Alright, the recording is happening. Good, keep me updated. Hopefully it works. And we gotta try to keep this easy to edit.
Understood. So, I've got some bad news and some good news. Are you gonna say hello to me or no? Oh, hi Amanda.
Hi Abigail. This is the Two Girls Talking Podcast. It is actually. No laughter for you.
No, not today. That's because we're about to do some bad news. Uh-oh, what's the bad news? Also, it's a little bit of a joke life moment, mostly because my life is just a series of them.
So, as you might recall, I broke my computer. Oh, no. I have a bad feeling about what this story is. And, um, the joke part of it is, like, I am really bad at spilling.
I spill all the time. Uh, and have tried to orchestrate my life around spilling. Like, I can't stop spilling, so I try to, you know, make sure nothing gets destroyed in the process. Sure, I can't have nice things, etc.
I've been in your trailer. Every single thing is covered in plastic, like some sort of crime murder painting scene. Sure. Yeah, and also the, um, the trailer makes it even easier to spill because, like...
It's wobbly, I get it, yeah? Everything's small. Everything's small. So, like, I mean, my, like, if I stick my arm out, I'm like halfway across the trailer.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, when I was home, I kept moving, my parents had, like, a couch, and there's space between the couch, the table's really small, and I kept getting up to move to the bathroom every time I did. My butt would knock over something that was on the table, and my sister would look at me with hatred, and I would be like, I'm not trying to do it. She's like, but you're also not trying to do it.
So, yeah, that would happen in my trailer. Yep. So, in all the times I've spilled things, I've never gotten it on my computer. But the other day, the other day, in some sort of...
catastrophe mouse trap board game situation, I opened a cupboard, and out fell a little spice container of garlic powder. Mm-hmm. All I did was open the cupboard, and out came the garlic powder. It came tumbling out, and knocked over the thing of honey that was sitting on the counter.
So, garlic, honey, and then the honey hit my little tiny juice cup of wine. Mm-hmm. Well, how many juice cups of wine did you have at that point? Yeah, not that many.
Probably like... I probably had three regular glasses of wine. Okay. It was Christmas Eve.
Fish. Ah, Christmas miracle. Yeah. And the glass of wine, because of the way it was hit, completely turned like a dunk tank, 180 degrees, and poured, even though it was only like two ounces of wine, poured it onto my computer, which was open and playing a video, and it just like, you could just see like a whole keyboard covered in wine.
Oh. Um, so anyway, I had to drive several hours to an Apple store, and like, right, it was like, I was like, I need a Christmas miracle. I have to get an Apple store before it closes for a few days, because if I don't have a computer, I'll die. Mm-hmm.
And they assessed that there was a significant amount of damage to the logic board. To which you replied, yeah, no shit, Sherlock. When I walked in, I said I broke my computer, please help me. Like, there was no point in trying to be like, I don't know why my computer isn't working, because I knew the second they opened it up, it'd be like a glowing cabernet of obviously what happened.
Like, when I dropped my cell phone in the lake, the one time I was invited to the camps, fancy, get away, 30th birthday thing, and I said, oh no. And I just stared at it and Tyler was like, are you going to get that? Nope. Okay.
And then he jumped in the lake to save my phone, gave it to me, and I was like, oh, yeah. And then I took it to the store, and they were like, has this, has this been in the water? And I was like, I don't think so. And they were like, it has though.
This is your opportunity to tell me why it's been in the water. And I was like, nope, no water damage. Yeah, no, they can definitely tell. Oh, yeah, they know.
I actually water damaged an iPhone with sweat, because I was wearing it. Yeah, I was wearing it inside my bra when I went hiking. And apparently I sweat so much that it did water damage. And even like, it's this thing on the inside, there's three different places on the inside of the iPhone that show where that has damage.
They basically like turn blue. They go from like white to blue if water is touched them. And I sweat so much. It did that.
Gross. Tell me gross stories. Anyway, Dominic was like, Dominic was like, well, I hope it was at least nice wine. And I lied and said, well, it was eight dollar wine, which isn't true.
It was definitely four dollar wine. Dominic doesn't need to know. You keep your nose out of the Dominic. Anyway, Dominic took my computer away to ship it off to Apple to get repaired.
And he said, is everything backed up? And I said, yes, of course it's backed up on iCloud. Except for massive, huge dot band files. Right.
And then like, I'm familiar with the problem of storing gigabyte by gigabyte band files. Yeah, so that I did it or I realized. Now, there's a possib- so if we lose those fires. I don't want to hear your lies.
If we lose those files, there are two episodes that I was in the process of editing that we would lose. Well, now it's gone. It doesn't matter anyway. So we'll see.
