topical cream. Oh, I can bring you topical cream. I can get banana flavor topical cream. Your sock is just on the floor in front of me.
Oh my god, that horrible thing. It actually touched my cat AIDS foot. That's right because I have foot AIDS, Kathy. You've got all kinds of your gizzy...
I got foot AIDS parasite. Cat foot AIDS. Jizz sock. Jizz sock.
Not Jewish sock. Jizz sock. I don't know how many guys here used a sock to masturbate into at some point in their teenage years. I like how mute.
I use my stuffed animals to... Did you rub against your stuffies? Yeah, I did. Oh, they feel tingly!
Didn't know what you were doing. Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I wanted to do this again.
Yeah, because you were 35. Wow, you're mean today. 35 and rubbing up against stuffies. What's wrong with that?
That's what we do. Okay, how many women in the room have masturbated rubbing against stuffies? Yeah. One, two, three.
Okay. The women tend to be more honest, I'm seeing than the men. They're like, why? You're just on it.
You're just on it. You're just on it. Just so many easier ways to masturbate than to use a stuffie. You just rub against it.
You just get on, you go doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. You wipe out out music playing because I do, no. Like, there is a lady. Like, there is a lady.
My oldest daughter, when she found her clit, she was like pulling on it. She's like, what? Mom, I'm going to tail! In front.
Oh my God. This is freezing. She feel, if you were... ...new she knew you were telling it.
That's what I found out. I thought it was a naked bathtub. You're like, I found it. Here I go.
Yes, don't pull that in front of everyone. It's just be a little... Ahhh. Rob, Rob, Rob.
So we should start a show now. I think we started already. I think we did. Let's start a show!
Whoo! Show is for mature audiences only. Listen, your discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.
One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex like this white lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the kinky world of play.
Like... With a perverted podcast to show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle. Perversion. Recording live from the love...
I always feel like I'm about to say the love boat. From the love boat! Yeah. First off, a very good announcement.
Everyone has to talk quieter today. Cause Kathy's had a headache for like three weeks. I don't think the quietest of them make it go away. She's a good shot.
Don't tell them that. What? To be quiet. So we should have whispered.
You're trying to shame me into going to the doctors office. You want to get everybody's help to do it. That was my agenda, but it is now. You suck at it.
Kathy has had this weird headache for a few weeks now. Give you chills. Give you chills. Chills and stuff like that.
It's like a top of my hat. Head is just going to explode every time I cough. Yeah. And then you get chills.
And then I get massive chills and body. Maybe I have some weird little teeny infections. It's not a Puma. I didn't say it.
At all. I have a Maxasillin in my purse. We're not going to... Don't share meds.
Listen to me honey. I got it from Mexico. Oh, damn. That's what I was.
She could grow a calitorous tail right now. I don't want a tail Michelle. You could have a frontie. Keep your medicine in your back.
Don't give Kathy an amoxicillin frontie. No. I'll listen to you. Oh my god.
What do I do? Oh, I swear. Can I spin on it? Recording live from the Love Lab in Northern California.
In front of a pretty massive for us. I'm Kathy. I'm Michelle. I'm Kelpuggy.
Over there is. And thank you. Lord Lord Lord. And here we are.
Show two. Show two. Oh five. Kathy.
So much. Wait. Kathy is free but Dell is not. Are you buying Dell's ass?
Dell. Are you for sale now? No. I have a speak now.
I didn't even play. That's very descriptive. Yesterday was my last day as membership chair. I've been volunteering for a while.
I performed my last cast. Congratulations. And Dell might be taking over. My sucker.
Fucking sucker. The shackles will be around his ankle. Well you see switching. So you know he may be into that.
So I thought it was great Dell I think would be amazing. And if he actually ends up doing it. Great for us. Absolutely.
That's it. Oh, you had to make sure to write my shame. Okay. First off, big important news in the pokey world.
You remember I said how you is not inspired by me anymore because I stopped making music for a little while. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. And so yeah, that was last week.
And so I'm like, oh, I'm trying to get back in it. And I'm going to turn around with this idea. Because you know I like niche stuff. I like writing jingles for certain shows, certain styles and things.
