And they're both cold, but now Devil has something on it. And I'm protecting Boogie's vulnerable eyes from my chaps, so he's happy. Yeah, you should have seen his junk. His package was just on display.
Okay, that's good. Why don't you and Devil switch seats? How does that sound? It's an Alexa cross.
Yeah, 41. Just don't be doing any of that nine and a half week shit like in the middle when you're like, oh, you just want to get a rise out. Also, I'm wearing briefs. It's not like I'm wearing a string.
I should have been wearing. I'm not going to have to check out fucking Delhole. It's a nice package, okay? Oh, I'm going to blush over here.
Can you guys get a fucking room and we'll start a show? The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.
One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? I can't get that your desires might be strange. The Virgin Podcast?
Come and join the Kinky World of Play. The Virgin Podcast. Hello and welcome to the Pervoted Podcasts, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle Sex and Pervirtion. Recording live from Kathy's Special Place in front of our Pervirti's studio audience.
Hello, greetings! I'm Kathy. Kind of feel flat. You always set it up for a big, just big.
Well, you know, I'm Count Boogie and over there we have, and then we have Mio on the floor and Devil is there looking very Wednesday, Adamie today. She is. Doing some Wednesday thing. I'm just getting pumped, Kathy, because tomorrow, remember I told you I needed to push Pervirti Podcasts out into the world.
And the whole thing, the thinking atheist is going to drop hopefully at the end of the month. And maybe that'll be cool to get some new listeners. But I said, what is it? James Corden, I talked about getting on that show.
And so I figured I'd start to go a little bit to the left of Corden. And tomorrow night, Mio and I are going on the Conan O'Brien show. Really? Look at Mio, are we not going on the Conan O'Brien show?
I don't believe you for a second. On the Conan O'Brien show, Kathy, Mio and I are going on the Conan O'Brien show. She won't even talk on the show, but she's going on Conan. She's going on Conan.
I mean, we'll be in the audience. Uh-huh. You know, we're not going to be on the show. I see.
I get it now. You're just going into the audience. We're just the part of the studio audience. But believe me.
You're going to make some different different. With all the other people in parking lot eight gate, you know. How did you score tickets to a... Kathy, it's Count Boogie.
You're talking about... That's why I'm asking. Count Boogie at River to Park us. Actually, any loser can go to 1iota.com and sign up to get on the waiting list for the shows.
And then they ask you some questions. Of course, I said some fucking random crazy bullshit. Because they just want to make sure that the audiences are filled with people that are going to clap and cheer and not be idiots. So I guess I impressed them with whatever my gibberish was.
And they said, okay, well, let's see how you do come in and clap. And so you and I are going to go, see the Conan show. Love fucking Conan. I've loved him for a long time.
I mean, that should be a lot of fun. Sometimes they bring the audience up. Maybe I am totally ready to do pole dancing or massage my breasts on camera. Whatever, man.
It's fucking Conan. If we had a perverted podcast t-shirt, you could wear it. I don't think I... I'm actually surprised that we don't have that as random merch.
I know. I thought we put our stuff up on... Oh, who was it? He just got logo.
Jay. He put our logo up on Cafe Press. Yeah, we have it. But not going to be wearing that on the Conan show.
I'm just going to be there. I'm going to be cool because I've gotten on a lot of shows this way. I don't like, whoa, look at me, because that's lame. Everyone fucking hates you when you do that because you're trying.
But I'm going to chill in the back and I'm just going to, you know, like, hey, Conan. Because I call him Conan. Like Ice Cream Conan. That's what I call him.
Which by the way, if he opened up a store called Ice Cream Conan, you'd all buy. You'd buy. Wouldn't you? But where are you going with this?
I'm just letting you know, me and the Conan. You know, if all of a sudden the show starts dipping and he looks over and he's like, hey, can you come sing for me or something? I'll help him. I just don't want you to get too excited.
You don't want me to get arrested is what you're saying. That too. Yeah, I think we're going to go. I'm going to see a talk show host that I've loved for a long time.
It's going to be a lot of fun. Cool. Now, you'll have a lot to talk about next week. It should be fun.
Well, yeah, seeing a professional show by people that are actually successful and have talent and get guests and have a band and take money from, you know, greedy, horrible, corporate, commercial networks. Yeah. So that'll be good. And maybe a little inspiring.
You know, maybe it'll be, maybe I'll pick up some things. We'll get some good material for the show. Yeah, maybe I'll just be like, hey, you know what? We should get this big studio.
This would be cool if we had the studio like Conan does. I think we would probably maybe go up a notch. Let's just see how that works. Okay.
But that's not what's really important. What's going on with you, Kathy? You know, there's not a lot going on with me. I had a dick.
No, because we were worried about it. I mean, I did stop bleeding finally. You were a dick worried? I'm a week and a half closer to my OBGY appointment.
Let's see what the fuck is going on in there. My uterus is doing weird things. It's doing more and more things. It's doing more and more things.
Well, it's more than the usual weird thing. It does shadow puppets within the uterus. Look, it's ET. Yeah, Elliot.
Fallopian tubes are all meaty. It's gonna be cool. Come on. You're in shadow puppet.
No, boogie. This is what Conan needs. I will call it... That's a very good band name.
Yes. What is it? You're in shadow puppets. I like it.
It sounds very like 90s. You have to start that. Sounds like a very 90s type event. We have like eight bands.
We've never even rehearsed. I know. It's like concept. We're contented to direct me in singing just now because I can't hear anything.