So now we've lost three episodes of this podcast. We're about to hit as many lost episodes. We have actual episodes. Let's make an episode right now.
Oh, so that was the bad news. Would you like some good news? Sure. I got you a present.
What is it? I'm going to show you. This is why I'm glad the video worked out because it is a visual gift. Well, we do have a blog instead of a podcast.
No, I don't have a list. No, no. We could be YouTube star. Oh, reader.
I'm looking at a very shiny, sparkly notebook book that has glitter, gold glitter all over the cover. I wrote a viral bound. It has some college ruled lined paper. I'm excited to use it for something.
What's it for? It was my burn book. Yeah, it's your burn book. Just write your name in the front 16 pages and then I'll try to fit some other people in after that.
Ha ha ha. Wait, read the back. Can you read that? It says babies first notebook.
Actually, it says U-style collections bedazzled. Yeah, it is. It says U-style because it's my style. Well, I really wanted to buy you a lot of the trash that I found in the clearance aisle at New Mexico Walmart.
I was at a couple of days ago. I had to throw away my trash shoes, which is the last thing you purchased for me from the Walmart. So I maybe don't deserve any Walmart treats. Why do you have to throw them away?
They were really gross and I stored them under my, maybe this could be my joke life moment. We were moving around our office a little bit to make room for some new employees and I had my trash shoes underneath my desk and one of our engineers was like, whoa, what are these? And like, he's totally freaked out. Like, he actually, like, maybe he saw a snake and he was like, whoa, what are these?
And I was like, oh. I muttered, those are my trash shoes. No one heard me, thankfully. And then he said, what?
And I said, I don't know. I'll throw those away. And so he like watched me to make sure I did it and I like picked them up, walked over to the tiny trash can, threw them in the tiny waste basket and was like, weird. I went back.
Okay. Well, a story about my trash shoes is that my little niece Ellie, who's like five and a half years old going on 35. Right. Had inquired about my trash shoes the first time she saw them and she was like, what are those?
An air of suspicion and concern as one should have. And I said, well, I, my, my trailers parked in this dirt field where there's a lot of you grow up, you lose the ability to do anything except shove your oversized feet into just kind of whatever's lying around. And it's better if those shoes have no value in our kind of just pieces of cloth roughly sewn together with burlap on the inside of your little footsy just goes right in. And then it's like you're a trash person wearing your trash shoes.
So I told her that I couldn't wear my regular shoes. Because I don't deserve it because I'm not a real human because I'm a trash person who destroys everything as evidenced by everything. I said, there's all these, there's all these like burrs and dirt and stuff where my trailers park. So I have these shoes so that these shoes can get destroyed by all that stuff and my other shoes don't.
So she accepted that answer and filed it away in her steel trap memory. And then five and a half. You don't have a lot to remember. I will say dude she blows my mind.
She got, she saw one of my mugs that I had painted and got really quiet while she was looking at it and I said, what are you doing? And she said, I was just remembering that you painted a picture like this. What? And I was like, which I did.
Like I painted them up. I was like, the only thing you can paint. Right. I had figured out one thing to paint and I was like, I'll paint this a bunch.
Oh, no, I did the exact same thing. I'm like, I could paint a horse here's two ears at a face and there you have a horse. As does she. And a wild sight painted.
As does she. She really does a lot of rainbows and a lot of fruit trees. Sure. Yeah.
You know, once you find something you're good at, you just need to stick with it and just keep keep going with it. I get it. So she. Files away the information about the trash shoes and then about three months later.
She asks me, like, I've moved, right? So I've been staying at our friend, Christy's house and now I was on the road and she had a lot of questions about that. And she said, wait, so you aren't where the dirt is anymore? And yet the trash shoes remain.
And I said, well, the dirt has gone away. I am also still here. And I said, no. And she said, oh, so you don't have to wear those special shoes anymore, right?
And I was like, why is that you don't judging me for my shoes? Listen, people have two reactions we've learned. Fear and suspicion upon seeing the trash shoes. By the way, I feel like we should explain what trash shoes are 20 minutes into this segment.
Basically they're like burlap shoes that are easy to put on your feet. You just slide your foot in there like slip on loafers. Yeah, that's a good description. Made out of canvas burlap.
They look like punishment shoes that like a slave might wear in the Roman century times or like like a pioneer would wear them inside of their little hut made into the hillside. Yes, ma would wear them all doing chores in Little House on the Prairie for sure. Yeah, actually, ma would probably be too good for them to be honest. Ma would be like, Laura, you're not allowed to wear those.
