226: Erectile Dysfunction After Prostate Cancer: Steve’s Story of Loss, Love and Getting Back in the Game

Episode Overview:  Steve Fisher is 77 years old, lives in Nebraska, and has been through more than most men can imagine. In 2020, he and his wife were both diagnosed with cancer at the same time. Her lung cancer surgery was followed by a catastrophic complication, and Steve lost her in late 2020, while still carrying his own prostate cancer diagnosis.  In the first half of 2021, Steve went ahead with treatment: low-dose brachytherapy (permanent seed implants) followed by 20 sessions of external beam radiation, plus a short course of Lupron (a prescription hormonal therapy). His PSA is now sitting at 0.04. Cancer-wise, things are excellent.  But nobody told Steve what was coming next. No one talked to him about erectile dysfunction, penile rehabilitation, vacuum pumps, constriction rings, or the emotional weight of losing sexual function on top of losing a partner. He navigated that on his own, with little support from his healthcare team.  Then in May 2026, Steve stumbled across Victoria Cullen's website A Touchy Subject on YouTube, joined The Hub, and things started to shift. He ordered daily Cialis and a Soma OT medical-grade vacuum pump — the right equipment, with the right information about how constriction rings work in combination with a pump. Within two months, Steve and Carol were having penetrative sex again for the first time in years.  This episode is also about the emotional and psychological side of this journey — the anxiety men carry silently, the male ego dimension of losing erectile function, and the importance of community, peer support, and simply having someone to talk to who understands.  This is a warm, funny, honest, and genuinely hopeful conversation about grief, finding love again, getting information too late, and what happens when a man finally gets the right tools and the right support.   Golden Tip: How to use the pumps with a constriction ring successfully, including Steve’s tip about lubricant on the outside of the cylinder.     In This Episode, We Cover  Options when PDE5i (Viagra etc) don’t work   The difference between medical-grade vacuum pumps and sex toys   Why injections (Trimix) failed for Steve and what was missing from the picture  Constriction rings: the information that changed everything- Golden Tip even Melissa learnt something new!  Finding love again in later life and navigating intimacy with a new partner  The mental and emotional toll of erectile dysfunction, the side no one talks about enough  Victoria Cullen’s community The Hub, and why peer support matters  Steve’s new YouTube channel: Everyday Prostate Cancer Warrior   Key Message from Steve  Steve’s closing message is about the emotional and mental burden men carry through this. Cancer treatment gets you through the door. But the anxiety, the silence, the feeling that you should just be grateful you’re alive that stays with men for years. Steve wants other men to know it is acceptable to talk about it, to seek support, and to keep going. He had almost given up entirely. Finding the right community, the right information, and the right equipment changed everything.    Resources & Links  The Hub – Victoria Cullen’s online community for men navigating prostate cancer recovery and intimacy: A Touchy Subject / The Hub  Steve’s YouTube channel – personal stories and practical experience from a prostate cancer survivor: Everyday Prostate Cancer Warrior on YouTube  Book a telehealth appointment with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic  For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com.au   Steve Fisher YouTube link to his Everyday Prostate Cancer Warrior. https://youtu.be/APLm1W8uPBA?si=SfaA9A74GqMNcvUq  Click here to shop the Sompatherapy Pumps: The Touch II Automatic Pump, and the Response II Manual Pump  Click here to watch Melissa’s YouTube video: Most Men Use the SOMA VED Wrong | Here’s the Correct Way    Book a telehealth consultation with our sexual health nurse practitioners:  Restorative Health Clinic    For more information visit our websites:  www.rshealth.com.au  www.makehardeasy.com.au  www.melissahadleybarrett.com    Need Support?  At Restorative Health Clinic, we support men and their partners with:  Penile rehabilitation after prostate cancer treatment  Erectile dysfunction  Vacuum pump and constriction ring education and prescription  Penile injection therapy  Intimacy and sexual recovery  Partner-inclusive support where appropriate  Practical, evidence-based strategies for rebuilding confidence and function    We offer telehealth consultations Australia-wide and internationally, making it easier for men to access experienced, compassionate support no matter where they live. If Steve’s story sounds familiar, we would love to hear from you.    Restorative Health Clinic also has a psychologist-sexologist joining the team. If you are struggling with the emotional or psychological side of erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer recovery, or intimacy, we can support you there too – as an individual or as a couple.    Listen & Subscribe  If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, rate, and review The Penis Project Podcast. Your feedback helps more men and their partners find these conversations. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app.    We also have a free email list for updates, episodes, and resources. You can sign up via our website.     Connect With Us  We love hearing from real people navigating their health. If you would like to share your story or ask a question, get in touch.    Email: [email protected]    Websites:  rshealth.com.au   makehardeasy.com.au  melissahadleybarrett.com    Instagram:  @melissahadleybarrett  @restorativehealth.clinic    YouTube:  Melissa Hadley Barrett    TikTok:  @melissahadleybarrett    Facebook:  Melissa Hadley Barrett  Restorative Health Clinic    LinkedIn:  Melissa Hadley Barrett    TEDx Talk:  Watch on YouTube