You did. You did. You did. You did.
You did. You did. You did. You did.
You did. You did. It was good. I definitely feel like we're on our way to our first gig.
I had a very normal week. That's gotta be humiliation. You're like, you've got that mmm. It's so humiliating.
That's bacon in your mouth. He's all, let me just get my dirty cock in there. I don't know why he's making fat. Oh.
That would be amazing. Get some bacon fat on his dick. Don't eat bacon flavor. I got bacon bacon.
I got bacon. Now, I can explore it. I would be happier giving a blowjob if it tasted like bacon. They do have bacon lube.
I've got two eggs. Yes. They have bacon everything. That's true.
They have bacon ice cream. Bacon donuts. They have bacon lube. I've not even kidding.
I've seen multiple products. We've been on feed me in the corner. Feed me in the corner. He's starting to get more and more scared.
No, just like your dick now. Do do do do do. Oops, I did. Yeah, that's the closest you're going to get to.
It's like, let's make cum taste like something else. Let's just pour all the bacon lube. I like it. It's good.
Bacon lube is working for me, man. Bacon lube. I mean, I would love a sponsorship from a bacon lube. Dale, can you make that work for us?
We would love to try a bacon. Can you contact one of these companies? And say, we want to review your bacon lube on the show. Maybe.
We'll do live. I'm trying to let the stockroom like carry some and grab you some. We'll do it live. We'll do it live.
Yeah. Let's do live. I'll put it on my dick. I'll make it look amazing.
That would be amazing for that show. No. Can we put up a partition or something? I would totally.
Oh, I would totally. I would totally. It would be amazing. Yes.
I like it. If you make it work as long as I can put up a sheet or something. Are such a whiny little dude. Just like, where do you even go from that?
Stop whining about men's penises. I'm not. Yes, you're going to see a put up a sheet. I can't see another badge.
It's right there. It's behind a thin layer of cloth. And my iPad. I'm just letting you go.
I'm just letting you just get it all out. Like, oh, it's just, do you remember Seinfeld? The only thing between us and them is a thin layer of Gabbardine. I'm just saying, if you know it's right there and there's only a thin layer of cloth, why is it?
It's just one step further. Can't he? Is that everyone's jump though? It's not.
Hey, look, there's a vagina under some jeans. It's not that I look scared. A vagina under some sweat. Don't guys think that?
No. Occasionally. I'm not laughing people naked. Yeah.
I'm like, how do I approach this? I don't have to like what I don't like. I mean, if I want to jerk off watching Tranny porn, then there's a dick there. But it's a chick dick.
Oh my god, you do? Yeah, I have. And it's weird. There's like a whole thing around it, you know?
I mean, it's a mild ear to ear. It's like a die. Really? I'll have to do that.
Well, it's like a chick, but I don't have to care about him because it's really a dude. I don't know. It's weird. Anyway, moving on.
I had an experience. No, I just totally let that go. It's like, wait a minute. What does that happen?
That's moving off from that. That's not too much. I'm not saying anything. That's fine.
But no, so I'm scared to dick. I don't want to look at a dick. And that's my choice not to look at. Yeah, yeah.
I'll put it behind a curtain. I've got a big black giant. You know what? Do you want to see me use my dick?
Haven't I? No. I've seen her head bobbing up and down. She did it mere feet away from me.
Yeah, but there was a table blocking. Well, to be any circumstances under which I would want to watch that. If it had bacon on it. Wop, it just didn't make it.
Wop, bacon. Wop, bacon. Just all the bacon. This is it.
Just a slab of cooked bacon. I was it because then there's a guy there. You would not be watching. You would be completely focused on the things that I'm actually seeing your penis.
I mean, you know this, right? You remember having place on the show on me. Yeah, but you like penis. Not all penises.
My penis is what? Wait, let me tell you about my penis. Why did I start this? Kathy, this leads into the topic before we can really get into the show.
Then we must talk about your penis. It's a man thing, Kathy. This is a man thing and I don't expect you to. As a matter of fact, I expect you to check out.
Me who's going to check out. I wouldn't tell you what was going on. Wait, okay. You want me to go over so you can see my face while we talk.
She's almost over here. She was waiting. She was waiting for this. I wouldn't tell her.
She's like, what are you doing? I can't really tell you what's the process going because you're going to try to talk me out of it. You know, don't get arrested. You've got to be jingle involved.
There's probably a jingle. There's probably to make a jingle. So, okay. So the ravioli, the car, has never been washed.
And the dirt is like literally eight inches thick, right? Oh, boogie. So, it's worse than mine. It's worse than mine.
It's worse. It was worse. And so it's like, I'm pulling up the storage and you've got to pull up close and I'm trying not to touch it. And so, I'm like, I really just need to suck it up and wash the car.
Just because I don't have a hose and I'll go to the little do it yourself, wash place. And so I've been putting it off and putting it off and finally I'm like, go wash your car. It was like six in the morning and you wash is open, whatever. And there's already like 50 people there on Sunday morning washing.
There's like a lot of people. But there's a spot. And so I paid the three bucks and you get like four minutes and you've got to time it all out when you're poor because you're like, okay, I've got one minute. I've got one minute to rinse and then you've got to soak and then you've got to soak really quick and then you've got another minute to rinse and then.
Ah, drive down the block. Drive down the block. Dry off, get some paper towels, clean the windows. Done.
Okay. So that I did. Okay. So.
I'm very glad you by the way. And oh my God, Kathy, the second that water hit the car, you just saw like cascading mudside. I'm like, oh my God, this really was due. And so I got the car clean and then I got to storage, right?