And then Mary would be like, ma, I never would wear those ever. Anyway, I'm going to stop with my trash shoes slash Vic with Little House on the Prairie. Oh, God. It's like, wait, come into the podcast with a list of things.
And then this happens anyway. Let's get to your list. I have one thing for the list and I want to get to your list. So let's go.
I will say I did get myself a present too. What is it? Is it from the U style collection bedazzled as well? It's not.
Oh, that actually looks nice. Hmm. It says love and peace dot to dot. It's not a coloring book because I'm not allowed to buy those anymore because I have too many.
So it's probably something exactly like a coloring book. Yep. See, that's cheating because you can see what the picture is going to be already. You know, I thought that, but then I was too dumb to the top.
No, I didn't make any picture at all. No, let me show you the one I made. So first of all, is it a rainbow, a fruit tree or a horse? It turned out.
It was a word which I was not expecting. Surprise. Yeah. Also, I don't know what the word is.
But I did connect the dot correctly. She did it says, r-a-k-k-a-us rakus. I don't know man. I don't know, either because it literally does look like you connected– I did.
We're connected to dots. I remember thinking whoa, I remember being delighted the whole time being like, wow, I can't leave, I can't figure out what this is. They've done such a good job. And then I can't finish.
I was like, what is this? They did such a good job making it a different language that I don't speak. I mean, such a funny gift to give someone is like– There's our key. Oh my god.
Did you even examine this book? Ah, it's finished for love. Well, that's nice. There we go.
A little bit. Rokus. Rokus. Yeah, this is sort of an educational podcast.
It's all love and peace themed, and it's weird. There's different sections. So it's like symbols of love, words of love, international symbols of peace, general happy things. Hang on, let me find the other one I was working on.
Oh, dadair, dadair. It's odd that the word rakus would be the word for love. Maybe I already made that observation, but I'm going to say it again, because I believe that in my heart. That is weird.
Maybe I wonder what the... Oh, here we go. Oh god, what is that a drawing of? That's an Indian by a TV.
Why is that a symbol of peace? I don't know, man. It's not all the way filled in, so maybe it's an American picture of like, Bullard, I think America. I got bored.
Christopher Columbus's ship sailing away from America, never having landed imaginary images of peace. You're doing something with his hands. Don't fill it in. It's going to unleash a spell.
Number 37, Native American with peace pipe. That is peaceful. I wish I was feeling peaceful right now, if you know what I mean. Speaking of...
Should we do the list? Oh, let's, yes. Have you seen the movie with Sinbad, where he's a genie? No, I haven't, because it doesn't exist.
Did you ever think it did exist? I kind of... I'd heard about this a while ago, and then forgot about it, and then I read that article about it, and into the article I thought, oh, it must be Kazam. I was like, I must be thinking of...
I must just not be thinking of it correctly. But the weird thing is, the more they talked about it, the more I could totally imagine it, and I felt like I had memories of it, and the bear and same thing, the bear and same bear thing always throws me, because I do remember it being spelled a different way. I remember it being spelled a different way, too, but then when I look at the picture, when I look at any picture of the cover, I'm like, no, that looks real. Yeah.
So I don't know if I ever wrote it out myself, I think I just had it in my head. Anyway, yeah, so there's this thing called the Mandela effect, and it's when huge groups of people have a memory that isn't real. Right. And so apparently, I have watched two movies in my entire life, so I was not affected by this particular experience, sleight of hand.
Ooh. But there's this movie that doesn't exist. Shazam. That people said.
They had memories of like renting, watching, seeing it at Blockbuster, and it was a comedian, Sinbad, and he was a genie, and it was like the movie, Kazam with Shaquille O'Neal. Kazam, is that what it's called? Shazam. Yeah, no, Shazam's the one with Sinbad, that maybe doesn't exist, and Kazam's the one with Shaquille O'Neal.
Yeah, so I had seen the Shaquille O'Neal one, because my brother was a huge Shaquille O'Neal fan. And I never even knew about this thing, but there's so many people, and I read this thread on Facebook where people were like, I am so freaked out, because I have all of these memories that no one else put in my head. I was like, this is so interesting. And then I read a tweet where someone was like, wow, it's amazing that we had to invent this whole way of ignoring the fact that maybe we just are wrong about stuff.
And I was like, oh, that's true. Well, yeah, well, and that's the thing. Someone else in this thread basically was like, yeah, memories are completely unreliable. That every memory you have, every time you remember an old memory, you damage it.
Yeah. And so then the next time you remember it, it's like a game of telephone. You're remembering it the last time you remembered it, and it can get damaged all the way through the process. Well, and also if someone tells you something like about when you're a little kid, I feel like sometimes- You create it.
