Can you talk smack now? No, it's not. Can you talk smack now? Yeah.
Smack, talk smack. Yeah. It's really like your father. What do you talk smack?
The glasses at the end of your nose, Peter? No, he talks smack. What is smack? What's smack?
Oh, that's not very kind of noise. It's just a J-rated version. Oh, so J-rated talking. You know she knows what?
What was that going to like? Spunky, mean spunky. Spunky. Spunky.
Yeah. What spunky? Take another spunky. Yeah, spunky is like, yeah.
We didn't think she would know what it was. Anna, you know what spunky is? Yeah. It's just like I'm going to get the asking.
Anyway, let's not go there. Do I ask the other one? What's the other one? Spunk.
It's spunk. Do you know what spunk is? I know what. I do.
Yeah, see? I know what. The other one. The other one is...
Spool... I know what the other one is. Spool. I know what the other one is.
Spool. No, no, no. I know what the other one is. I know what the other one is.
Spool. I know what the other one is. Spool. Not bad word.
I like good morning and all that stuff. Come on, pick starter up. I got things to say. Good morning.
The one that's left is the cook. The cook has left, so we've got no food tonight. You know why I say that? Why do you say that?
Okay, we've been a holiday, so... So we've been a holiday? For how long? And all I've been looking for is spaghetti bolognese.
We've been off for a couple of weeks. Thailand, no spaghetti bolognese. Are we going straight to holidays? Yeah, I went to Canberra, no spaghetti bolognese, spaghetti bolognese, but there was a store opening.
There was a big picture of spaghetti bolognese. Right, I'll walk out of the toilet and I go look at that, they're teasing me. So what, the shop was using camera? Canberra, that wasn't camera, but in Thailand, they don't even know what spaghetti bolognese.
Let's talk about holidays, Thailand. How'd you go? Where'd you go to Thailand? Where'd you go to Thailand?
Shall I tell you where'd I go? Was it bouquet? I went very late because it'd be booked and I was like... You got a bank cocked?
You got a CD, what'd you go to the resort? No, you went. I went, what was the last minute thing for me? Yep.
Like, why'd the kids already going? So you don't know where you went? What's the name of the hotel? You went to the hotel?
Yeah, fuck it. Right, yes. Yeah, that was right. Right, I went there.
How was it? Very different. You went with your family? Yes, and I kept on saying...
You were laughing too good for children? Not once, I know. Yes, it's... Man, this is going to sound so bad.
I don't like countries... Dirty? Yeah, sorry. I don't mean to be a fence wire.
Well, it's not a Singapore or Japan. For an Asian country, Thailand is pretty... But it's called working cars. In saying that, my daughter, because she's good at that frickin' Ubersch stuff.
Yeah, they're over there. Uber and another... Leave for G. Grunts or...?
I can't remember. No, it's something they take in other places. No, no. Now, that was every first handout, fair doubt.
And my daughter took us to some very nice restaurants. You know what I mean? Because my daughter wasn't there, who's 21. I wouldn't have got to know about that.
So she did all the research found out. No, she just... Oh, I did it. I didn't know it.
I went to this tree hill or something like that. But on the edge of the cliff, beautiful place. Oh, is that the right side of the beach at the top of the hill? Right, no.
On the cliff. It was dark. Yeah, we'd be there. It was dark.
It was dark in the Uber and the Uber... No, the main beach at Pecat, Patongue Beach. I don't know. What were the bars of the street?
No, no. It was more dark. Right, even the Uber driver got out and walked a little bit down the street because he left us at the top of the street. And then I think he came back and I got a little worry about it.
I'm so far walked down there. Did you swallow any of the local water? Like... I just brush on top of everything.
Did you judge your pressure? I'm in the other picture, but... Because my wife did it was a bit... Ten years ago, we went with the kids and kids were like six.
Strangely. And she convinced my kids do not drink the local water. So these kids for two days were scared to jump in the pool. I said, stop poisoning their minds and let them relax a bit.
So they started swimming. We shabby their mouths, etc. The kids were following the last night. We went to that restaurant on the cliff.
