211 - Swirlie receiver takes down international crime

Nic Cage has to team-up with his partner "Dead Meat" and a 16 year old bullied teenager to take down a team of bank-robbing mercenaries that have a combined IQ of DUUUUMMMMBBBB. Here comes the idiot plot. Yes its a DTV Nic Cage movie. You probably know what you're getting into with this. Is it his worst? No. Is it fun? Well.....If you like the idiot plot (all drivers of the plot must be total morons or the movie doesn't happen) then yes. You'll like this. Is it the movie we wanted to see out of this premise? Nope. The thing is that the heisting aspect and subsequent danger our protagonists are put into is so incredibly trite and somewhat uninteresting that 3/4 of the movie is checkout time. We've seen it all before. Guys go into building, take hostages, unprepared police find a way to take them down. What is different is that the villains are absolute idiots. Their entire plan appears to have hinged on illegal parking.  "Oh no, we've lost our parking space. What do we do?!?!" "Only thing we can do. Kill the hostages and then walk out the front door into a hail of bullets." "Good thing we put you in charge because my plan was to try to use leverage to get a chopper or even just go out the back of the building. Man, am I stupid." Its really hard to root for the good guys here because the bad guys are so completely worthless. Which completely takes you out of the movie and leaves you wishing you'd just watched Kenny go on a ride-along and find a new father figure who takes care of that bully problem. This is a don't bother.