Yeah, you acquire the memory, sort of, because, you know? Yeah. It's kind of like in the giver when he gives him all the memories and then he uses them like he'll think about it and it like dims, like it's a little- I have not the giver. Wow, what's it like not to go to school in America?
You didn't go to school. And yet somehow I read it. It literally was like on everybody's reading list for like every grade I feel like. I know somehow I skipped it with my variety of schools.
I think there was like some, you know how like, some schools read it in fourth grade and some schools read it in fourth grade. Oh yeah, it makes sense. Because I went to like four different schools. I think some stuff I got like 20 times and some stuff I missed.
Oh, it's a good book. It's like American Classic. Yes, I've heard. I was reading a Harry Potter reference about how- Oh, because there- About how I always thought it was cool, how they, if you had a pencil, you could like store the memories blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was reading this article about memory and how it's useless. And I was like, oh, Harry Potter is real. Yes, absolutely. We've known that for a long time.
I know, I just like proof. It's a whole part of a plan. Do you feel like you have anything you remember that didn't happen other than most of my life? That's how I feel?
I feel like you don't remember most of your life. I, wait, what's your question? Do I have any like mistaken memories? Yeah.
Sometimes I forget stuff. But you're like a super remember. Yeah. You're like our way more than the average person.
You remember things down to like very specific details. So it must be, it's different for you. And I'm like, I think a worse remember than usual. Like I have a lot of trouble remembering things.
So which must be frustrating for, I don't know, everyone but especially for you. Sure. I think like, it surprises me if someone tells me something, and something that I feel like I should have remembered, and I don't remember it at all. They're like, oh, remember when this terrible thing happened to the two of us when we were in college, and I'm like, no.
Someone so said that about me? And they're like, yeah, it was awful. And I'm like, I don't remember that. And I'm like, oh, in my head, I'm like, clearly I like, blocked it out.
My subconscious is like horrible. Yeah. Nope. Yeah.
Nope. And so I've noticed when things like that happen. And then other times, it basically really freaks me out if someone has a memory that I don't have. And I'm like, whoa.
And I know that as I get older, that's just how it goes. Like, my brain is only so big. Like, some memories are going to slip away. And I wish I could be choosier about what they are, because I have a lot of really traumatic memories that I wish would slip away.
That would be great. One of our old family friends, I made a total story on a podcast that got deleted. So bear with me if it comes out again. But one of our old family friends kept very detailed diaries of every single day of his life.
He wrote down what happened that day. And he had a really interesting life. And he did that from the time he was like 10 or something. And it's insane.
And he died at 96. And I thought about how neat that would be to go back and be like, oh, what did I do? June 7, 1994. Like, what was I thinking about that day?
And what was the occurrences of the day? Such a simple thing to do. And yet I don't ever do it. Yeah.
My grandmother, second husband, had journals like that. And I remember one time I was snooping through their house. And I found a drawer with all of them. And I was like, what are these?
And I couldn't help myself. I picked one up and flipped through it. And I was like, oh, this is so mundane. Because every time I've ever kept a journal, it's to write down feelings.
Sure. Or to be like, I don't know what the word is. Like I have some sort of wisdom or beautiful thing to write. Some sort of self-important like, I must write those down.
Right. And me. Right. The world needs this pen to paper.
And his was like, went to dinner at such and such. Had lunch with blah blah. Worked this afternoon in Rancho. It was just like a factual diary.
And I was like, man. Boring. And I could tell that this whole dresser drawer was just full of these. And he was 90 something.
And I was like, man, he's been doing this forever. I do know that I do a pretty good calendar. And I even try to add stuff that's happened in the past so that I can always jog my memory. Because if I'm filling out a form, and it's like, or when was your last period or whatever, I can very easily deduce from the information that is in my calendar, what else happened that day?
Or more whatever. So. Our family friend who died had been a fighter pilot and a prisoner of war. And in every single war ever.
So his diaries were pretty interesting, I would say. And he would read to us from them sometimes. And it was like, whoa, you were a prisoner of war for two years. And that was the most horrible thing I can ever possibly think about.
And you had all these thoughts and feelings about it at the time. And I don't even know what the problem is, because I'm 13. But cool. Yeah, that's crazy.
And I think if you have 90 years worth or whatever, I bet it could be turned into a pretty good book, if you like. Oh, he had a bunch of books. And he was in the Library of Congress. And yeah, no, it was all taking care of, don't worry.
But I was still just like, that's amazing that you keep doing it. I guess at that point, it's such a habit. Yeah, I've started because I tend to record, even though I have a good memory. I have this reputation of saving everything.