You know, I did stuff from my space. I got a lot of popular doctorate mentorship. I have a whole history of like niche. Like I'll do an entire album project around something.
And it's a lot of fun. And then the people that are into that obviously. There's usually not music for those certain groups. You know, there's certain groups that don't have it.
So I'm like, I like Pokemon. Why don't I make a fucking pokey band. It's like all kind of fucked up songs about not the game necessarily, but like my fucked up next to the game and like all the shit you encounter or whatever. Basically your experience is playing.
Kind of trainers because they're called trainers. And so I said, dude, I'm going to make a trainer band. And so I know Al sings a little and plays some keyboard. And she was real into it.
And then you know, you can be cute. And she was actually laughing. She doesn't know. She doesn't want to play keyboards.
So you know, but she can definitely handle cuteness. And I put it out to like the groups and I'm all dude. I just want to start this band. And so I said, hey, I just want to call it like Pogo Sanity.
And you know, and they're like, because you know, obviously it helped me not kill myself going out for too much play. And so I'm like, okay, and everyone's like totally in with it. They've never heard a single song, whatever. So I just started writing Pokemon fucked up music about sketchy people peeing on sidewalks and stuff like that where you meet.
And the first song is called the manky. So if you don't know what a manky is, it's this little weird eight creature thing that does this weird dancing. So so I am writing music again. And that helps you love me when she's not burying me under the table because I got a paint a picture for you guys.
All right, I want you to picture some romance here. Okay, ready? Everyone just kind of get in that zone now. Just just take yourself, not with my face and put your own whatever face in, but there you and I are in bed.
All right, you know, not fucking or nothing. Just having that intimate time that that cuddler that lovers have, you know, four and a half years coming on five years of togetherness and and just that soft moment together, looking at each other, not too much, it's creepy, you know what I mean? But just, you know, looking around each other. And I go in and I give you what I think is the sweetest possible daddy kiss I could give her.
I just go in and I just give her that little kiss and I just press, you know, you know, you know, you just go that extra like few seconds that's soft and then you give that little release and she gets this blissy smile on her face and she says, hmm, ow is a good kisser. You really just laughing at us up over there. See how from the show, not me, that was the response after I threw my magic on her. And I just look at her and I'm like, what the fuck?
And she's like, no, no, no, I don't. Don't just don't don't even try. Just that moment that ship is gone. At least she's keeping it real.
Keeping it real. Keeping it real. Let me know where I said, yeah, that casey face. Us Greater Thunder.
Yes. What have you been doing? What have you been up to? What have you been up to?
You didn't show up last time. Oh, yes or no? Yes or no? Did you have an axe removed?
No, I did injure myself on Tuesday with an axe though. Last winter? Was it a splinter? No, I actually sliced my finger open.
Darker. But that wasn't the most thrilling part of my week. I've had quite a weekend. What was the most thrilling part of your weekend, under?
What's the other one? Was it being asked if we were role-playing in the lobby of the hotel? Okay. of the night before before swimming when while doing a quick five minute scene I accidentally cut myself while doing a knife place scene so added blood accidentally to a knife place scene.
Oh, so sexy. Just more. Or was it the it was a big old mess or was it the sudden waterboarding which just happened to the water because someone didn't want to drink water after having some alcohol. You forced someone to drink water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to do that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I was holding her back so she was off balance too which just made it even more discus-starting for her. You know, spread a washcloth over her face and poured water over it.
Is it happy to do this to have you? That's wonderful. So I'm on waterboarding. That was sexy.
But when she went swimming I went and grabbed a straight razor out of my bag and when I did that I have additional straight razor I have shaved that's which is like a straight razor but exchangeable blades and uses the half razor blades and I had a bunch of those blades sitting around and I kind of like went up and wrapped it. I pushed down so hard that I pushed it through the black paper that covers it and slides and I was like, yeah, yeah. And as I do the play play on her I'm bleeding all over her. Oh, you're blocked.
Oh, you're blocked. Michelle's getting off over here. It's literally. And then the next one she looks like a creepy guy at the park with the hands in the pockets.
