2026-05-03 | Dharma Talk | FOMO and Encounter | Nate Smalley

The fear of missing out (FOMO) is the engine of missing out. The reaching is the leaving. Building on the intensive teachings of Peg, Joel, and Flint, Nate offers a dharma talk on encounter — what it is, why we keep missing it, and what the craving mind is actually building while it's busy looking elsewhere. There is a poem by Mary Oliver (below). There is a koan or two. There is a story about a youth soccer game that went poorly for a vocal subset of parents, the dharma teacher in attendance, and every available adult on the sideline— though notably not for the seven-year-olds. Except from Mary Oliver's poem, "At the River Clarion": 1. I don’t know who God is exactly. But I’ll tell you this. I was sitting in the river named Clarion, on a water splashed stone and all afternoon I listened to the voices of the river talking. Whenever the water struck a stone it had something to say, and the water itself, and even the mosses trailing under the water. And slowly, very slowly, it became clear to me what they were saying. Said the river I am part of holiness. And I too, said the stone. And I too, whispered the moss beneath the water. I’d been to the river before, a few times. Don’t blame the river that nothing happened quickly. You don’t hear such voices in an hour or a day. You don’t hear them at all if selfhood has stuffed your ears. And it’s difficult to hear anything anyway, through all the traffic, the ambition.