20. The People-Pleasing Trap: Stop Overextending & Burning Out Just to Be Liked—Start Prioritizing Yourself (with Bec Christianson)

"I had to get really good at the art of disappointing others and to be able to sit in the discomfort of knowing someone doesn’t like me." Bec ChristiansonPeople-pleasing or fawning is a learned survival response, often developed in childhood as a way to gain approval, avoid conflict, or feel safe in relationships. But over time, it can lead to burnout from overcommitting, self-doubt from seeking constant validation, and difficulty saying no, especially for high achievers who tie their worth to being ‘good’ and ‘capable’ in others' eyes.In this episode, executive coach and leadership facilitator Bec Christianson shares how a breast cancer diagnosis at 38 forced her to re-evaluate her patterns of overworking, seeking external validation, and prioritizing others over herself. As two reforming people-pleasers, we dive deeply into the psychology behind fawning (the lesser-known stress response), the hidden costs of saying yes too often, and how breaking free from these patterns unlocks greater confidence, energy, and success.If you’ve ever struggled with overcommitting, feeling guilty about setting boundaries, or constantly second-guessing yourself, this conversation is for you.Today on Limitless:- The Fawn Response and People-Pleasing: Why high achievers struggle with seeking approval, avoiding conflict, and over-adapting to others- Burnout and Energy Drain: How lack of boundaries, overworking, and hyper-vigilance leave people-pleasers exhausted- Self-Doubt and Confidence Struggles: Why people-pleasers question their own worth, even when they’re already highly skilled- The Price of Always Saying Yes: How people-pleasing can fast-track career growth but ultimately leads to resentment and disconnection from your authentic self- The Art of Disappointing Others: Learning to sit with discomfort and prioritize yourself without guilt- Breaking Free from Overcommitment: Small but powerful ways to set boundaries, self-soothe, and reclaim your time and energyIf you’re ready to stop overcommitting, let go of self-doubt, and create true success on your own terms, this episode will show you how.Connect with FionaPrivate Coaching: Work with meInstagram: @fionawalshcoachingLinkedIn: Fiona WalshEmail: [email protected] with BecLinkedIn: Bec ChristiansonWebsite: Thriving People Consulting📢 Calling Aussie Limitless Listeners – Join Bec’s Group Program!If you want to deeply understand the patterns in the way you relate to yourself and others, let go of your people-pleasing tendencies, shift unhelpful thinking patterns, and take radical responsibility for how you show up to be your authentic self and play big, then Bec’s Women Who Thrive group coaching program could be for you.Bec’s superpower is helping leaders see themselves clearly and arming them with evidence-based strategies to enact purposeful, positive change.Each cohort only has six women and is being delivered:​- In-person in Adelaide starting February 2025​- Virtually (Australia time zone) from early April 2025🔗 Learn more about the six areas the course covers: Women Who Thrive Coaching Program