You have your hands in front of your pocket. It's a hands are like literally there going, eh. And then the next morning we went down to grab some coffee and we were still wearing our kiguroomis from sleeping and we're wandering around a hotel with a total and toothless. Nice.
I'm getting coffee. Although the kid in the elevator thought I was the Easter Bunny and loved it. Like a little kid. It's like, here are the Easter Bunny.
I am giant Easter Bunny kid. Well, that's what the Easter Bunny does after Easter. Goes to Vegas. It's drunk in guys.
It makes sense. I know what to say. That's just alarming. That was a 36 hour trip to Vegas.
It sounds like an eventful trip. It sounds like an under trip. It sounds like an ungertrip. It was pretty ungertrip.
It was pretty ungertrip. It was pretty randomly ending up at a 36 floor. No, 63rd floor club that they invited us to go up to. In your costume.
It was the night before. That was cool. That was cool. I wish.
Normal. Well, Mike does his wet. Would you wear a shirt? Michelle.
That was pretty crazy. This was after Star Wars night. Oh, did you do that? I made a horse celebration.
Hey, man. Did he just say that with disdain? Is there a Sith holiday? Yeah.
Yeah. Revenge of the Fit. Oh, my God. That's it.
I'm done. I didn't know you were even Star Wars. Well, I was, Craver Explorer told me somebody he saw in a, or something about a, a Rebel or, oh, a Jedi outfit. And I said, was it a black one or the brown one?
He goes to the brown one. That's a new shit. The black one is the black one. Yes.
Yes. Yeah. There's, like, there's a level of nerd that is like less nerd. Yes, there is.
Yeah. And you don't know that is very telling bookies. That's sad. Yeah.
Nerds that are not. Even I know that. That's like the people in Pokemon Go that complain about other people. Like, oh, there's, I'm all dude.
We're a bunch of fucking idiots driving our cars around catching imaginary fucking creatures. Nobody gets to be proud. Nobody gets to be a snob. We're all fucking lame.
All of us. All Star Trek, Star Wars, doesn't mad fucking nerds. Star Wars better than Pokemon. Oh, maybe, maybe it is.
And Chewbacca died. Oh, you're having a go there. Oh, yeah, because he's bogey. And you're in a way.
Yeah, the walking carpet is now in a plush coffin. What? What? What did I say?
What? You couldn't wait a couple more days to actually die on Star Wars day. How rude. It is pretty taggy.
It is. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Yeah.
I don't know. We're gonna get shot for sure. Yeah, we are. Well, that's it.
That's our potato mate. Wait, what's the matter? We're supposed to fly. But yeah.
That's it. Wow. Okay. Back to my heavy metal date.
Boy, you're a piece of mine. Please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted a submission to do so, which is also true of Smechely, our author of the day who wrote something called I Don't Want to Talk About My Feelings, Emotional Transparency and the S. It's gonna be good, but I like the show. She says, Growing Up Talking About How I Felt Wasn't Safe, Crying Was Especially Frowned Upon.
It was easier just to keep everything inside until it spilled out into poetry, artwork, and pretty much anything else I could escape to in order to avoid self-confrontation. My feelings don't matter, you see. Not to me. They're stupid, ridiculous, without merit, meaningless.
But in any DS relationship, emotional transparency is paramount. How are you feeling? He'll ask. Fine, I reply.
Always. And I get, quote unquote, the look. And in just a split second, I realize I've taken away his authority over me. In the middle of a scene, I'm fine, is not an acceptable answer.
In reality, I just want to be loved and to love others with my whole heart, but there's a part of me which remains on guard at all times. I hate talking about my feelings, but I'm learning to do it anyway. I owe it to my partners. I owe it to myself.
Oh, that's nice. Full clap. There was a little bit more to the post, obviously, that we didn't read. And this is exciting because she also talked about, I don't know, I think it was a she.
Yes, I thought. Whatever. Here, I'm starting to see little cracks of light through the wall and stuff like that. And that stuff gets me so excited because I've seen so many situations where people who have been programmed to not be able to share their feelings, that your feelings aren't valid, they don't matter, that it's bad to share your feelings, it's weak.
