2023 If It Was Up To Me

Sometimes God’s blessings don’t exactly look or feel like blessings. Sometimes they feel like an inconvenience. Sometimes they look like an unwelcome change. Sometimes blessings come in the form of everything you think you want absolutely falling apart. Mary had her life planned out. This little small town girl was engaged to Joseph, they were going to get married within the next year, they would then have a house of their own and start their little family. She would grow her own little garden, make perfect loaves of sourdough bread, and sew matching clothes for her family. That was the plan. It was a good plan and it was all coming together. All her good plans were interrupted by a visit from the angel Gabriel. Out of nowhere, Gabriel delivers a message from God and basically says, “So, Mary – you are so favored by God that your plans are going to be wrecked. Before you get married, before you get your own little house and before you grow your garden, you’re going to be miraculously pregnant and have God’s son!” In a time when adultery was punishable by death, this did not feel like a blessing. This was a crisis. Joseph would know there was no way this baby could be his, so he would surely leave her, then everyone would assume Mary had been unfaithful. Judgement would come. Punishment. Shame. There was no possible scenario Mary could imagine in her head that would make this socially acceptable. Knowing how this looked and felt to Mary, here was her reply – Luke 1:38, Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” That would be easy to say if an angel has just told you you’re winning the lottery. Okay, LET IT BE! That would be easy to say if an angel had just told you the doors have been divinely opened to your dreams and it’s all going to happen for you. Yes, may it come true! But Mary has just been told her whole world is going to flip upside down. She will have a mysterious pregnancy no one will understand, which will likely mean she will lose her fiance, she will be shamed in public, and maybe even stoned to death. And to this Mary says, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” My friends, this is what really trusting God’s plan looks like. This is a picture of faith when it not only doesn’t make sense, but when it scares you to death. God, I trust you so much, I CHOOSE your way even when it’s the hard way. There’s a song by Ben Fuller and Carrie Underwood called “If It Was Up To Me”. It says: If it was up to me, there’d be no gravel roads No wounds, no blisters on my soul Pain might come, but it wouldn’t come for me If it was up to me, I’d take the easy ride But I’d miss the grace that changed my life Thank God, I’m not the one in charge of things I’d never know how good your plans could be If it was up to me You see, if it was up to me, I would have skipped every hard day I’ve ever had. But I would miss the extra sweetness of the good days. If it was up to me, I would have never gotten sick, I would have never lost a loved one, I would have never experienced pain in my most important relationships. But then these knees would have never hit the floor and I would have never known the power of my prayers. I would have forfeited my testimony, missed my calling, missed my purpose, and missed the lives I’m here to impact. I’m sure Mary wouldn’t have chosen a mysterious pregnancy that would potentially ruin her relationships and her reputation, but she accepted God’s plan with tremendous faith. God, if you’re saying it, then I trust it. God, if you’re telling me this is a blessing, even when it doesn’t look like it or feel like it, I will receive it as a blessing and walk in it with gratitude. God, I am your servant. May everything you have said about me come true. Whew – I’m not so sure I’m there yet on my faith journey, if I’m being honest. I still have my idea of what would be best. I still hold on to what a blessing looks like and when it doesn’t look or feel like a blessing, I tend to fight it. BUT I WANT TO GET THERE! I want to receive every inconvenience, every change of plan, every heartache and disappointment, every hardship and every delay, with grace and faith instead of doubt and complaining. I never want to whine again. I never want to be pitiful again. I sure want to be a whole lot more like Mary. I’m just not there yet. But do you know how we get better? We see examples of who we want to be and how we want to live. Mary is our example. It’s easy to read this story, knowing what we know now, and think Mary was lucky to be chosen. Oh, but first, Mary’s entire world was flipped upside down and every plan she had stood to be sacrificed – YET she said, “God, I am your servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” Aren’t we all on a journey to that level of trust and faith? God, whatever you have for me in this season of life, I want to honor it and bring you glory. If it was up to me, I would miss how good your plans can be. Thank God I’m not the one in charge of things! I’m assuming you’re a lot like me, in that you would prefer to just be perfect. Never fail, never mess up, never get it wrong. But then, you would never know God’s grace that accepts you anyway. Then you would be locked in a life of performance forever, believing every good thing in your life depends on you being perfect. You become a slave to performance. But thank God his plan allowed us to fail so we could taste the grace that meets us right where we are. Thank God we fell so we could meet the One who came and picked us up and taught us how to stand. I would prefer to have absolutely no weaknesses. But then there wouldn’t be space for God’s power to work best in my life. Thank God I’m not the one in charge of things, I would miss the power of God every single day. That song goes on to say: Your ways are higher Your ways are higher You know what you’re doing with me Your ways are higher Your ways are higher Put me where you want me to be God, I am your servant. May everything you have said about me come true. Put me where you want me to be. You know what you’re doing with me. God knew what he was doing with Mary. His ways were higher. She trusted him. God knows what he’s doing with you. His ways are higher. You can trust him. What Mary didn’t know at the time was God was speaking to her fiance Joseph as well. Matthew tells us what was going on behind the scenes to take care of every detail. Matthew 1: 19-21, “Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, and angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. ‘Joseph, son of David,’ the angel said, ‘do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.'” So Joseph stayed with Mary when he had every right to leave. She didn’t get stoned. She was loved and cared for. She was right to trust God completely, because indeed, this was a blessing. It was a blessing before it ever looked like a blessing. It was a blessing before it ever felt like a blessing. It was a blessing when it looked more like a problem and felt more like a crisis. The angel was right – Mary was favored! God’s ways were higher. He knew what he was doing! And God still knows what he is doing. He can still be trusted in our real lives today. Blessings still sometimes look like problems and feel like crisis. But can you, in faith, say, “God, I am your servant. May everything you have said about me come true. Your ways are higher. You know what you’re doing with me. Put me where you want me to be.” If it was up to me, I would miss this – thank God it’s not up to me! Follow Pamela on Instagram – https://instagram.com/headmamapamela Or Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pamela.crim Find out more about BIG Life – http://biglifehq.com