228: Lesbians: Aging on Their Own Terms in a Southern Cooperative

In this episode of Our Better Half, hosts Dr. Jane Fleishman, Dr. Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, and Dr. Rosara Torrisi welcome Jenifer "JJ" Firestone, a seasoned geriatric social worker and community organizer with a rich history of LGBTQ+ advocacy. JJ shares her journey from coordinating artificial insemination programs in Boston to pioneering a unique family structure where she co-parented her daughter through a landmark 35-page co-parenting legal decision with two fathers. Her extensive career in hospice and her personal experience caring for her own aging parents for six years have culminated in her latest and most ambitious mission: redefining the quality of life as we age. Now based in Weaverville, North Carolina, JJ is developing a 3.5-acre "mini-farm" model for what she calls Cooperatives for Vigorous Aging (CVA). This self-governing residential arrangement aims to house four to six individuals who wish to age in place with a focus on vibrant, meaningful companionship from "vigorous old age to death." By moving away from traditional senior living residences where rules are often dictated by others, the CVA model empowers residents to maintain autonomy and set their own standards.  JJ highlights that while the concept is still in its pioneering stages, it offers a radical alternative for those who want to maintain self-determination in their later years. The conversation also delves into the significant societal barriers to intentional aging, particularly the deep-seated denial and taboo surrounding the process, which JJ notes is second only to the taboo of sex. She discusses the chutzpah and passion required to be an early adopter of such a model and the difficulty of finding fellow pioneers willing to invest in an unestablished future. Despite these challenges, JJ has found unexpected support from younger generations and has forged deep connections with her new Southern neighbors, regardless of political or religious divides. Listeners interested in following her progress or joining the cooperative can subscribe to her Substack or reach out via email at [email protected]. If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show! As always, thanks for listening!