I mean, the thousands of fucking head trips that either parents and families put on kids, all the shit bad relationships put on people, it's just an awful level of programming. And when someone's courageous enough to be in an environment where they have somebody that's supportive and willing to work with them a little bit, when you get to see those cracks start forming and they start seeing that evidence that there's another way to look at their reality and that comes with honesty and transparency and all of the scary vulnerability, that stuff's really exciting because I've seen it so many times, especially since being a little bit more honest. There's not a lot of places to hide in the community. If you have coping mechanisms that you've created, which we all do and it worked for you out in your normal everyday life, they aren't going to last long in DS and kink and play scenes, one way or another, those things get confronted or you start to lose play partners and it always has amazed me how pretty consistent that is.
You're always reading, it seems, about someone who's had to face something they don't want to face because if they didn't they would not have a strong relationship, they would not have good play partners and they would not be advancing in the scene at all. Sometimes when we've had questions from people who write and say what is it about DS that makes you a better person or why do you consider this a positive and constructive path to take? My answer is always the same, you don't have a lot of places to hide in DS or in kink because those coping mechanisms will out one way or another. I have to agree because if you can't be totally open and honest then you're not going to go anywhere, you're not going to get very far with many people, like me and Poppy Ramone.
It's kind of sex because I have these feelings of like, oh, I'm not worthy of being able to tell him what I'm feeling but when I finally do it usually ends up pretty good for the most part. I love it. That's always a fucking work in the park. Sometimes vulnerability sucks balls.
But it's for the greater good. I think ping ponging off what you said, you talked about the evidence because that's where I have found the greatest amount of growth in somebody that's very shut down with their communication is presenting to them and celebrating that evidence. Every time I have been with somebody that has some communication issues or whatever, every time that I try to create an environment that every little conversation that we have that I know is a little bit vulnerable for them to kind of show that conversation was okay. We can put that in the oven with money.
We did a lot of that. We can now put this conversation that you didn't want to have that you had some fears and concerns about. Now that it's been successful and it's actually been a benefit and we've actually gotten stronger and whatever, let's take this conversation and celebrate it and put it into the evidence back. That way you can never again say as an absolute that this conversation is going to go bad.
So every time you have another one of those, you start looking at the individual conversations as little kind of gold nuggets that you put in this bag and then it takes away your brain's ability to absolute, which is that's what we do. I'm always bad. I'm always wrong. You have these absolute phrases.
And when you have that bag of evidence over time that you celebrate each of those little communication wins, it's impossible to go back to that absolute thinking that you can't communicate. Because you're like, what are you talking about? We have 20 different conversations that have all worked out well. So maybe it's okay if you rethink how you allow that programming to affect you.
And it's been amazing to see that. And I also wanted to point out from what Kathy said and what you said and what we say about the lifestyle, there's a lot of shitty relationships in the lifestyle where one or more of the partners together don't want to grow and they don't want to communicate and they lay out some bullshit and you try to follow that bullshit because you think that's the way it's supposed to be and there is no communication. It's like a my way or the highway kind of thing. But in general, I agree with Kathy that at least in the whatever philosophical whatever we live in, the community that we want to live in, that communication and celebrating that communication is something that we all strive for.
Very true. Any audience have anything to say? Here comes Eddie. Eddie's coming.
Here you come. There's a Poppy Roman walking down the street. It just leaned over. Why do you have that mic all the way down?
Because there's people sitting. It was at the sitting level and now standing people were there. The last time I've been door left is going to the bottom of my butt. Oh!
Wow! Stop looking at me. Tell us about that. You liked it.
So I grew up in a Hispanic household where you're all tough and macho and whatnot. You don't really talk about shit. So that led to a lot of fights. A lot of problems because things which is bubble up.
Because nobody talked about it and then it lead to a big fight blowout. It says shit you didn't mean. Everyone stormed off. The next day I'm sorry I love you hugs kisses but the issue was never resolved.
So after a few weeks things will bubble again and the cycle repeated just over and over and over. So one of the things when I got into the community and the lifestyle was the openness of communication. Of talking things like wait why people actually do this? It's not just the theory.
It's just the ratchet. And the bottle of my bed. And the ball. So it's great to be in a community in a lifestyle where it's encouraged to discuss things.