And I get to storage and I get out and I don't have to worry about not touching the car because it's not dirty anymore. And I'm like, oh my God, and I run my finger on it. I'm like, oh my God, my car is totally clean. And I open my door in storage and I look at it and it's silver.
So you can't really tell, but I can tell that it's really, you know what I'm saying? So it's really clean and I go, oh my God, and I got so happy because the sun was coming up and the sun glimmered on the clean car and it looked different and it was just clean and it made me just, it just made me feel better because I've been, you know, you feel a little dirty and whatever and you know, you got to really work at it. And I look at it and all I can think of it and I go, oh my God, that car is so clean. I want to put my dick on it.
I knew it. I fucking knew it. I just want to touch this clean car with my dick. And because that's a guy thing is you got to put your dick on things.
I don't think so. That's not a guy thing. Sure. Dell, you're an anomaly.
Shut up. Put on your matrix jacket. Okay. Yes.
This is how I make your wishes known if I agree with you, but in such an off-handed matter that it's like, I think he doesn't actually agree. It's great. Just tell you're out of the story. You failed story.
I've been banned. So I'm like, I swear to God, I got to put my dick on this car just because it's clean and I feel like that would be amazing for some reason. And then all of a sudden it became this process. Well, I can't do that because I got cameras in this alley.
So I can't just whip out my dick and like start fucking humping my car. What was that anything about humping the car? You were just going to touch your dick to the car? Yeah, but I got to pull the dick out to do it.
So I'm like, okay, there's cameras. And so I'm like, I'm not going to do that here. And I like, haha, laughed it off. And then I let it go.
And as I'm driving, I start going, well, where could I put my dick on my car? And then I started thinking about, you know, because downtown Burbank, North Hollywood, it's like everywhere has cameras. Every shop I go to everywhere has cameras. I can't do it in a neighborhood because obviously if you pull out your dick and put it on your car in a neighborhood, not a very family-friendly activity to do in a neighborhood, you know, I guess I could drive up to the mountains or something.
And then, you know, probably the Rangers are going to catch me or something putting my dick on my car because I'm sure in my head, most guys would be like, if I explain the entire story, if I got to that point before they fucking taves with me, you know, maybe I'd be like, well, you know, I can understand that guy's got to put their dicks on things. So all of a sudden it now became this whole thing throughout the day because it was community day for Pokemon go ahead and catch shiny turt wigs, got like 400 of them. And the whole day I'm out, I'm looking around, I go, I couldn't put my dick on my car here. I couldn't put in became this whole like privacy issue, like there's nowhere in the world for a man to just whip out his dick and put it on his car.
And so it became like obsessive, you know, as I'm thinking about it, I'm like, God damn, there's nowhere to put my dick on my car. And then I'm like thinking of like things to do. And then finally I start going, I'm gonna wait for night and I'm just going to take the risk. I'm going to go to fries.
I'm going to put fries parking on after they closed, you know, because it's Sunday and I'm going to put my dick on my car. I knew it. Fries parking lot seems to be rich. We've done a lot of things.
So, Kathy, it's night, I finished all my little walking and I'm like, okay, I'm tired. I walked like 20 miles yesterday, got a bunch of book, I was fun. And now I'm going to go put my dick on my car. I don't care.
I'm not going to go to the cameras, but hopefully they're not watching. Pull into the parking lot of fries. On one side of the parking lot where I was going to put my dick on my car because it's right by the cemetery and it's real dark. And because dead people don't mind if you put your dick on their car.
It's not there. It's not, they don't care. There's some fucking dudes that are there like riding scooters, like learning how to put a scooter together or whatever. And I'm like, God damn it.
Now I can't go to the place. I was going to put my dick on my car and put there. So I'm like, okay, the parking lot's giant. I'll go to the other side of the parking lot.
So I drive around to the other side and all of a sudden I see a motorcycle going back and forth. And then 30 at night someone's giving fucking motorcycle lessons to their friend where I would be plan B put my dick on my car. And I'm like, what the fuck now? I'm like starting to get pissed.
I'm like, I just want to put my dick on my car before it's dirty again. And so finally I'm like, fuck it. Costco. Costco parking lot.
Well, outside the parking lot. I'm just going to go on the street. I know there's businesses, but it's late and it's dead. And I'm like, how am I going to do this?
You know, like I can't just whip it out. So you know, when I peek at the other, I don't know, you don't wear shorts. When you pee instead of pulling your pants down all the way like in the front and like flopping your dick over the top of your shorts where you can shake off and get pee over everything, I kind of now just lift one leg and like tuck my dick out and then pee and then I can shake it and put it back in. And I go, maybe I'll do that.
I'll just pull one leg up, expose my dick, pretend I'm looking at something on top of the car and make it happen. And nobody will be. And nobody wanted to wiser. And then I can actually stick my dick on my car.
So and at that point I started thinking like I should write a song about it. Stick him on the car. Stick him on the car. And so I'm like, yeah, now I'm getting in the mood and now because now I know the moment is coming.
So I'm like, hey, I could get arrested and I don't want to tell me what you're going to do, I'm not going to tell you because you're trying to talk me out of it. So I pull up, I get out of the car. I look around. There's like six homeless campers, you know, a ways away and I'm like, fuck them.
They're crazy too, probably. I go over the car. I look around again. I lift my shorts, expose my penis, pretend to look at something and I press my cock against the side of my car.
Kathy? Yeah. It was good. It was cool.