Taking a million pictures. You always want to take pictures of everything. Yeah, and I've stopped. I've started trying less hard.
And one of the things I recently did was I didn't back up my text messages. Wow. And that's something that I've been doing for, I don't know, six years. Ever.
Yeah, like since I got on my phone and I have every text message ever backed up. And recently, this was a couple months ago, I really needed to space on my phone. Sorry, always, always in a gym. And I was like, well, I can delete all these text messages, but first I need to back them up.
That's hard work. OK, and then I was like, wait, no, I don't. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't.
No one else backs up text messages. This isn't a real thing. And I don't even use the backups, right? It's not like I go searching for something.
I think we used them for stats, though. You were like, oh, we've sent 35,000 text messages in the past eight years or eight minutes or whatever it was. And I liked that. I always love stats, analytics, numbers about my own life.
But I never liked looking up old text messages. It always makes me feel awful, even if it's fine and good. It's still just like, oh, like the past. Right.
It just feels, I don't know. It feels like looking in a window or something, it's just like not supposed to be doing it. Or opening a closet and then it has kind of that weird smell. And there's a box in the box of their pictures in there that you kind of like aren't bad pictures, but it'll just make you sad.
Right. You're like on the one hand, maybe I'll find this sweatshirt from high school that I loved. And on the other hand, maybe I'll find this letter that I wore. That I wore.
Yeah. When we broke up. Yeah, perfect. So yeah, I deleted them.
I deleted the text messages. Oh, that's big for you. Yeah. And it was like so easy.
And I was like, oh my god, it's so much easier to leave things than to do the whole damn process of backing them up. Kind of like our podcast. Kind of like what happened with our podcast. Yeah.
But we both got to say that in our own special way. Anyway, I like vaguely mentioned it to my therapist. Like, and here's the thing I did. Yeah, not even like right when I did it.
Like it came up another time. And she was like, hang on. She like interrupted my story to be like, you did what? That's huge.
And I was like, oh, wow, you really do know me. You're like, that's right, bitch. Personal growth. Learn it.
Know it. Live it. I sometimes feel because she's in school. So she has her master's degree.
And she's getting her PhD now. And I sometimes feel like I'm like, yeah, like now you'll get an A. I do leave my text messages. That's the most codependent and same thing to think.
Like I'm helping you by helping myself. No, that's but that's normal. That's how people relate to other people. It's never like that way.
No, it's no one can burn. No, like your thoughts about other people that you are in any sort of relationship with are always like two way thoughts. How? You always are like, that's what a relationship is.
That you give, you take, they give, they take. No, I think everyone in the world is an autonomous being, crashing around, bumping into things. Oh, I wish. That's my dream.
Yes. What else is on your list? I don't know. I left my list in the car accident.
But you were so excited about it and spoke of it so often. I had a fun game. I wanted to play. I just got fun.
Yeah, let's play your fun game. I want to play. OK, OK. So the premise of the game is that you have to think about what everything that you know about the other person.
And what would you pick for them their name? If you were going to pick for them a new name that was going to be their name forever, what would you pick? That feels like a hard game. I don't get it.
I just thought your name should be Safran. And I thought about that earlier today. And I was like, F-thos name should be Safran. Yeah.
Interesting. I feel like it fits in with your vibrant person. And your hippie-dippy. Sure.
I mean, I feel like it's one step away from Fereby, which is also an awesome name. You feel like what? Say that part again. It was cutting out a bit.
Oh, I said I feel like it's one step away from Fereby, which is also sort of an awesome name. And it was almost your real name. Yes. I do not feel like Safran and Fereby are related.
Sad. Fereby feels like a southern name. And Safran feels like a celebrity name. It does feel like a celebrity name.
You're born to be a star. Mm. I think my. So you want me to pick a name for you?
Yes. What would my name be? What should I change my name to? I don't know.
I mean, I used to hate the name Amanda before. I hate it now. When I was a kid, I hated it. Yeah.
I feel like when I was a kid, every Amanda I knew went by Mandy, which every Mandy I ever knew was a bitch. And I hated Mandy so much. Sorry, your name's Mandy. Anyone who's listening.
But I liked the name Mandy. I liked the books with a girl named Mandy in them. Mandy solved mysteries. Yeah.
I didn't read those. Because I tried one time and it was a really weird premise. It is a really weird premise. Like, it's so confusing thinking about it as an adult.
I remember reading them over and over again trying to understand the premise and trying to understand the geography. This is a super lit filled podcast. We've got the giver. We've got little house.