To talk it out before it leads to a problem or if it becomes a problem work it out. What can we do to resolve it? And if you know you're one of those it doesn't I highly suggest you open up a little bit and crack the door in. You'd be surprised how relieving it actually is to put your feelings out there and your thoughts and what's bothering you.
And when it's resolved you're like oh that wasn't so hard. It really did be simple compared to what I thought it would be. The years you've spent catastrophizing it. I mean you know it was very interesting what you said but it was so hard to take you seriously.
You're bent over double talking to the floor basically. I was kidding. He was like yeah I'm just gonna run over here. You care if I push this up.
No he can straighten it because then now the people that are sitting down are gonna want to talk into it and they're gonna be leaning up. They're not gonna pull their seats up to it. Everyone's gonna stay there. Whatever then they'll stand sit it up.
Just yeah get that. I think the butt sounded like a little bit. Pretty close. I still don't know.
I still don't know. We are so. Yeah we are so. I did want to add one thing onto the communication thing and that is when one of the partners and everyone has to be at their own level.
You know you can only do what you can do and be who you are and not everybody inspires that vulnerability out of somebody and not everybody is ready to handle that level of vulnerability. And it is okay to set that limit for yourself. We have a number of people over the years that we played with that were like showed all this great potential for a good communicator and whatever and they were just not willing to start it. And it had to be one of those things where we weren't gonna go forward because there was nowhere to go at that.
So it's like okay well we can play but you're not gonna get that communication and on the other end of that people are like oh they just weren't ready. The other end of that is maybe I wasn't the one to inspire that. You know take my ego out of that. Maybe they weren't ready to be vulnerable with me and that's okay too.
Maybe there's somebody else because you know the poly thing or whatever they wanted something more focused. So it's okay to also say this isn't gonna work if that communication you know if some of both parties aren't willing at least that's with me. I feel like sometimes I have some semisives or they want like more out of me than what I'm willing to give. As far as like oh well you know I can listen to all of your problems.
I'm like oh dude no. That will make you the problem. Yeah no we're not gonna do that. I don't need an emotional tampon.
Thank you. Thank you very very much. I need service. That's awesome.
That is quite an image I am now never gonna get rid of it. Emotional tampon. That's all you know. Now you have to write that fucking joke.
You'll never sleep with me. But I can help you move. It's actually I have the son half done. You.
Cause it's true. I was an emotional tampon and it's like they're like oh yeah I love you like a brother. Can you help me move? I won't fuck you but I'll tell you all my stuff.
Emotional tampon and no I get to be your emotional tampon and then you're gonna go fuck some asshole on the hood of your car and then I'm like well I would bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. And oh he's such a dick and then she goes on to the next guy and the next guy but I get to be there. You know I can just rely on you. I like a brother to me.
I did that shit up until about 23 and then it's like oh no no no. I've had chicks do that to me too. I bitch I wanna fuck you. Yes look at that now.
You're all that's cool but no. Emotional tampon. I am here for you. Anything special.
I never finished that song. I need another band. Hunger's anything going on in the chat room that's worth talking about? No.
Alright there's an answer. No. Thank you Captain Articulate. You're gonna reel.
You're gonna reel. What is this emotional transparency and oh oh this was all part of the same thing. I thought you had two topics. That you snuck in.
No it's long. It went down to the second line. There's two lines. It's that long.
And it doesn't look like two topics. I'm like oh this is like only old days. Do you see the name call? Do you see the name call?
Period. At the end of the first line. That's a semicolon I think. I don't know.
It's right under Mew writing Al is a good kisser. In Sharpie to remind me of my shame. That's basically what she's here for. Emotional tampon.
You are not Mew's emotional tampon. Sometimes it feels like that. We got some mail. And we're gonna read it for the third and mail box because you need sense.
Yeah. J.J. was gagging behind me when you were talking about being an emotional. Because we all know.
We all know. We're all like yeah I was like well you know I would never do that to you. I would always be there for you. I know you're so sweet I can never fuck you and lose you to friends.
By the way I gotta go out of town. Can you watch Mr. Mittens all weekend? I guess so.