The middle was cold against my junk. And then I'm like, and then I'm there and I'm like, yeah, motherfucker, my dick against my car. I rubbed it for like 15 seconds. Not a lot.
I didn't like, I didn't like, I dumped your own car. I dumped it. And then I'm like, I got a pee. And so then I just turned to the side.
I'm already there and I peed and it was funny because right where I just made it sounded like you did. It was funny though. I turned and I looked up in the sign right above where I was peeing while I was peeing said, street may flood and I thought that was funny. That's all I got, Kathy.
This is the show. I wanted to do this before the thinking atheist people got to us. You look great, you're bad. Cause it rocks put a needle in your con.
You're con. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. You're a good guy.
I think it was a wise decision to wait. It's not my song. I did that in storage. Don't get caught.
That feels good. That's a storage jingle. It's good. It sounds really good.
Sounds okay. I got to work on the guitar a little bit. That's pretty funny though. I'm you.
Look, she just moved. She made eye contact with me for about twice and she's like, she's literally curled up sleeping on the floor. I'm going to move away. Why didn't you, why don't you bring blanket?
You know it's going to be cold in here. Oh. Just smiled and chucked her head back into those massive black coat. Okay.
Now that I took 20 minutes of our time to talk about my dick. Skyfire wrote a post call. By interview. Fucking love that.
My porpe is a skye-fye-fye. I think he's ever going to let his permission to do an interview. It's a fucking great thing he's going to do another talk. You're going to do another talk.
It's called a firehawk because he's been playing Borderlands. It's a firehawk. Skyfire. It sounds like a move on Moltress or something.
Good name. Skyfire is a fucking great name. He wrote a post call comparison is the Thief of Joy which is apparently a quote by Hano Roseville. Wasn't he a cross-dresser?
What? Where do you get this stuff from? But you know those presidents, you know Who knows what they get up to? Alright, he says far too often I hear the word enough am I submissive enough am I dominant enough am I kinky enough?
The answer to all of these is yes now I have a lot of experience and I have had a lot of play partners and all of them were enough for me the new girls the Experience women and everybody in between they were enough because eventually they learned to just be themselves You are the one that has to be happy at the end of the day Just because someone else takes more pain or acts more subservient or contorts their body into crazy positions for pretty rope bondage Does not make your over the knee spanking any less enjoyable the things that get you off are just as valid as the things you watch others Do this is not a contest nor are there any requirements to be considered kinky find your joy and hold on to it Name In my first gut instinct I love what he is is trying to say and it's very validating and It's it's very important that he was talking about you have to be enough for yourself I believe with some of the thrust of that but I do have Philosophically I have turned that whole am I enough am I enough am I enough to the reality is that? In some ways no you will never be enough you will never be somebody's everything Everybody has to be enough for themselves. Do you make sense? I think we talked about that on the show before that no matter how amazing you are or how not amazing you are That there is always something you are not perfect at and I think what the message in this post was hopefully That you don't have to be perfect You just need to be the best you and but the reality is is that that devil's advocate comes in and says well If everyone was enough why are we in so many different relationships?
Because there's a moment where it's not enough there's a moment where what you do and what they do doesn't work anymore And it's not enough to maintain the relationship and that's the reality behind it That's the harsh reality is that humans are fallible and some people want this at sometimes and sometimes they want that I've had 50 different Relationships they are not here now you and I are together I you know hopefully that will last a little longer But there is that point to where I don't like the word enough just because it it gives everyone else the power over me Instead of me being enough for myself, right? But in particular he's talking about comparing yourself obviously to somebody else in that regard even in another part of the post Talks about the the exception to this is if you're a top and you want to expand your craft and you say my enough No, I I'm not I want to learn more sure that's something That's an a question and answer that you ask yourself and you answer yourself based on your skill level not because you're comparing yourself to somebody else So I kind of agree with you the term and you know am I enough of whatever? I guess it depends a lot on context Yeah, what you're doing it is comparing yourself to somebody else that's not I'm not gonna say ever I can imagine that there might be some possibilities where that could be considered a healthy thing But for the most part, it's not necessarily a healthy thing to venture out into your asking yourself I'm not asking enough is getting as that person so I'm not enough right? I'm not valid because I'm not what that person is or whatever in particular in the game community You see this at everywhere, but in the game community you're watching a lot of play a lot of people doing edge play a lot of people going beyond the limits That you have looking a lot better than you dressing a lot better than you and you see the opposite too But we tend to look at those that are better than us and go.
Oh god. I'm just not good enough and That's where it can get toxic and so I battled with this constantly This is I don't think this is ever gonna be something in fact Somebody the place that we don't go to anymore I still don't feel like I want to go there in a friend of mine was trying to entice me to go and said You know you could play and I imagined myself walking back in there and maybe playing with someone and going into a room and getting naked And the first thing I thought even after all these years of trying to empower myself is oh no I'm I've gained weight and I was already fat to begin with and now I'm so fat and I have a disproportionate body And it's really quite hideous because I'm now 53 and it looks a lot worse than it did 10 or 20 years ago And I start running this litany of excuses through my head and it's infuriating to me personally because you always think you've come a long way And then those thoughts filter back in and you realize something I haven't come a long way But this fucking monster is still on my shoulder. Yeah, and I'm battling it always it seems like I absolutely agree And I have a lot of the same just mental mental hatreds self-hatreds body image, you know Everything now in my situation, you know, oh I smell, you know, what blah blah blah blah I just it really is that balance if you are not in a healthy place With yourself to where you validate yourself and you're like look I hate the dishonesty of saying oh, I don't have to compare Myself to other people but socially that's that's how a lot of things work It works and how you get a job it works in education it works in a lot of ways How you achieve socially is the better you are at certain things the more successful you are depending on what your ventures are and so I don't have a problem Saying Paul Simon writes better music than me because I've heard 900 of his songs and I've heard 250 of my songs and I put the two together and I go Paul Simon has better songs It doesn't mean I don't have good songs and doesn't mean I don't maybe have a couple really good songs in there But it's just fucking honest Don't be afraid of that comparison I am not afraid of that comparison because to me what that does is it says hey I may not have the body of work that Paul Simon does but I also didn't have the environment and I haven't had a you know So maybe I could why don't I just try to write better fucking songs? Why don't I just try to achieve and become a better person?
