EPISODE · Jul 9, 2025 · 1H
2025-07-08 I Inquiry I Heartbreak I Flint Sparks
from Appamada · host Appamada
Heartbreak ~ written in the ER The dull sickening pressure Is what got my attention. A racing heart, Stumbling over itself Is a more familiar alert. But this blunt sensation Was something new, Relentless and swelling, Like water and dry earth Mingling and churning As in a flash flood Finding its way slowly, Inexorably, Blindly searching out the low places By feel. Nothing stopping it’s steady movement. And nothing did On that day. This intensity, not familiar pain, Invaded the muscles of my chest Stiffened with anticipation. Slipping silently between the ribs Of my caged heart and lungs. Pushing rudely up into my throat Without asking permission Flooding both jaws With a strong, strange sensation That signaled something wrong. The pushy entitlement of fear Taking over without concern Or consent. It was my heart that was Captured and confused By this wild rouge energy. Not by the eyes I couldn’t Turn away from in the beginning, And still can’t. Not the warm young body I sought and never left As both our bodies Transformed into something More settled and real. Not by the steadfast will And stubborn Insistence I encountered saying This was what mattered. No, I had been captured by That unexpected love Years before. Confused by its earthy and Ordinary magnificence. Irresistible and terrifying. And now it was breaking. Not the love. But my heart. A dull sickening pressure Pushing me To the edge of the bed, Over the precipice in the dark. Nothing cruel or personal, Just inevitable. This precious breaking The final vow The final bow To you.
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2025-07-08 I Inquiry I Heartbreak I Flint Sparks
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