tell, I want to talk about an athlete's dick Or something cool like that Don't ask me about a head of scowing God, I got, I fell asleep halfway through the answer to that question That's a good sports question And for the first spot guys Two sports, yeah Two sports, yeah All right We did work out We are a sports show that faced that That's the top of the story We don't have way too much about sports this week guys Should we do the John Taffer?

I got a couple more here Just kidding, can you hear me? From Rene Bork, Bork's belt in the suite of Chefway How many expansion teams should the CFL have? That's his first part of his question And the second part is How many of them should be named the Rough Riders Or the Rough Riders Or the Rough Riders He's spelled them into the middle of his face One's with the hyphen, I see And one's without a space And one is in like the rap gang DMX Okay, yeah Yeah, I think Halifax should have some sort of major sports team Them are said so obviously very popular out there But like it's just weird to me that like the Canadian Football League, Blessed Soul Lost another quarterback again tonight This is the we'll talk of CFL generally for a second here I don't want to get too sporty But the reason that I find it's hard to get into the CFL As like a regular fan Everyone's fucking terrible But also like your star players that you want to build your brand around Are typically your quarterback, right? And they also work for TD Bank It's hard to get real fires up without that But it's my fucking teller But like the last two years anyways Like half of we're in the week two right now of the CFL season And half of the quarterbacks are already just dead Like Drew really got murdered during the season First of all, it kept the quarterback because there are nine teams in the CFL Okay, four and half of the three is half Like five of the starting quarterbacks are out She's more willy than Drew And it was disgusting that he took tonight You probably haven't seen it yet But watch the line No, I am going to see it It's gross Gross But like how do you get invested in like your star quarterback If the guy's like getting murdered in week one every season Because this happened to half the league last year He does none of them work out Which to answer the second part would be injured in the first week To answer the second part of the question, I think every team in the CFL Is already called the Rough Riders Okay, well I'm picking howl facts as an expansion team That would take the number up to 10 in the league too I think So that's a nice even number you get to have five in each conference And the Eastern Seaboard gets to have a team outside of the CHL Because they deserve one I think they could all band together and support Yeah, that stadium in Moncton Where the allettes play one game every year Yeah, so let's put a team there And call it the Rough Riders They can see them happen to Moncton It's the Moncton Rough Riders But what is that?

Well, that was the weirdest thing about the Women's World Cup They couldn't sell tickets in Moncton How's that even what are you doing in Moncton? That's better than watching the Women's World Cup Nothing Zero, what are you sailing? I don't know Maybe they're moving out of Moncton That's probably what it is Yeah, a lot of go And I'm just going to throw this in real quick There should be a team in Moncton obviously I mean who wouldn't cheer for the alert Bay Rough Riders I'd be all in and every player has to be from none of it The none of it is from the most of the show That's also a great name Or like the Akaloet none of it That's pretty good That works too? Yeah, that's good Do you have a final question for us here, Stefan?

Well yeah, and it kind of ties into our whole We've got the Taffer time Yes, yes, yes We do love our rescue here on the program And Stefan in particular loves it more than most And he's going to bring you right now The Taffer Tracker So this question comes from at Trail Guthrie And I think his name is actually Will Guthrie And he changed Will's to Trail Because it rhymes and like That's true, true and real So we don't know what's the combination of those two Anyway, yes, what sports franchise could most benefit From a John Taffer takeover scenario Okay, well we already went over it last week That almost every bar that John Taffer tries to rescue Does not end up getting rescued, right? They all fail afterwards, yeah Okay, well then I'll just pick the Canucks Because it doesn't seem like that's any worse than what's actually happening Well, and actually if they failed afterwards If they disbanded or that'd almost be better Yeah, just me I would rather that John Taffer is responsible for ruining the Canucks than Trevor Linden Because I at least want to like Trevor Linden How would he fix the Canucks? He'd be like, oh we installed like a cloud-based POS system Alright, you're selling craft beer now Wait, they did that last year Okay, we made the playoffs last year All because of bar Jones There's a lot of teams that could stand to have a John Taffer Come over Just to have their game at their election Or just yell at everybody Well, yeah, it's a thing Is he furious? Like, is he gonna be mad as I was mad earlier?

Oh, he gets mad earlier? Really? Yeah, serious He's a barter's man in the world It's really wonderful If you're listening to this, John, which I'm sure you are Someone's blocking me on Twitter Someone's pointing at me Really sorry about the anime sex thing I thought we would find it funny I don't know if it was the sex thing or the anime thing Or just a combination of Because they have an anime He's not an anime He's against anime Yeah, but anyway, I thought it was funny I prefer traditional Western cartoons Like a real New Jersey and does He loves the Iron Giant Yeah, absolutely Always Brad Brad Brad Except he couldn't go see Tomorrowland He just couldn't go that far Oh god, John Taffer Well, he's on the show next week Yeah, he is our secret guest for episode three I'm glad we could reveal that now It's gonna be great We do have one final question Before we close up the mail This is a final question And this is gonna be asked like four I know, I know, but this is gonna lead us into our final segment Or our penultimate segments Because we have a question here from The Littlest Hobo Nice, it's actual dog Oh, that's my roommate He's like in the room next to it Oh, really? He's the Littlest Hobo role player on the way He's a little bit of a role player on the way here Chris, you can just come ask us Yeah, Chris, are you out there?