We've talked about this on the show is that I really don't like that whole Because whenever we get in this you're not you know oh am I enough? Oh you shouldn't say that oh you shouldn't you know You shouldn't compare yourself you shouldn't whatever in some ways suck it the fuck up and get better I don't mind knowing that I am not as pretty and that my dick doesn't stay as hard or my dick isn't as big or Any of the numbers of things that I there are lots of people in certain ways that are better They're just better and it's my job to accept myself and go the package that is count boogie That's enough for me to get through the day But are there people that are you know have a lot more talent and prettier and whatever yes the answer is yes Have I been left for people that made the people that I was with happier the answer is fucking yes And in that situation for that person that specific person I was not good enough suck at the fuck up and accept reality Yeah, and but that's the question isn't it can is it possible for you to compare yourself to someone else and not get down on yourself That's your self or any reason like your reason in which you look at someone who's writing is better than you and it prompts you to try and do better Compare yourself for any reason and not feel bad about yourself. That's the tough part most people just can't do it It's almost impossible another example is there the question came up of whether or not the next time creative explorer had a game Day if I would serve you know just wearing an apron sure and I know some of the people that would be there and these are beautiful women and Just nicer looking at me. That's a fact it really is they're nicer looking at me And it's and I think it in myself Okay, maybe I got a much bigger apron than the one I have that way would cover more of me And then I realize god damn it you're doing it again can you ever?
See yourself doing this and I realize the only way that I could do this is I would have to do considerable work ahead of time sure to Get myself to that point where I would not want to cry just coming out there I and it would I'm not sure that it's worth it because it's it's temporary and it won't last and it's a tremendous amount Like I have to give myself constant pet talks working up to it and and and boy myself up without Lying to myself not an easy thing to do sure and so I don't I haven't answered that question for myself yet But I understand exactly what he says. I also love how he did put at the end of that It's not that all comparison, you know comparing is a bad thing sure so I like that you brought that up because it's absolutely true You don't do anything that you basically covered most of it damn it. I need to stop talking No, well like two minutes after it depends on how you go about it because as Boogie said You're always in a compare but it's just a headspace that you go in with it It's like oh, I want to just help improve and it's like oh, they're so good at that like I want to get there Versus the they're better than me. What's the point?
I suck and that's the part how you try to phrase it like things of like Some people are okay go with me on this because now I don't know. I'm in a shitty mood now I put my dick on my car. So I should be happy. Yeah, I have your car man.
Yeah, I bucket list my car But the victimy people that literally Preach and they write on their fucking Facebook's and Instagram's how they aren't good enough because this so into so didn't bad So that way all of their friends will then do the month a little march on to their keyboards and go you're good enough Yeah, you're good. You just need to turn that front upside down I think you're beautiful I think you and that is just fucking fuck off and kill yourself That's really my first thought when I see that because just ask for attention if you want the attention if you're saying look I don't feel good about myself, you know, I need attention That's honest like last week when I said please write to me and tell me that you love me because I'm feeling very needy That's true. You see terrified people on that show people were like Catholic Catholic was legitimately somebody gonna watch your night or she's gonna go into the night and play to me Maybe someone just sleep outside and just listen for that What is that? Now I totally is it the name Skyfire?
Yeah, I can't even remember a name that I've screamed out 80 times It's going it was a very good post. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh my god.
Yeah, you're gonna hurt your throat Just look at me look at her position now look you can't even see her She's just sprawled out with the coone you know what the problem is is she doesn't have a girl to cuddle with and fondle and suck their heat from Devil's like what? I'm gonna do that no, I don't think devil is gonna go lie on the ground. She's like I have clothes on Greedy and I'm wearing you know she's smiling under their heads covers. He's like he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he She's fast asleep I can tell no she's not they're using the shoulder pads pillows They're quite large.
They're quite large. They're very 1980s shoulder pad. Yes. Who didn't love the goddamn 80s shoulder pad.
I am telling you All right, I'll make a new one. No what a new perverted podcast. I know that's old school The perverted mailbox are yeah the jingle that's I was like a bunch of perverted I don't know why you use that one so often it happens. It's they're set for their week if you must know so I'm like five.
I make like five and then that's time But that was old that was really old. I'm gonna take that one out of the rotation put it. Yeah take it out of the rotation Okay, do some magic. All right, so I did I did I don't know how this happened I just came off very meaty last week Yeah, you went and then what was the best is at the end of the show I remember you know I don't remember shit That's true But you went at the end of the show and you're like this whole and then you're gonna fucking kill yourself and fuck And Del and I are like waiting for you to turn and be like I'm just kidding you guys are all great I'll see you next week and you just kept going and then you stop like in mid-hate and we were like oh We're gonna just yeah Well, I had a couple people even was very nice thinking that I actually didn't need what I did you did you know I did bacon panes and Kathy I love you.
