#21 - From Years of Masking Confidence As a Gay Woman to No Longer Abandoning Herself - Sally's Journey

www.braverwomen.comIn this episode, you’ll hear a real Braver Women transformation story.You're going to listen to Sally, 64, a retired teacher who for most of her life on the the outside she appeared as steady, capable and confident. For decades she managed her life well enough that no one would have questioned her resilience. She grew up in a home shaped by strong religious beliefs and high expectations, where she learned early that love and approval had to be earned. Emotional regulation was never modelled, so uncomfortable feelings became something to avoid rather than move through - all the way through her adult life. As a young adult, Sally left the UK and moved to Berlin. There she discovered the gay scene and experienced, for the first time, a sense of belonging that had been missing growing up. Alongside that freedom came escapism - alcohol, drugs and intensity became ways of managing emotions she didn’t yet know how to tolerate. Over the five decades that followed, she continued to function well. She built a life and like so many women in the lesbian and queer community, she coped - in her head. But in her body the relationship she had with her nervous system's ability to experience uncomfortable emotions made her spiral and collapse internally, when they became too much to handle. The avoidance coping strategies that had once helped her survive were the very thing maintaining anxiety, emotional reactivity and a deep fear of inadequacy - for years.After a personal crisis at 64, she realised those strategies were no longer working and she needed help to change these.In this conversation, you’ll hear:• What masking confidence looked like in real terms for Sally• How avoidance and escapism were linked to shame and emotional avoidance• Why belonging externally didn’t resolve her internal insecurity• What changed when she stopped abandoning herself• How structured, daily therapeutic work created emotional stability in her body that she could actually feel• What life feels like now compared to beforeThis episode explores identity, shame, distress intolerance and the long-term impact of conditional approval.If you recognise yourself in the experience of appearing strong while struggling internally, this conversation will resonate.Bravery isn’t a heroic performance. It’s the decision to stay with yourself even when it’s uncomfortable.Sally’s story shows what becomes possible when that work is done consistently and properly.You can reach Leanne at www.braverwomen.com or by email at: [email protected]