20. When Leaving Isn’t a Choice: Chronic Illness, Motherhood, and Letting Go of a Museum Career

Leaving the museum field is often framed as a choice.Better pay. Better work-life balance. A new career path.But sometimes… it’s not a choice at all.In this episode, Elin Filbey and Alli Schell talk with Sam McLaren-Fahey about what it looks like to leave museum work because life requires it, not because you want to.Sam spent years working in museum education and nonprofit programming before transitioning into real estate. But her decision to leave the field wasn’t about career growth or dissatisfaction with the work.It was shaped by:chronic illnessphysical limitationsbecoming a parentand needing to build a life that was actually sustainableThis conversation gets into what that looked like in real time, including navigating years of undiagnosed illness, pushing through work while her health declined, and ultimately having to make a decision she didn’t feel ready for.They also talk about:the emotional impact of losing your professional identitywhat it means to grieve a career you lovedand how museum work can stay with you—even after you leaveSam shares what it was like to:move from a physically demanding museum role into more sustainable worknavigate job loss during maternity leaveand eventually build a new career in real estate—one that still reflects her values around education, empathy, and helping peopleThroughout the conversation, one thing becomes very clear:👉 Leaving doesn’t mean you stopped caring👉 And it doesn’t mean that part of you is goneIt just means something in your life needed to change.This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they were pushed out of a career they loved or had to make a decision they weren’t ready to make.⏱ Chapters00:00 When leaving isn’t a choice02:00 Sam’s background in museums and education05:00 Early health challenges and undiagnosed illness08:00 Working through severe physical decline12:00 Medical gaslighting and finally getting answers17:00 Adjusting roles and leaving museum work20:00 Losing professional identity25:00 Becoming a parent during a pandemic28:00 Forced career break and mental health challenges32:00 Finding real estate (and why it made sense)36:00 Building a new career from scratch41:00 Transferable museum skills in a new field46:00 Collaboration vs competition in different industries50:00 Money, value, and mindset shifts55:00 What Sam still misses about museum work58:00 Flexibility, health, and redefining success1:00:00 Advice for people navigating similar situations🔍 Keywordsmuseum careersleaving museumscareer transitionsmuseum professionalschronic illness and worknonprofit careerscareer identityworking with chronic illnessmuseum education careerscareer change stories