You're wonderful, and I appreciate everything you do for the show I hope you find someone to take your frustrations out on not me maybe try time boogie up in his sleeping smacking with a sack of oranges He'll never know what hit him like like bludgeon me like No, you bludgeon them with peas get right penitentiary bludgeoning You know just like man want you to put soap in a fucking soccer He'll never know what he's on the yard fuck you just sending you love because you need it when I said Thank you so much so nice you because you make my day every week So it's only fair I give back from time to time bake and panda. I love you. I love you too I love our listeners. I'm just I need a second is in your name at least it was oranges You know I'm thinking like cuz I like oranges.
I've been really kind of Jones and cuz I'm not eating it could be worse It could be grapefruits those would be larger now the problem is now I don't like cuz grapefruits counteract the Viagra. Oh, yeah, I can't have them because they mix badly with my Lipitor Yeah, yeah, so fucking grapefruits that I love so no don't put grapefruits in the socks that you're gonna crawl Alright, all you do oranges oranges. I like a lot of the ravioli in the middle of it. Just like shake it I bust it be like fuck you fuck you here's your advocate back of orange juice Drink your pulpy bitch.
Oh, like why? Why can't I? Stop bludgeoning me look at I can do that isn't a safe word Alright the second one is headley wrote to us in response to my telling him would you please tell us what those two mp3? Oh, yeah He says the mp3 files I sent our home recordings done on a real-to-real recording machine in the 60s probably in someone's living room in Virginia I am a hobby archivist of magnetic tapes most I post to soundcloud But this was too edgy for my wee bitty audience or rather my ultra Catholic girlfriend made me take it down Five years together and no wunga wunga but that's fine because my kinky is Victorian repression as a form of dionnesian castration That is what that is right there and now some information now.
There's something we can work with I didn't even pronounce that I just saw okay. It was amazing. I saw that line and I was like and now we have something that I said You gotta let me read that on the show. Okay.
You gave me some more weirdness than I'm interested That is when you see that is where you go this This perverted podcast we get to have all the fetishes cuz it you did I mean it sounds so fucking specific That it's just so I love it. I love it. I love it. I mean I put my dick on my car I can't they can't talk to anything, but it's just so like how people deal with I mean that's one of the things I love so much about Doing this show is I see so many points of you because then my next question is okay You have an sex with your ultra Catholic girlfriend.
You're into this dystopian, you know repression thing So it's kind of like a chastity Whatever I don't know whatever it is utopian dystopian Mad Max Jess. I'm pretty sure if you live in a society where no one has one go one go for five years So we'll call that a dystopia. Okay, I'm just gonna say I'm an easy and I don't even die on you see and it's like fucking 80 syllables I nice as the God of wine the Greek God of wine. I'm wine if I didn't get one go one go for five years, too Okay, so I don't know if you've even heard them.
I mean they're kind of no I have it Okay, I want I can I gotta find them again. I don't know They're literally our inbox. Okay, okay. I'll check I'll check them in the above Thank you head, but I want to know is let's get back to the fucking fetish or the kink and what I want to know if Heading is his name headly headly headly mom.
I wouldn't pay it Go smesters Fucking placing and then we'll just go with them back No, what I want to know if he'll respond would be what is the headspace you get from this process because obviously it's very long Going and there's a certain amount of because it's like the chastity and a lot and a lot of these guys like I don't get not having I can sort of understand edging where you don't come for a little while and then you know you come But the whole idea of that being ongoing and and allowing that to kind of build in that The whole like mental castration thing. I'm like that's fucking fascinating to me like what does that do for you? I you know he could just be fucking with us right? I mean you realize that he could if he's that's very specific fucking it I'm gonna say no, I know that phrase like that would be something deprecating I would say if I wasn't having sex with a girlfriend for ages Yeah, I mean maybe if I knew that term I would probably say that if a Victorian repression is a form of Dionysia and Kestra I like it.
I'm just time it. Yeah, I normally just go for a literary sort of very References, you gotta write this and tell us what that means if it is true if it is true That's fine. We like it. Yeah, I'm not like I remember I told you I hosted leveling a few times when I was a carer and and there was always this thing to figure out who was lying like people Would call up and they'd share all sorts of stories and some of them would be bullshit You know and then to be like ah we caught you this bullshit.
This is a bullshit question of a blah blah blah and my point of view is like if it's a good question I don't really care if it's bullshit because the answer is gonna hopefully be helpful to someone who it's not bullshit to it You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so I mean if it's blatant bullshit, then it's funny Then that's great, but if it's if it's at least valid and can start a discussion. I really don't care if it's bullshit That's my thought it's a very strange kinky for this. It's not strange.
It's wonderful Strange to me, but I'd like to know about that. That's pretty good. I like it like it That's what my grandmother would have said that's why you don't go to your grandma for some fucking advice Because you tell you not to do it don't put your dick on your car. I would say do it in a garage probably Why all of a sudden my Jewish grandmother just got Not even a voice I mean is it okay because I was adopted if I have a lot of sexual fantasies about my grandmother Yes legally no, well not she was my biological because I you know I just you make the devil cackle you know like when I remember never mind me I should just keep that to my side I mean I talked about jerk enough to do it now I just look for it.