Yeah Well, we'll read it off Yeah, here's your question Well, yes too, but I'm gonna go with one This is weird to talk about the other one off the earlier Where is he standing in the room? Yeah, we're gonna see his face If he likes our answer or not But the question is And this will lead us straight into the HF4 It's post of the week We read his post on the HF4 It's post of the week last week And his whole thing was that It's not the rebellion conspiracy Yeah, is that Jim Benning had signed speeds And said to these contracts For expansion draft based He could lose them in the expansion draft Which is, I mean, I don't Yeah, like The tour keeps us Goes into that logic Yeah, but maybe Yeah, I mean with all the moves Benning's been making Like maybe he's just I think he is Like because the number one thing that I took away from the post That you read last week was like Benning's a liar and he lies about everything And he's actually trying to get the team to tank And I hope that is correct Because if that's not what he's trying to do It is what he's doing So I would rather believe that he lies all the time Rather than that he's just an idiot Who's completely bungled everything he's done So that's the optimist in me, but Yes, who's going to say that Actually, Bowie Horbat is genius No, I think he is genius I mean, and that does Say as nicely into the HF4 Which is Bowie Horbat again? It's just Bowie Horbat, post of the week It's the HF4 May as well as this Post of the week This is unbelievable And I replied to an HF4 And they deleted my response Because I was basically like Okay, you cannot be a real person So someone said It doesn't sound like There's a lot of confidence In the current leadership group AKA the sedines If Benning needs to get a hazman Fourth liner in for leadership Bowie Horbat replied I'm sure he put a lot of thought into this reply The sedines have been here 15 years I'm just going to read it as it is There's no punctuation or anything The sedines have been here 15 years They've never molded young players They're the most overrated leaders That are PC culture possible It's like a Christopher Watkins I don't, I mean, it's just He's like a sub-aunt The sedines have been here for 15 years He's, I mean, I made the PFT Com and True comparison Last week And that's a PFT Com and True post The PC culture I want Bowie Horbat on the show Yeah I love him I'm in love with Bowie Horbat I don't know who he is If you're out there, if you're listening to this If you can operate your computer Steppins got to download the podcast Yeah, I, I, you're a wonderful human being And please never stop posting ever And if you have Twitter, like hit me up on Twitter for sure Um, you're wonderful Please don't stop posting Alright, we're coming up on the one hour mark here So let's wrap it up This is supposed to be a short mini bonus So anyways, and that of course means It's time to wrap up This cynical Sunday with a beautiful cherry on top The things that we like that Maybe from the world of sports Maybe from the world of culture Maybe anything at all It's one good thing, ladies and gentlemen Things that we actually do like After shouting about how we do not like sports For most of the last hour Uh, the first Uh, the minions movie is coming out on Friday And I don't know if you guys have seen Those little yellow guys run around But uh, they're absolutely adorable Uh, they're, I mean they're cute But they're like funny as well And like just all the damage Well they speak a mixture, I was reading up on this Because they speak a mixture of like Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Italian, French Exactly, yeah Um, as Perrento lives on Yeah, but they, you know, they run around Like the physical comedies grade And you see their butt in the new one? Yeah, they call that Yeah, I mean the minions maybe That's fantastic Please go for the coming out So like a marker I talked about it on the podcast Inside Out last week and I'm a cartoon fan So I'll definitely go see it Although I will see the one disappointing thing about the minions Like a stuffed animals Is that they all come with like Pardon me that plastic goggle That goes around their eye Like it's all hard plastic on the stuffed animals It's like really soft stuffed animal And then this hard plastic goggle eye I get that's why the minions are cute But also terrifying for a child It's a out of the circle Yeah, it should be a plush goggle Exactly Um, I won good thing This week I went with a movie last week This week I'll go with an album I don't know if it's my favorite album of the year But it's up there for sure Jamie XX in color I was never a huge fan of the XX But I really enjoyed the album It's great to just like Rollerblade too Definitely had it on It's been part of Rollerblade Definitely had it on in earphones Just a great album to have on in the background Or in your car A lot of good jams on it And yeah Probably definitely my top five albums of the year right now For sure And in heavy rotation So yeah check it out Jamie XX in color And my one good thing I was I had it all planned out when I was going to pick tonight I was going to come in here and say Trailer Park Boys Season 9 The new one that went up on Netflix About a month than a bit ago Without much fanfare I thought the first season that they did on Netflix Was amazing It had some of the all-time best episodes That they'd ever done Especially the one with the goldfish Particularly yeah Orangey Yeah orangey A great episode And I watched the first two episodes of the new season And I thought that it sucked And it's just kind of shuffling the board For the rest of the season Which turns out to be great So if you watch those first two episodes And you did not like them Stick with it There's some really really like all-time classics In the road ahead So if you like Trailer Park Boys That's a good one But I'm just going to mention that As an honorable mention I know That's my honorable mention One thing That's it That's what I plan to do I plan to mention that one But then when I was in the car driving over here I picked another thing No It's great I thought No This has been real good show No My one good thing this week I was driving over here And there was a crow Who was hopping across the street And I thought I was going to hit him with my car And I was like Come on buddy fly away Don't stop hopping Actually fly Like this is dangerous now And I was really nervous that I ran over him So I like looked in my mirror after I passed And I didn't hit him And in fact there was a car who passed At the same time Driving right alongside me And the crow Survived underneath the car The car drove right over the bird And the bird just kept dancing Right across the street And he survived And I think that's an inspirational message for us all That's my one good thing that This week Is a dancing bird who didn't get hit by cars That probably could have gone in our weekly crow report Which we forgot to do earlier Jim Crow report Um I think you should have stuck in the trailer park boys This has been No Alright that'll do it for this week's episode We will be back on July the 12th With a special guest We'll look forward to that Until then I have been Justin Morrisett Stefan Heck John Cullen And this Has been real good show