They laid their carving fruit shapes and flowers out of fruit. And there was a massive ice sculpture. What does my little one do at the end of the night? Starts licking the ice.
No, it didn't get sucked to it. No, it didn't. But she got sick the next day. So all the other on the fly she had buried her.
Every... I got set photos of another guy there who's married a tiger. Yeah. He said to one of my friends, he said to me, pictures of scorpions and all this weird stuff.
Did they eat? Yeah, I don't see none of that. I ate off a couple of street stores, ate pancakes. Like these banana pancakes.
I ate all that. Do you have a buffet there? Yes. What buffet?
Breakfast buffet. Yes. I thought I'll tell you one quick thing. They've got a room with everything cold, like your fruits and all that.
So I walk in there and they're salami, like a platter like they tend to. And I'll play next to it. Those these walk up cheesy cheese, I thought it was. So I'll go and pick one.
I think I'm going to go and go. I'll freaking grab the meat. I'll put it in the middle, roll it up, bang down the throat. I don't know about two of them.
I thought it comes up before me. Dad, do you like this, Quiles eggs? I go, just Quiles eggs. Quite, quite, quite.
I thought that'd be like this. Quiles eggs. Oh, I swear it up for the next two days. Because I knew what they were.
I'll still get my throat. Oh, you can taste it afterwards. I just couldn't handle it. Did you make your kids like get a bag of more food in there?
No. They do. And that result, they had a pond. We've, uh, fishing it.
We've, I think the Quiles. Yeah. Quiles eggs. Big size there.
Feed the fish. Feed the fish. Oh, why the eye for the fish? What's your favorite sandwiches?
Yeah. Well, me and my son were finished buffet. We would walk past the buffet. Piece of bread, muffin, this, bacon, sausages.
We took everything. Mate, the fish loved it. Fuck it, I thought that. Eating hard.
The second day, there was this cute couple there in from my room or whatever. I could see it. I started yelling up because I had this little pouch thing and it was like spr- as if they were, how do you say it like, throwing in seeds. Yeah, you like the fish flakes.
And I go, what are you just feeding them? And I go, the food is behind the, you know, if you look at the sign, it says where to get a frog. You're a fuck. You're a fuck.
I've been feeding a toast, sausages, bacon, map a dog on craze a day with a photo. And then on top of each other, try to get out. We're in the floating side. No, no, no.
They were happy. They were happy fish. I'm telling you, my son and a cup, so he put them in the cup, put them in the ground. They couldn't wait to get back in.
I thought, wait a minute. Mate, we had a, we did, but we had a few problems too. We don't. They got cheap fish.
They're expensive. They're expensive. They're cool. Mate, we actually threw a teap tail.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the mature one. It's what he called tea. Uh, not tea tail. Uh, not tea tail.
Yeah. And I had juice all over it. So me and my son were, are good who's gonna goin' and get it? Because you know, we didn't like it.
And the fish was still like biting it and spitting it back out. Anyway, he tried it. What's your sweet little bear? The, the, the, the, the, the savviet film of the water.
Yeah. And juice from the stuff we carried out of the. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Because we don't want to get the juices on our hands. Yeah, of course. And I'll argue on trying to push each other in together. They're not something on the corner of my eye.
I see this frickin' black thing. Hey, no bullshit. If it wasn't a meter. Was it a dawful fin?
Was it? Shut up. Frickin' none. Look, in the pool.
In that moat. In that, in the, the fish where? Well, that's not a fish tank. No, it was like a natural.
History, like, oh fuck. Is that animals in there? Man, I tell you. What was it?
Me and shit. It was probably a deal. And I see two of them. They had a dawful fin.
Had a dawful fin. So we did. What was going on? Hey, let me tell you that.
That paper towel stayed in there. Those are coming out. Other things is. Drinking chucks.
Me and my son always bash each other up. Right? So what do you call them? Four wheelers bashing each other, pushing each other, slapping each other.
That's the virus thing. Yeah. I'll kick him every now and then and it's slide out. So what'd you hide them to go for?
Yeah, no. What if I follow on us? Yeah. It was a proper thing.
We had a zip ring for the trees. Anyway, I went to the side to go myself. You know what? I have looked down the side and said 200 meters raw.
