202: Why ADHD Kids Don't Listen: Executive Function Explained with Cindy Goldrich

Many children with ADHD know exactly what they're supposed to do but still struggle to do it. That frustrating gap between knowing and doing is one of the most misunderstood parts of ADHD, and it can leave parents feeling confused, exhausted, and questioning their child's behavior. In this episode, Dana Kay sits down with ADHD parenting expert and coach Cindy Goldrich to unpack what's really happening in the ADHD brain when children don't follow through on simple requests. Cindy explains why ADHD is not a problem of knowledge, but a challenge with executive function, and how factors like working memory, hyperfocus, processing speed, and transitions can all impact a child's ability to act. Throughout the conversation, Cindy shares practical strategies that help parents move away from constant reminders and power struggles and instead support their child's developing executive function skills. She encourages parents to shift from seeing behavior as defiance to recognizing the underlying skills that may still be developing. When parents understand the brain behind the behavior, it creates space for more patience, better communication, and stronger connection with their child. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW Free Gift: First Chapter + Parenting Resources- https://ptscoaching.com/soaring PTS Coaching Website - https://ptscoaching.com Cindy Goldrich Substack - https://adhdparentandteacherexpert.substack.com 📒 Show Notes and Resources 📒 📘 Connect with Cindy Goldrich Website - https://ptscoaching.com Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/PTScoaching Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/PTScoaching Substack - https://adhdparentandteacherexpert.substack.com Free Gift - https://ptscoaching.com/soaring KEY TAKEAWAYS [00:00] The everyday parenting scenario where a child agrees to do something but doesn't follow through. [03:56] Parents often feel confused when kids know what to do but still don't do it. [04:26] ADHD is explained as the gap between knowing and doing. [06:48] Hyperfocus can prevent kids from shifting attention to a new task. [08:41] Multiple brain-based factors can explain why kids don't follow through. [12:57] Processing speed challenges can make kids appear resistant. [16:20] Understanding executive function helps parents shift their expectations. [18:14] Misinterpreting behavior as defiance can damage connection. [22:55] Parenting mindset plays a major role in how kids respond. [26:28] Instead of labeling weaknesses, parents should look for ways to support skills. [30:18] Executive function development is similar to learning any other skill. [31:37] Kids improve with practice, structure, and guidance. MEMORABLE MOMENTS "You ask your kid to put their shoes on. They say okay… and then they don't." "What if the problem isn't defiance, but executive function?" "ADHD is not a problem of knowing what to do. It's a problem of doing what you know." "Maybe this kid is so hyper-focused on what he's doing that his mind is nowhere near what you're asking." "They're basically saying, slow down. I can't process this fast enough." "When we assume our kids are being difficult, we miss the opportunity to understand what their brain actually needs." "It's not about labeling the weakness. It's about asking, how are we going to support this?" "Why would this be any different than learning any other skill?" "These are skills that develop with support and practice." DANA KAY RESOURCES 🔗 WEBSITES: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/ https://dana-kay.com/ 👋 SOCIALS: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute 📕 INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING BOOK: Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/ 💻 FREE MASTERCLASS: Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://hubs.la/Q042HrjF0 ⭐ COURSES & PROGRAMS:  ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/