I'm gonna be fucking three guys I don't you. You used to be so pathetic. I was. I was.
I was doing horrible. I'm an asshole now. It's because I learned things. I was at your journey.
That was part of my journey. Okay. I was going from giant wafting pussy douche to giant wafting pussy. Hey.
We love you. Mm hmm. Mew to the rest of you. We got some mail.
And we're gonna read it for the third podcast because you need to. Yeah. I love it. You should sing the jimmees for now.
I have to you today. The first one is from jaybird54 who wrote I just started listening to the show. I listen while I'm at work and you guys make my work day fly by especially Kathy who is just all kinds of awesome. Well yeah.
I'll know that. I'll get into your tail. You're a little front tail. I'm all kinds of awesome.
You are all kinds of awesome. All kinds. I tried to tell you. All kinds.
The show is super funny but also super educational so I just love it. I wanted to thank you for making such an amazing podcast and say that I can't wait to catch up. Also my favorite part of the show is the song at the end. You all sound fantastic singing together.
Oh man. That was fun. That's when everybody just started listening. And here it comes.
Buckle in. Show 17. What happened to me? Everybody said show 101 a bit squint now.
She's not probably going to hear this until much later on after we ruined her. Yeah. She's going to be like wait a minute. That was me.
Me. Me. That's so horrible. The second one is better actually.
Someone who wishes to remain anonymous and says I discovered I am officially AP zombie. Yay. Pee-Pee-Pee-Zam. We had a jingle for Pee-Pee.
We did. I didn't load it in this. Oh. What?
What? What? I'm fucking jeez. Play alligator balls.
I don't have alligator balls. You don't have alligator balls. You don't have alligator balls. You don't have alligator balls.
I got Kiltow here. I got Kiltow here. I got Kiltow here. I got Kiltow here.
I got everyone get down. She's showing the toe. Kiltow. I love that so much.
Why? Because you look at Little Mew and you don't think their thumbnails are, you know, we can happen. How long are those? Those are challenge.
She's not the bird of prey but a Mew. A Mew of prey. A Mew of prey. She says I'm super excited and I hope to be a Patreon supporter soon.
Don't rush it honey. Just take it easy. I was listening to episode 5 today and you guys mentioned Orchid and Serpent. It reminded me of when I met them at a convention here in Washington and I let her hit my breast with her fairy wand which is amazingly cute and fun and it left a beautiful star shaped welt.
Remembering it made me smile again and I wanted to share the memory with you guys. Thanks for being the highlight of my morning's Love You Guys. Now she sent us a picture of it which I uploaded to. It was just a little welt on her booty.
Oh my god. It was gorgeous. Too very lovely. Too very lovely.
Lovely, lovely letters. That's wonderful. That is. That is.
That is so beautiful. That is great. But there's worse, Kathy. If you want to believe.
Well, you should put them up. There's a lot of people to say. I mean, you know, Chicken Fucker, you know, some of the classics, you know, Bloody Chicken Head. That's what it was.
So yeah, Bloody Chicken Head. You know, there's just some that I'm like, yeah. No. So I mean, I guess technically after two years of putting up a new song every week, you know, I probably could start recycling and run through the list again.
You know, radio stations play the song every fucking 15 minutes. They can do it once every two years I could. And I don't think I'm going to be putting up the Pokemon Go song. Why not?
Why not? You played Zua songs? Yeah, but those were the other two sides. Maybe I would.
But people enjoy them. Oh, and then somebody actually listened to what we said and planted the PP flag at the beach. Look at that. Look at that.
Sara wrote to us with a picture of in the sand. Oh, she's right in the sand. She said my bestie and I went to the beach today in southwest Washington. She decided we needed to make some titties.
They were very nice titties. They were well sculptured titties. Well, I did appreciate that. It's up on our very hot paper file.
It is. Oh, then there's you over to you, Boogie. Over to me. Thanks, Kathy.
You're about it. You're coming in and then you've got to stare because you know, the time delay takes the time delay takes like three seconds. You ever watch that? You ever know that?