Yeah, you know Nick Raphelia is not necromancy. It's not it's not necromancy Necromancy. Is that when you romance the dead? No, that's when you revive the dead and dnd Oh, oh, yeah, I guess that'd be cool.
Like making a zombie. Yeah. Jeffrey Dumber tried that. It wasn't very successful for him.
What? You made Devil laugh. I don't think that was mentioned at the death museum. What?
That Jeffrey Dumber tried to make zombies out of his victims? Yeah, I don't think they mentioned the zombie bits. Injecting shit into their frontal lobes to try to keep them zombie and it never worked and they died. They still just died.
No, they died. No, no, no. I mean, they might have had the thing at the museum. They didn't talk about the zombies yet.
Okay. All right. That's interesting. What?
That's enough. Did you just call? Did you just call shenanigans? All right.
I didn't have me as a side. The shit into the brain commented it. Did I say shit into the brain? No, I didn't.
No, I didn't. By acting shit. No, no, no, I meant like shit. Like Sine Eyed or whatever.
Like, you know, like, drain. But the image. No, he didn't stick it up his ass. We'll have some shit and then put it in the brain.
Now you're shit for brain. Shit for brain. That's the quote. Oh, boogie.
If that were only your kink. Ah. All right. This is from our lovely friend Amazon Princess.
Amazon. She wrote us and she said, I'm still very new to the community and getting to know people and letting people get to know me. I've got something I'd love to hear you guys' opinion on. How do you balance opening up to people with not wanting to give sadists knowledge to use against you?
There seems to be a very fine line. For example, I tried fire-capping recently and the person doing it knew that I get OCD about stuff so they made sure one cup was way out of line with the rest. Another example is I was at a fighting class this week and made a comment about, hey, I'm on track to be bruised free by Saturday and I could see the glint in the other people's eyes as they were trying to work out how they could bruise me. I already have to do a lot of filtering of what I say around my unaware of vanilla friends and it's exhausting.
I don't want to feel like I have to do that with my kink friends and family. P.S. Hashtag bring back Lois. Mmm.
Don't listen to that part. I have a comment if you want to start. The comment is, suck it up. You're going to have to explain things to people because people are dicks and they get their little thrills by fucking with you and we all have a certain level of that where we're especially on the show.
We all make jokes with each other and Kathy gets her jabs in about me not taking money and I get my jabs in about me. I'm not looking at penises. Not looking at penises. And so there's a lot of things where we poke at those things and it's a little thrill for us and it also makes us closer and it also makes us less butt hurt about the bigger fights that we may have and Kathy and I have talked about that a lot of the shit.
What the big fights we've had? Well a lot of the shit that we talk like you have to do something really bad for us to get to that point to where it's like fuck this person forever. Who? You and me?
Yeah because we talk so much shit about constantly that it would have to be normally a fraction of the things that you and I say to each other. Would send people into a feud that would last for 50 years. You and I know that we're doing it in a humor kind of way. Yeah I'm sure that the road nerd of it could intentionally.
It's a mock blood feud not an actual blood feud. So I think when I read this I mean the first line of how do you balance opening up with not wanting to give say to something to use against you. There is in my opinion there's no way around it. You have to disclose your limits and you have to add on to it when you say oh look I'm Bruce free today and I would like to stay that way.
That is you have to advocate for yourself. Unless you're in a relationship with someone long enough to where they know when to push and when not to push. I think in that context it was more people that they were saying that too. Yeah that would be like they wouldn't know that etiquette.
Yeah I know she said a fighting class the fact that they had malice and you know look at their I don't know. Well that's I mean that's a non-king center but with the sadist the sadist you have to say. Yeah there's a difference between like hey this is an actual limit or like a sub limit. I'd rather you not do this and the hey you can do this I'll get annoyed and I might like it like you have to.
Yeah I mean are you being in bad mode are you in this mode do you like humiliation do you like. Like I've definitely done the leading my one twice like we ask you for someone who is mildly OCD and they were just like yeah. Yeah I get teased by creative explore all the time but because I've opened that door and I let him do it and there are times where he crosses the line. Sometimes he knows he's doing it sometimes he doesn't know and I call him on it almost every time because I like the relationship we have and I don't want it to grow into something that I don't like.
And so that kind if I want that that means I need to do the hard thing and call my dominance on something. It's not an easy thing to do. So actually creative explore had something very aggressive to say about this and I was kind of typing is he didn't he thought I was type of something else I think he knows that was right now what he said that what he said that this is speaking to her you're actually lucky that these people have so openly showing you what assholes they are ignorance is a lot easier to deal with than malice if people won't respect your wishes you simply say I don't play with people who do that and then they can decide if they want to change they don't have to change but you don't have to accommodate people who in turn don't accommodate your play style. Bravo.