Fuck. And my son's about to be able to stuff a few trees or banana trees. And you're still kicking him? No, no, I stopped.
I stopped because I realized next day we go jet skiing. Yes. And we're wollered. You're just going to show up the jet skis aren't.
So you're insured? The jet skis aren't. Okay, now it's going to happen. We're not going to be stupid.
We're just going to drive. So within two seconds, I'm going to flip him and pull out. I fall in the sturdy water panic. I lose my sunglasses and I've got it in Vegas.
Yeah. And I get back on. Okay, this little prick, I'm going to get him. So now you're kicking on the jet ski?
I'm kicking him on the jet ski. I'm trying to get close enough to him and the guys go in the air. So the front end, they're telling us to step around. I'm sitting right at the front of the place you got him from.
No, this is further up up. You go with someone. I'll take you from a guy. Okay.
And they've warned us, don't scratch him. Because he can see him taking photos. Anyway, so I got next to kicking or snapping him. We've done good those, these Russians there who ran at a rock and they left him there and someone else picked him up.
Anyway, probably half an hour left after 60 hours of all stuff. He got me real good. I had real got me in the iron-offs pissed off. Well, with the spray.
Yeah. Yeah. And he, I wanted jet ski. I wanted jet ski.
Okay. Mate, I'm going to get this prick. So I'm flat out to turn it and really wipe him out. Well, the thing didn't turn.
I landed on top of him. Oh, fuck. I broke the mirror. I broke the theory.
Broke him. I hit him just on the top of the other jet ski. I'm talking for him in the jet ski. Fuck you.
Yeah. Is he all right? Yeah. Okay.
Remember, you tried to kill me on the jet ski, he says to me. Anyway, so the guys come back. Yeah, travel insurance. Yeah, I don't know if I could claim it.
Can I? No, you can die. There's a lot of features, isn't it? So anyway, the only time I've seen he's flat out was him on the back of the skit, on this because he could ride his end.
They've got him on the whole day. Does he? No. I'm quite still on the day.
I thought the steering was bent. Oh, I got me. It was broken. And his mother, he's flat out on the jet ski.
All day, she's been popping around. She's straight past me to him on the back of the ski. The ski is all right. And we're moving.
She doesn't even ask me if I was all right, didn't care. Well, you know, like, you're probably worth more. We go back to the place and there's like hundreds of people there. Like it's a big operation.
Made some of them make a lot of money. The jet ski place. Yeah. It was daylight when we got there.
Yeah. Once whole week left, it was dark. I'll do all the paperwork. The police come?
No. Well, they kept asking, hospital, hospital, hospital. Like, he's all right. I'm pushing away.
He's all right. He's all right. They have to set the bill comes. For the damage or for everything?
For the damage. Just the damage to his ski. Yeah. Free Australian, 3,400.
So now you're sure you had no insurance? You couldn't get insurance. Anyway, so my wife decides to hack. She said, it's dark.
Dark, guys. We're the only ones there in this place. No, you're just right. I was waiting for her.
Were you fixed cars? Was it that much damage? Yes. I snapped them.
You were off and started fearing. I hit the hang of my office. It's fine. Hey, I got one to go.
Just pay the fuck up. Let's get down there. Please. Just pay.
Because you know what? Not once did they mention my jet ski and my jet ski had a graze on the side of it. Okay. So you knew there was more.
Yeah. Anyway, we paid it. We got out of there and left. I let me tell you it's an experience.
It's like everyone who I've told about jet ski. Oh, did they suck you into paint? Well, I actually damaged the thing. I know what you knew you did.
I mean, you were your father. The thing, he went to take off and it's gone around. So you didn't have enough of the hospital to drink. Oh, come on.
You're on his side too. So like, what's his mother? Pretty much what you're saying is the same one. What do you mean?
No, like what? What? So that's always my biggest fear when we go away. Like, as long as everyone comes back alive and healthy, like, having an accident.
Like, you know. Same thing as I said. We were attracted to you with the chips. We also went another trip.
We went to something else. I'll talk about something else. I'll talk about wildlife too. Okay.
