214. The martial art of Dog Style Fist

Welcome to the circus. There is a rare Chinese martial art called Dog Style Kungfu or Dog Style Fist. It is an external martial art and the practitioners move around like domesticated dogs. Now, for most of you, when I say Dog Style, you are thinking either about guard dogs, working dogs or the dogs used in illegal dog fights. But the movements are none of that. Logically our default images make sense, but instead what you see is a bloke on all fours moving like a house pet begging half the time for a doggie snack. It's because of this that until now, I could never figure out the style. After all, they look rather comical and should be part of a clown circus routine. And then... It hit me: I have been judging external appearances by external martial art standards. And by external standards it is easy to see why it would remain a rare style. Who the hell would want to learn such a humiliating style? But then my internal martial art standards came forth to ask these questions: 1. It looks dumb, but looks are deceiving. In China, to be called a dog is to be called a slave. It's as bad as being called a housen***er in America. So shouldn't we go deeper? 2. The movements are comical like a clown's. And clown's are traditionally associated with circuses. The circus is full of people who aren't what they appear to be. Actors on a stage living out alternative lives for our amusement and in return we pay them gold. So shouldn't we be following the money on this? 3. Dogs are loveable, and depending on what type of dog it is, they have a way to willingly get us to give them our plate of food. So what this means is, if you ever find yourself fighting a guy who knows and does dog style fist, you might want to watch your own hands because you could be thinking that you are punching him but the reality could be that you are actually feeding him. Could be that be the reason why your punches are hanging no effect whatsoever on him? If you have ever seen the movie 'Snatch' by director Guy Ritchie, then you will remember the Gypsy boxer character played by Brad Pitt. In his fight scene, he sorted of acted like the internal style dog (in spirit, not in form) and then became the external style dog to win the fight (in spirit, not in form). And that reminds me. This is for all you baguazhang practitioners out there, who want to prove your moves are shit hot. Number one: You're an internal martial artist so stop playing by other people's rules and lose the gloves. Number two: Stop claiming you do baguazhang when your posture and moves look like traditional western boxing. And number three: If you must wear gloves, don't get in the ring. It's a setup and you will lose. Danny the Dog in front of you, will kick your ass and post the video on the internet for all eternity to mock you. So remember I'm talking about Dog Style Fist, NOT doggy style fisting. There is a difference.