We've got Mandy. You know, we're kind of a lit experts, I would say. I mean, I did go to the library school. I'm a librarian-ish.
So I would call myself a reader. I put quotes around that. Yeah, I've read. OK, if you were trying to wrap your head around the geography.
Yeah, but it's kind of a boring story. And it's only applicable if people have heard of Mandy and her series of mystery books. So maybe one out of our zero- And there was the old ones, which didn't have technology and the new ones, I think, did. I don't think I know the new ones.
Oh, any of the ones that we probably read as young adults were the new ones, I think. Because the original ones were written during depression era. And they were very different. Indeed.
I have a question for you. Yes. Do you have any resolutions or any plans for 2017? Well, I'm very excited about 2017 because it's my favorite number.
It is. Oh, wow. I have been looking forward to the year for a very long time, simply because of the number. There were- Are you going to do a special birthday?
Oh, I don't know. Birthday year. Birthday year. Yay.
For a long time, I was like, oh, I should like get married or have a kid in 2017. But that's not happening. So let's just feel sad and depressed about that. What a resolution, my god.
I was hoping for maybe like read a book a week, but you really went for the jugular on that one. That was a wish and a dream from a long ago person. So I am not anymore. So, you try to get Haley and A.
She gets so many A's, dude. Yeah. I don't feel like I have a specific resolution except I'm just really excited about life on the road. Yeah, you're already kind of living with people's resolutions, so well done.
Right. Pretty much every person who ever talks to me says, I'm so jealous. I would love to do that. And I want to be like, I hate being the bitch who's like everybody says that, but also is literally the thing every person says to me.
I want to be like, yeah, do it. It's great. No, most people feel like they have too many ties holding them down here. No?
Yeah, fuck time, man. Kids, marriage, whatever. Goodbye 2017. Mm-hmm.
I have kids. Their names are Grayson and Ever. I have a marriage. Her name is Fairby.
Oh, Lord. Bam. Mary's metal tube, birth's fur babies. This is an article in the onion.
Where's an American family, all right? A modern family, if you will. Dude, I'm real proud of my potty trained cats. I'm not going to lie.
I do not want to talk about this. They're getting real good at traveling. They're not scared of the car anymore. Just you wait.
They're just lulling you into passivity and then they're going to turn on you real quick. No, never. They ran away the other day. He can't even tell me they're trained.
They didn't run away. They went exploring like wild animals, which they are. Domesticated cats are not wild animals. Tell them that.
Oh, brother. Yesterday, I was walking. This Ever and I were taking a walk. I was holding her and she was terrified.
And then a bunny went hopping by and she suddenly forgot to be terrified because she was like, a bunny. And I was like, yes. See? You should enjoy these walks.
I'm sure your little lecture helped a lot. Can you hear the dogs barking? Yeah. I'm about to give the most insane diatribe about that, but that's final.
I'll just not. My gift to my Christmas gift to you. I feel like I didn't come up with the name for you. All I said was I used to not like the name Amanda.
Yeah. And then I started talking. I feel like all the names I would pick for you are names that I already know that you are into Like what like Margaret or Mary Mary I'm not even Mary About me you could be Savron oh That's so weird and we could be twins. Oh my god.
We were just talking earlier about how obsessed you are with twins And how you want I love them. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I feel like you and thea Psychically manifested Ellie into having twins by the way Yes, so our friend Ellie is pregnant with twins and I'm losing my mind because I'm obsessed with twins I've been obsessed with twins my entire life And I feel like a lot of kids are but I like I feel like kids outgrow it around like seven or eight and I never outgrow it When I like when I was 12 I made my friend Veronica be my twin and we had big twin names and we I made a swear matching clothes and like she But grudgingly went along with it Veronica's the nicest person.
I've ever not met in my life. Yeah, she was yeah I was impressed if you had twins. What would you name them? This is like so boring?
I don't know. Why do you keep asking me name questions? I'm sorry. I don't know.
It's just on my brain. I guess okay, so are you? Oh my god. No, are you sure?
Maybe questions is such a pregnant thing. Is it no? I was just thinking about it today because someone called me emenda like in an email They were like and then I was like that's so interesting What if my name was emenda? And then I started thinking about when you've changed when people changed their names when they get married which I have such strong opinions about and I was like What if when you got married your husband was like here's your new first name?
