22. Do You Know What Makes You Lovable?

Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases and words. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. The music is called Bangolet by Blue Dot Hey, how ya doin’? Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Today, Do You Know What Makes You Lovable? This question comes from a beloved listener. I think this is a great question. Thank you, Owl. This is what I have come up with, more questions than answers. I’ll leave the rest to you.  A job interview requires a profound knowledge of self, our strengths, and our areas of opportunity (which I think is a total euphemism, but let’s stay positive, shall we?). As I was saying, an interview requires us to present our best self. In class, we work on talking points, crafting our speech to make it clear and as winning as possible. We must have evidence of what we are saying, you’ve got to back ti up. We are used to looking for the facts; I’ve done this, and here are my results. Aren’t I spectacular? Can’t you see me doing amazing things for your company? We offer words to create images of possibility and success. I hardly believe anyone goes into an interview saying:  I have good days, but on my worst days, it takes everything I have to get out of bed. I wish I had made other decisions. I will give the bare minimum if I feel you don’t appreciate me and the work I do. If I sniff out you are exploitative, I’ll silently quit on you.  Frankly, I love it when people are that upfront with me in any circumstance, even if it doesn’t feel that good. It is always better to know where you stand with someone. In case you have any doubts. The information you are given or find out allows you to recalibrate your expectations and even the relationship. That is great. But that is not what I’ve come to share, and furthermore, ask you…  Do you know what makes you lovable? By now, we should have this down. This information should be readily available and top of mind. Love starts from within, doesn’t it?  Some might say, what is there not to love? Look at me!!! I’m adorable.  I don’t know what percentage of the population is capable of that. However, for the rest, there might be a measure of humility, and for others that might be overdone and fall into the category of self-deprecation. Information on what makes you lovable should be even clearer to you than the information you present at an interview. In case you don’t have an answer, I have a suggestion. Consider starting in a space where you are alone with your thoughts, fears, and desires. Observe yourself. Consider appreciating your body for the joy it brings you, the pleasure you feel when getting caught in the rain or under the covers, and how it feels to come up with ideas. The warmth you feel when you do something you love. What if you pay attention to your skin and everything that goes on under it, from your ticklish feet to your tingling brain. Consider the thoughts that make you giggle and even laugh out loud when nobody is around. What about the way you care about the people you love? Do you get any of that for yourself?  You should, you know?  What if you start there? I think another question that can get us there is: what do you like people to know about you? What would you like people to know about you? I wonder what else we should be asking.  I wonder if the effects of truly recognizing those things and not going down the narcissistic rabbit hole that is mirror, would have different results on our lives and communities, for