216: He Was Terminated Twice and Filed for Divorce. Sober Since May 5, 2018

He was terminated twice. He filed for divorce. He gained 60 pounds and drank on the highs AND the lows. Then May 5, 2018, he walked out of an AA meeting and hasn't touched alcohol since.   Nick Jonsson is a licensed specialized counselor, best-selling author of Executive Loneliness (the book coined a term that now has its own dedicated Wikipedia page), leads one of Asia's largest networks of senior executives, is a TEDx speaker on sleep, and an Ironman triathlete who splits time between Sweden and Asia. He's also the father of a 17-year-old son and a working husband.   In this conversation, Nick and Ted go deep on the drift that destroys high-performing men — the anxious-overachiever wound that made them successful in the first place, the 68% of executives who have nobody to confide in (per Harvard Business Review), the corporate stigma that keeps men silent even when they know better, the KLM Tenerife disaster that shows what fear of speaking up actually costs, and Nick's 5-Step framework from Executive Loneliness for the man ready to come back.   Plus the through-line Nick applies to triathlon, executive coaching, marriage, sleep, and time — the "principles that work in this work in all areas of life" reframe that turned a mediocre triathlete into an Ironman PR-setter and a man 60 pounds lighter with 30 years of marriage ahead of him.   If you're a high-performing man between 25 and 55 with more contacts than you have people to actually call — this one's for you.   Key insights from this episode: The anxious-overachiever wound that made you successful (and why healing it doesn't kill your edge) Why 68% of senior executives have nobody to confide in — and why 84% won't even tell HR Multiple purposes, not one — the "keep steady in the middle" reframe from 12-step recovery The KLM Tenerife disaster — what fear of speaking up actually costs Nick's 5-Step framework from Executive Loneliness Take Stock. Who Can You Talk To. Get Healthy. (Plus what comes next.) Sober since May 5, 2018 — the exposure sequence that changed everything Sleep half an hour more, break your Ironman PR (Nick's TEDx origin) Removing the TV from the bedroom — and other things Nick surrendered Own your shit — Nick's final answer, the biggest transformation of his life   Chapters: 00:00 The confession — terminated twice, 60 pounds, drinking on emotions  01:00 Welcome brother — Ted's intro  01:26 What keeps high-performing men isolated?  02:06 The anxious-overachiever wound  03:04 The wound that made you successful (and the fear of healing it)  05:44 Multiple purposes vs. one why  07:20 Keep steady in the middle  08:35 The Harvard 68% stat  09:58 Nick's own survey (30% / 75% / 84%)  11:00 If you break a leg you see a doctor. If you break your emotions, you hide.  11:43 Therapy as maintenance, not crisis  13:21 Stigma, the corporate ladder, and resilience  15:22 Real-world consequences of vulnerability  18:10 The KLM Tenerife disaster  20:19 Chernobyl, night shift, and mistakes made from silence  22:13 Step 1 — Take Stock  23:31 Step 2 — Who Can You Talk To  25:19 The May 5, 2018 exposure sequence (wife, doctor, friend)  27:00 The tribe found — the urge lifted  27:49 The primal fear of rejection 29:14 The three people you'd call at 2 a.m.  30:30 Build safe spaces in the good times  31:32 Being discerning with who you offload to  32:56 The through-line — from recovery to triathlon  34:23 Applying the same principles to everything  35:00 Signing up for a triathlon tribe (coach, cycling club, swim academy, running club)  36:14 The sleep experiment — 30 days of half an hour more  37:00 The TEDx that came from sleeping more  37:34 Ted on the sleep struggle  39:48 Discipline, accountability, and "just keep going"  41:19 The Ironman as a mini-life  41:50 Ted on Hyrox  44:06 How Nick manages time (paid to remove the bedroom TV)  44:45 Say a lot of no. Hit many birds with one stone.  45:30 Cycling with his 17-year-old son  47:09 Where to find Nick and Executive Loneliness  48:36 Own your shit — the biggest transformation  49:53 Outro and Ted's recap 🤝 Connect with Nick Jonsson: Website: www.nickjonsson.com Facebook: @jonhannah.berryhill3 Instagram: @jonssonnick LinkedIn:  @nick-jonsson YouTube: @NickJonsson Book: Executive Loneliness — Amazon (Kindle, paperback, Audible):  https://www.amazon.com/Executive-Loneliness-Overcoming-Isolation-Depression-ebook/dp/B091B1Y3WZ Wikipedia page: Executive Loneliness (dedicated page on the term Nick coined):  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Loneliness TEDx: "Nick Jonsson sleep on TEDx" 👉 About The Modern Man: The Modern Man is here to provide the structural discipline required for men to scale their impact while enforcing a strict sovereign life. Tools of Time Course: Master your daily structure: Tools of Time   Free eBook Here: Mastering Self-Development: Strategies of the New Masculine: https://rebrand.ly/m2ebook   ⚔️JOIN THE NOBLE KNIGHTS MASTERMIND⚔️ https://themodernmanpodcast.com/thenobleknights    🤝CONNECT WITH THE MODERN MAN🤝 Visit our website: themodernmanshow.com Follow us on Twitter: TheModernMan8  Follow us on Instagram: @TheModernManShow  Subscribe to our YouTube channel: The Modern Man   #modernmanpodcast #nobleknights #executiveloneliness #nickjonsson #anxiousoverachiever #mensmentalhealth #sobriety #masculineleadership #ironmantriathlete #ownyourshit #highperformer #fatherhood