Bravo now here's my take on this for whatever reason this you've gotten this kind of reputation where the minute you open your mouth you're they think you're broadcasting what it is that you want. And it doesn't at this point it doesn't really matter whether you did that unwittingly whether you started it and they ran with it it doesn't really matter that the fact remains that at this point you're kinky friends and the people that you play within a kink environment think that your declaration of being a masochist means it's open season on your ass which is not it's actually not true but for whatever reason you've arrived at this place where most people think that about you when you already have that established and by the time you realize that you don't like it it's already gone that far you have to walk it back and it's not an easy thing to do because you have to do a shit ton of work that sees almost above and beyond what you would have to do because the reputation is already out there. So you're going to have to do some crazy ass look I need to sit down with you two I want to talk to you guys as my friends you're going to have to lay it out you're going to have to explain something that to most people seems counterintuitive that just that you're a masochist so you want me to hurt you well no just because I enjoy pain doesn't mean that I get sexual gratification from it that I physically feel good that emotional it feels good there are a lot of people who are masochists who need it but that doesn't necessarily mean I think it feels good right so masochist is a very broad term that can mean many things and it does not mean that just because you're a masochist anybody has a right to hit you well I think I mean going back even a little further I kind of go along with creative explorer anyone who is so I didn't know how to use the term anyone that doesn't get it something that is so easy to get that just because you say you are this or that that that automatically gives me permission to take that from you that is but that is a level of immaturity yeah which of course once we get more in the lifestyle here all these things that's when there's that learning time it's like oh shit I kind of you know because I made those mistakes these types of mistakes I made online we're kind of assuming that if someone says they're submissive that I can come in and sort of start do something but this is why I said that you're not exactly sure how you got this far because what if she has some culpability in this we don't know what if because with all good intention because you are someone this has happened to me who doesn't like to be confrontational and doesn't want to be mean to people you just let things slide let things slide before you know what you're so deep in the shit that to walk it back is going to take a tremendous amount of work it's not necessarily that we're not going to assume that the people that she's playing with are all assholes some of them are but this is a good part about sitting down in whatever manner you want to with one or two at a time with a whole group at a time and explaining to them what's going on because you're going to be able to separate the assholes who don't want to hear it or get offended from your true friends who hear you and realize what's been going on and an easy way to do that or at least an element of that conversation has to be look I understand that I have culpability in this that I may have given the wrong signals because I didn't want to hurt people's feelings but I realize now that it's gone this too far and I need to walk it back and I need to explain to you guys that it really hurts me or I don't like it or like I said earlier just because I'm a masochist doesn't mean as fucking open season on my ass I don't want to be hurt without my consent and a story I think that's that's amazing and I also want to throw in that as far as like the personal culpability and I've seen this so many times maybe for a year or two three years you really were just I like just everyone to beat me I like you know and so like that reputation that you talk about where you put forward evidence to show people yeah I used to let you know or you know you're a promiscuous and you like different people to do things maybe you've done a lot of scenes where you let everyone in the dungeon put a finger in you or whatever that is you have the absolute right at any time to change what you like and what you don't like and that that could be the case at times because sometimes people are really bold and then they kind of burn out on their masochism or whatever and they're like I'm really not that into it I mean you and I have gone through all sorts of changes and what we're really into and then what we're not and then you know and at that each time there's some change there you're going to have to let the world know that knows that you have changed exactly otherwise they're not going to know you've changed yeah that's another example I hadn't even thought of what if that's the case with her I mean I'd like creative to explore just many things that I would not let someone else do if somebody else tees me the way he does or treats me the way he does oh my god you are a fucking asshole and you're going to get you know my knee and you're growing because I did not give you permission to do that to me however I have had experience in my past I had nothing to do with kenk they were in the vanilla world in which I got a reputation for being treated in a certain way and this is in a work environment and I the reason I'm saying this is because the amount of work it took me to walk that back was was ridiculous it's it's doesn't make sense that so it doesn't make sense in our own minds when we think you should be able to just stand up and say I no longer want this I don't no longer want to be treated this way when from now on when you give me this you know I don't want you to expect that I'm going to do it and yeah some people got offended and some people more people got offended than I would think and there were very few people who were okay with it and understood inter-responsibility and realized that was not in my job description and neither was the way you were you were handing work off to me so easily and so that's why I say it this is coming from experience that sometimes having to explain this to people it seems like it's more work than should really be necessary but it's not once you've established that relationship well look at that look at Kathy and I and Ellen everyone in the room's here in the world why are we here in the world we care the world of the same boredom that's it that I will agree with we cared the world of what I'm that is our show thank you so much you guys I love that you emailed me and said did you love it because I was I'm not feeling needed to do this I had to like stop the show you're like counseling you gotta kind of wrap this back into something positive I got nothing just just a love lab tonight are a catatonic mew lying on the floor is anyone seen her breathing actually the jackets moving the jackets moving yay stick a finger in her butt don't like that though from me nobody else and thanks so much dad and devil for being here again our only audience member some D&D and Kathy's special place wow right over my head I know the dragons what Delan devil what doesn't check oh really went over that did that's two D's buggy got it if you have questions comments or ideas please email us at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com I'm not gonna give up this number anymore give us a home address right now exactly I'm not giving out a check it fine to manage I'll teach you I've been promising out for months I know right I'll do it next week all right then 424 to 262037 take us out we take me out take us out the song stick him out to come on car but feels we'll see you next week here's another song we've all do you wake up at night to find aliens burning crop circles in your views is your push so thick that we don't even know if you're a chick or a dude trip your snatch don't be a monkey shake your ball they smell kind of funky we be balls take a little care because nobody wants to choke on your pubic hair as the forest ranger stuck a ticket between your thighs for creating a fire hazard take some scissors do the hairy while buffalo crutch and clean up that disaster trip your snatch don't be a monkey shake your ball they smell kind of funky heavey balls take a little care because nobody wants to choke on your pubic hair you say you say it's natural to have a hairy beaver well taking a dump is natural to but that doesn't turn me on either you say people groom are insecure and getting into a fashion phase then why don't you get in a time machine and take your snobby hippie furry genitals straight back to the caveman days trim your snatch don't be a monkey shake your ball they smell kind of funky heavey balls so take a little care nobody wants to nobody wants to nobody wants to choke on your pubic