And that was just like your new name you went by because that's kind of what they do now They're like here's your new last name that you go by well I just crazy because that's not your name There's like religions where when you join the religion you change your name or if you like become a priest or the pope or the queen The queen you gotta pick your name like a badass So that's agency man that is agency. I feel like you gotta pick your name too through the pope man I went to a christmas party two weeks ago And I had a little too much to drink don't tell anybody and uh we kept I met this tv writer there And we kept talking about the young pope this new tv show on HBO and it's Jude Law and it looks like all he does is like bang people and murder people And he's the pope it's crazy. It looks like the most insane show and there's no way to figure out what the hell it's supposed to be about It's just crazy and we spent so much the party pointing at each other shouting the young pope this guy fucks the young pope this guy fucks Like over and over again for literally probably 20 minutes. So that's how much I had to drink and then later I want to have a drink.
Oh my god. This story is so boring Like on one of our last episodes you started talking about the act as I was like no All right, I'm taking the hint. Do you have any resolutions for me? You have nothing you're just living your best life No, but I was gonna say that your name you picked What oh a man to me.
Uh-huh. I stopped going by it this year. You did what? Like I don't put that on anything anymore.
Why? I don't know. I just stopped it seemed frivolous Wait, you picked a new name that you went by professionally and personally for over 10 years and then you stopped Well, there's no one else with either name in the world. So it doesn't really matter So I need to distinguish myself from the other man to Mikey out there No, I get that because I have my name's kind of similar But like just me all my loans some no husband no kids No cats No, no tin can Nope.
I've got nothing It's a messy house. It's not like a housewife in a Virginia wolf novel I don't think I've read an Virginia wolf But I did see the movie the hour. Well, we all saw the movie the hours good movie That is a good movie. I like the part with um ed Harris.
Okay. Now. This is devolved again Which one where is he when he's seen the movie? Uh, he and meryl Streep are friends and he plays he has he have AIDS?
Yeah, he's the artist Cool. Is he Jackson Pollock? Yeah, maybe no. I think he's Jackson Pollock in a different movie that came out like the same year I like him.
I like him in the movie about divorce and kids. He's good in everything. Yeah, it's true, but I've worse than kids Uh, I think that's him and Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts. Is that him?
Oh stepmom. Yes Uh, you love stepmom. I don't know. I haven't seen it in a long time.
I do love stepmom I'm really breaking up the happy marriage to mary ed Harris like today. I I don't know. I don't know. I like I said, I'm hot.
So talk was she? I just remember her telling the young girl some sort of horrible slur to say to the boy What? Remember she was like telling me he's a snowblower or something she did that or or Yeah, because Susan Sarandon got really mad about it. I was like, don't teach my daughter dirty things to shout at boys at school.
Which she has a fair point. Yeah, no, it was it was all It was all so we're sending your balance stepmom. Yeah, exactly. Um, I remember Susan Sarandon's beautiful house and then her smoking pot outside of it Scandalous.
They probably wasn't even supposed to be in the movie and they just worked it in, you know, no, it's because she had cancer spoiler alert Uh Tragedy and so she realizes she needs to make nice with stepmom and teach the stepmom how to be the child of the parent child whatever words It's a good movie Mm. My only resolution for the new year. I feel like I probably should just have one. Do you want me to ask you what your resolution is?
Now you don't seem to give a shit about this resolution segments since you keep deflecting and then not engaging But you're the one that left your list in the car and I am carrying this podcast on my bare shoulders I'm so glad I know right like sis of us wait. No, he's the wrong one atlas Oh god, can I write anything more which one is what are we saying? Sis of this is the greek guy who pushed the rock up the hill and then went down to the bottom of the hill and he pushed it up again over and over and over again and Well, he was in hell. He was damned to do it forever.
Oh Um, hence the phrase a sis of fiend task is like if you keep doing something over and over again and you have to do it and it's terrible Um my life. Yeah, basically just everyday life is also found in the dictionary under that Um, and then atlas is the god who carries he's actually one of the titans I think who carries the world on his shoulders And he moves around and carries the entire world on his shoulders. Is that where the name atlas shrugs comes from? Um, I think so I've heard that Nobody has fun fact wait.
Oh, no people just read the fountainhead No people people read both. I'm just making a terrible iron ran joke. That wasn't actually funny lit for lit cast our new podcast We were doing right now Sort of we try to remember the wikipedia entries of books that we haven't read is essentially what this has come down to or we've seen movies Based on books and we're trying to remember the movie or the wikipedia of the movie Yeah, which I often look up when I see trailers for movies that are thrillers that I know I'm never gonna see because they're just a little too scary But I will look at the wikipedia so I can know how the mystery ends Like that one movie where blinsey lohan and she it's a twin movie. I think where she's a ghost or something A twin or a ghost in lindsey lohan.
There's a car accident or a murder. No freaky friday. Hang on. Let me google Those are both good guesses.