And they're like, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, and from Tel Aviv, even from fucking Los Angeles to Tel Aviv, there might be some bing bonging of satellites. So no, I just wanted to say, fuck it, you know, I tried. And, you know, because I started with, you know, saying, doing the show has to be enough for me and, you know, jump in through all the hoops with Patreon and doing all the little things and trying tears and stuff like that. When everything went crazy here and I started losing jobs, I got, you know, obviously scared.
And, and then I'm like, okay, well, maybe I can start trying to make the podcast make money. And, and so I got kind of into it and like, I'm going to try this, but I had to realize that it's just, I suck at it. I really fucking suck at it. And then it becomes stress.
And then I don't make the commitments that I said I was going to make. And then I feel obligated. And then it becomes not fun. And it becomes like a job that I don't like.
So I don't, I don't want to do it. You know, it just makes me feel disingenuous. And it makes me feel a lot of pressure. I love doing the show.
I love making jingles. I love, I now love half a peepee. And so some of the stuff that we do, like the early access for our patron subscribers and half a peepee, which only our patron subscribers can do. At this point, that's about the limit of what I can do.
So I ended like the $10 tier. And I put out a letter today and I kind of explained myself to our patrons who have been amazing and the people that are able to donate some. And I said, I'm sorry, this is, this is where it's at. And you guys can go ahead and downgrade, you know, whatever adjust your, adjust your whatever donations because I'm not going to be giving, you know, or trying to give these rewards.
And it was just overwhelmingly positive. I got so many emails from people just being like, look, we love the show. We support because of the show, not because of the perks, the perks are fun and whatever, but it really is about you guys all getting together and doing the show. So I really appreciate that.
And I did try, but you know, but yeah, I just suck at it. And if I was good at this kind of stuff and ambition and whatever, I wouldn't be a fucking unemployed janitor at 50, you know, I would have had ambition and I would have achieved greater things in my life. But there's a part of my brain that just, I have a lot of great ideas and I have really shitty followers. So the fact that I have been doing a show for four years every week without missing is really a big deal for me.
That's the biggest commitment, you know, next to next to you, the biggest commitment I've ever followed through in my life. So I just have to instead of beating myself up, I just have to celebrate the things that I can do. And you know, I think that that says a lot about you and that you're able to like acknowledge that and go, no, I need to take care of myself and step back and do what makes you happy because that's what's important and that's a portable. Yeah, it's just gonna affect the show.
If I don't because I'm just gonna be like, I can't do any of this. I can catastrophize and run away. And so we don't want that. Yeah, so we're just gonna hang in.
And so there's my major announcement. Was there anything else that we were supposed to do? No, that was it then. We're not precise.
We don't have license. We are not always nice. We're here. If you need some fucking advice.
We aren't always nice. No, no, and we don't have lice. That's very true. You know why?
Because we groom. Because I'm bald. Yes. Thank you.
You know, thanks, you know, fucking Kiltow. Why don't you just hang out with Panda who takes her own life at risk every time she couples with you. Don't get too close to her Panda because at any moment, Kiltow could fucking, you're just gonna hear that little switch though, blade and it's gonna go, next thing you know, slice your hamstrings. That's it.
Slice your hamstring. You can't walk. Should just. And then there will be blood.
Yeah. Michelle will get wet. Oh, yeah. Michelle be like, like a bird doing a bird bath.
I just follow the carnage of Kiltow. And I bathe in the blood. Another image I'm never gonna move. Sorry for all the listeners that they couldn't see that.
That was magical. It was I just put you like a bird. That's a bird. A bird.
Well, that's what Minky does. It's a bird bath of blood. Just after the wings flapping, you remember like wood stock? Now I have the image of wood stock baiting in blood.
Thank you. That would be amazing. Rode peanuts for me. And then snoop becomes and grabs it and starts jacking off with fucking wood stock.
Oh, fuck. Yeah. Dick pushing out of fucking wood stock. And then after he nuts, he just fucking discards wood stocks dead body into the body.
And then he likes to draw as a pentagram in the ground with the bloody body and then like fart sonnet and fizzles and wood stock comes back to life like a Phoenix and then comes back to life and then everything's better and they have Easter marshmallows. I want no part of this. Just gone beyond this is called acting out by the way. I like it.