We'll talk about cars. Okay. I'm talking about, well, apparently I'm not responsible with my son. Because doing burnouts and having him in a burnout in a car.
So you're not separate. You're still married, but you're not only allowed to have your son at six hours a day. And you're not going to supervise. Because doing burnouts are given the facts.
The only married couple that's got buried deep plans to protect yourself. Well, you know what happened in the house at island. I've already split over twice. Anyway, so we went.
How was your whole year? We do Christmas photos with my sister and her kids. It's become a tradition. The kids are like 20 years old now.
It's nice. So how does the niggal of the father Christmas? I said behind him. Okay.
I'm not allowed to sit on him anymore. Plus he did. Well, yeah. I'm going to go there the last time I said.
You want to be so this old song? Hey, you are looking very well. Well, I'm going to be the kool-aid. Sort of get comfortable in the economy again, actually.
But what's... What? I got the big shoulders. I can't hate it when they're driving each other on the side.
So my wife booked it. We went to a restaurant first because last year we went. We were looking for food. There was nothing open.
Cindy shuts down at 9.30. Nothing's open. Which is it? Cindy, man.
It just shuts down. So this year we went for dinner first. My sister comes in for an LA. We're like, come on.
We've got to go. We've got the booking at 8.30 for the photos. So we just finished dinner. No dessert at the go.
Left the restaurant. Went to... There's a queue. But you got a pre-book.
Especially on the last day of the Saturday for Christmas. There's never any... You can't just walk in. So they put us in the front of the queue.
Because we're like literally right there at 8.30. Then they're typing in my wife's name and they looked at it on the go. You'll meet to be here at 8.30. Here we are.
A.M. She's brought up. Fucking... A.M.
So we apologise for being 12 hours late. Not 10 minutes late. Then we've got the photos done. Everything's fine.
Do they let you in but... Yeah. Yeah. Because you pre-paid everything.
So we're still at the front of the queue. But as we showed up. They made the point it was P. Yeah.
But they just let us through and we did the Santa photos. But then something else happened. What? The tree.
Oh yeah. That's right. Now we'll see a less. So you pick up.
I'm a big thing because the show's at Farra apart. And like... That's been a couple of weeks worth the start. By until Christmas.
So I'm just saying that trees can dry up and just crack. Because of the heat. Hang on. Give me a minute.
Chantel. Can you drop that down for the next excuse? My excuse. Oh.
Anyway. So I had to do the ufillion insurance. Have I allowed to tell them why? Dury mouth the woods?
Yeah. OK. So I'm filling in the insurance form. It was a branch but the branch was a size of log.
It's not time to be in a branch but on the car. Then brackets. Size of the log. Close brackets.
So they know it wasn't like a little twig. This thing was massive. But my wife was... Usually she gets home six of the car for 20 minutes on a blank phone.
I'm like she didn't do that. Because it happened within 15 minutes of getting home. She... Are you saying lucky because she's going to listen to the show?
Or were you saying... Oh my gosh. I haven't got life insurance for her. OK.
So... Well we had insurance for the car. So basically what she said was she heard... She saw shadows from the front window.
Then the crack, the bang. And then she ran out there for a trial and glass. Then it realized the car was crushed. Mate, the car's gone.
The car was gone. Yeah, the car was gone. So we went shopping for cars. So we went to Parramatta.
And you know what I mean? It's got everything. So we start from Merck on the bottom left. And work away.
Merck, Porsche. Have you got it yet? No, no. My brother's in the go.
She had it all revealed that next. We'll do a good job at a road trip. A live drive. So we got her for CDs.
To look at the car, she opens up the boot. And pulls out a measuring tape. To measure how to... Look at her.
Starting up. The guys look at her. She's measuring the boot size of her car. Well what did it have to be?
What did she measure? She wanted the biggest boot. And I said to her, no sedans. Like that's a whole day then.
No, no. It was funny. No sedans. I said no one selling sedans.
I don't want to... Because she loves sedans. She still wanted a diesel. I got your money fine one or two diesels.
I said you got to buy an SUV. Why did you not got electric? Oh she ha. Okay, my wife.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just clicked then. I just... She'll wake up and she'll say, I'll even plug it in.