Those are both good guesses by the way because they both do kind of lindsey lohan My computer just automatically pulls that up now because it's my most searched thing So it's just like more about lilo and I'm like, yes, thank you movie Watch it's not her and it's like some other starlet and I'll never be able to find what I'm talking about It's me. It's probably me shabartan. I know who killed me 2007 good blorne. How do you even know that?
What you what now you know you're do you know what I'm talking about now? No, I've never seen it the film's story revolves around a student's twin who was abducted and tortured by a sadistic serial killer She manages to make it out alive, but after she regains consciousness in the hospital She insists that her identity is that of another woman That sounds so boring. The trailer like suggested this like mystery like twins switching places Confusingness Yeah, oh Maybe it's like twins that were separated at birth and so like one dies and one lives and the one who lives they think is the one who died There's it's you know, it's just a whole identity And one of them's like a sex worker and one of them's like a pretty girl in college or whatever You know, you know one of those All right, should we uh do some joke life moments? I didn't actually get to say what my resolution was Hey, Amanda.
So sure hey Amanda. Do you have any resolutions for 2017? Well, Abigail, let me tell you I'd love to make my movie I feel like I should only have one goal and I should just do that and that should be my goal. That's my resolution.
That's great Thank you and also to um oh so not just one goal No, I was trying to find a way to plug my book since I plugged it on a lost episode so I don't think you actually did plug it on a lost episode, but go ahead plug it I wrote a book. It's love. I know it's short stories Um, we'll put a link on two girls talking about club the official fan site and home of all things two girls talking Yeah, it's a it's a boppin hop in corner of the web Yep Anyway, it's short stories and pictures that I took and I did lay out and I printed it myself And I will mail it to you and if you like I can sign it or write a note inside It's up to you and it's only $10 which is so cheap and free to have a little piece of my heart with you at all times Also, your friend Kristi is the cover photo And she does such a good job people like I told me they bought it because they like that picture so much I'm like good false advertising. Nothing inside is as good as that people talked to me about picture too Oh, they did what they say um They were like I didn't even realize that first I was Kristi and then they asked if it was a posed picture And I said no, but I mean it took it because it looked so like legit like this was kind of post No, Kristi was laying there on the floor But then we it's in a series though on my phone where we made her do a bunch of stuff like we made her like pretend a whole A bottle of alcohol that was like so it is kind of posed and that we like made her do all these shots And I kind of remember telling her like look really sad and look kind of dead and she did that so She already but she already did look that way, which is why she was already slung to the ground.
Yeah, exactly I don't think she was gonna let me use it because her skirt is so short, but she's a good sport And she was like of course you can use it like the true American hero. She is she is an American hero And she should always wear short skirts. I know she looks awesome. Yep.
All right joke life moments Uh did I not mention my trash shoes striking fear to the heart of others? I feel like my joke life moment has been covered Actually, this will upset kind of in one joke life moment after another. I'm just kind of the point of joke Oh, we have a user submission. Should you go to that?
Yeah, no you should go to it since I Do you have it there? Can you read it? Yeah, I can read it this Reader let me tell you we were very surprised today to get a message Um Was not expecting it at all but because you know we figured nobody but us listens to this podcast Also, we ask for joke life moments submissions all the time and we rarely get them in fact when we do get them They're texted to us not submit it through our website But we'll take what we can get and we're ever grateful for anyone who submits one We're not discriminating and if you'd like to submit your joke life moment and get a shout out on air You can do that at two girls talking about club where you can also buy my book Um, okay, the uh, okay. This comes from maddie.
It's hi. My name is mattie first off I absolutely love your podcast. It makes my day my friends and I are all huge fans and love listening One of my i know so nice, but i'm a little suspicious Who are these friends and who is huge fans love listening? This is all a bit suspicious to me because I can't imagine anybody feeling that way, but okay One of my mini joke life moments happened yesterday My friend and I were going to see lala land which I loved I was in a rush to make it on time And we were going to a nice theater story of my life mattie I didn't have any dresses clean.
So I had to wear a dirty one story of my life as well I got whoever has dresses clean No one no one in the world. It's impossible to do it Maddy continues I got there and my friend had already gotten our seats So I was rushing to get my ticket the employee gave it to me and said enjoy the movie and of course I replied you too It's just one of those moments where I literally want to hold to open up for me to fall into yesterday sucks But at least I like the movie anyway you two seem like girls I would love to be friends with I laugh all the time anyone who laughs all the time is welcome to be our friend Let me tell you because that's pretty much all we do that is all we do dirty dresses and going to movies Though, well, I don't go to movies. No, you've never been to movie. I went to And I didn't like lala land.