She says with her phone. Little owner. A car. So no, no.
She doesn't like the Tesla. She doesn't like electric. So the biggest boot. I'll give you the cars.
We looked at Mercedes GLA, GLB. We looked at Porsche Macarne. Then we looked at Volkswagen, Tigwan, and T-Cross. T-T-Rock.
Then we went to Lexus, NX, and Mazda CX6. Wait, what happened to that car that you told me probably six months ago? There's only five coming to Australia. Wait, what do we measure the boot, won't it?
No, we haven't looked at the time to wait. And there's a 25 or at least, so it'd be number 26. It's not coming to the halfway through the year. We need a car now.
I'm going to do that. Anyway, that's it. So, and with all those cars, the Lexus had the biggest boot, the NX, then the Mazda. So the Japanese had the biggest boots in depth.
The Macarne, for the biggest car, the Macarne had the smallest boot. I wonder if the ones with the smaller boot had a full size, or a space saver? No, no. You know what the Europeans do?
They cover the rule arches. So it's not as wide, because the rule arches are like a panel. Yeah. So they're not as wide.
They're less than a meter wide, especially the Macarne. And the NX was based on the RAV. It's massive. So do we reveal what you've picked?
We're buying a GILB. I can't believe that. When I got to the GILB each hour. I know.
Yeah. What color? It's the same color as the A35. That sort of gray color.
What's that? I don't know. That's right. Cool.
I mean, do you, what is it? Should be this week. We're negotiating. I bought new cars as well today.
I haven't done one too much fleet. Not the smash one. Yeah. No.
Wait, hold on. Geez. What a surprise. You guessed it.
Because I thought it was a mother-dad smash. Nothing is a still not fixed. No, no, that's a good one. You bought it smashed.
You'll fix it. Yeah. It's not easy for a laker. Yeah.
It's nice. It's one interior. Hey. That way, do you know the case?
49,000. Now, let's go for it. Yeah. What a pain.
3, 75. 3, 75. Oh, fuck. How much will cost you to fix it?
Yeah. Well, that's the problem, Pete. Now, we know where they sold it. My headline loan is $2,000.
Your what? I've owned it. Just a headline. I've owned it to $2,000.
And it needs one headline? One headline, pop a bar, grill, bonnet. And is that your fine? Yeah.
It's beautiful. I've bought it. I've bought it. I've bought it.
I've bought it. I've bought it. It's got three ready parts. More.
More, maybe. Disarmed a grubage. No, I don't know. I'm not going to rush this.
She tells you part-side because she's answering. Yeah. She's answering. She's already on it.
She's on it. She tells you're going to be arguing a groupie. Is it called a grubie? What do we sing in a band?
It's like a car. And as they're climbing up the flat, is this thing? The security just, like, pop, pop, and you're back into the water. These days I'll put it up for a salt.
No. But again, she's going to be on your grubie. She's going to be coming to some events when there's other women there, so she feels comfortable. Luxeema.
When there's other women there. OK. Well, she just laughs at you. Yeah, we are.
That's. It's going to marry. Yeah, I know. You've got the rest of it.
Spira. Oh my god. You've got it right. You've got it right.
You've got it right. You've got it right. You've got it right. Yeah, she's only boy strips.
She might want to come. It's up to her. Yeah, I see. So, I mean, some of that's right at the border.
Wait, does someone else? How was it? Is she? Well, you didn't send me the thing for a mic?
Yeah, I know. You ain't going to get one. I lost it. I've got it from your voice.
You had a good time. I've also discovered from Vegas alcohol. Alcohol fixes everything. Especially.
And the thing is, I don't really get smashed, so it's a big problem here. You know, you're going to get from breakfast. Yeah. You don't get smashed.
I'm getting camera. It's fucking cheap. Because the politicians, frickin' must get smashed. You know, like, I've got the comfort of coke.
It's like under $10. Where'd he get that? Hey, how was someone else? Oh, yeah, it was good.
No, because what I was coming up to, someone asked the head breathalyzing a lot. Outside? No, inside. And what?